The Roommate from Hell

Posted by: Andee / Category:

I am a huge fan of a site called The Unknown Highway. The guy who runs the site is funny as hell and has a knack for finding some of my favorite places on the Internet. This particular article has been on his site for a long time under the category "People who Suck" and it's a story that isn't for the squeamish. I warned you!

So this guy meets a girl online (not a sexual thing) and they begin chatting on the phone every once in a while. By all accounts they are good friends, and he decides to help her out in her time of need when she needed a place to stay. This is what happens when you meet people on the net and don't do your research on them!

Shay and I were friends since we both got online, about eight years ago. She and I talked exclusively online til I got a cell phone, whereupon we started talking on the phone, at least once a week. She would often have her son chat with me online as we spoke. She was very active in the gay parenting groups online, and wrote prolifically on raising her son and her interactions with the world as a lesbian.

Shay, the villain.

According to Shay, she got kicked out of her evil grandmother's house once she finished paying off the mortgage. She bounced from place to place, even shacking herself into a rehab so she would have a place to stay though she did not have a drug addiction. She lived with friends for a long period of time, one year for one and two years with another. Her son was with her when she did.

She recently moved back in with her dad, like six or seven months ago. He got in trouble with his landlords, however, and she needed to go somewhere. She asked if she could come here and crash with me, get a job and a place of her own. I said yeah, I mean, I KNEW her, right?

She crashed here and smelled up the place with her "hormonal imbalance," which would mean that she had a bum full of shit that couldn't be wiped, though it didn't smell like poo, more like dirt and rotting vegetables.

After getting me in trouble with my landlord, I found accommodations for her with a friend who was looking for a roommate. She was to have a job with which to pay rent by the end of the month, but he gave her a free month's rent.

Fast-forward two weeks. She is getting kicked out of Statik's house form being hell on fat legs and stinking up his apartment and making a spectacle of herself in the main areas of the complex. She goes or they both go, so he was getting rid of her. This was the last straw. She e-mailed me telling me that she was going to "do what she had to do," and then I got an e-mail from her son telling me that she was going to hurt herself, so I called 9-1-1. Meanwhile, she has downed a bottle of Valerian Root. They arrested her, I called her dad.

Daddy, who turns out to actually be step-daddy, says she HAS no son. I start doing research. None of the friends she stayed with know what I am talking about, they never met her son, though they have heard of him lots, as I did, and have chatted with him online. They have all sent her money to feed him and herself. Then we go to help Statik clean up his apt, and the rest is history, granting me maybe a week of Internet stardom, which is pretty fucking funny.

So yeah, most of you know that I found out about her son, the son that I have heard about for the past eight years, the son that I have chatted with for the past eight years, does not exist. I have spoken to some of her other friends, and yeah, it's true, there is no Shane. Okay, okay, well, there WAS a Shane, but he died when he was a baby because he was born too small or something. So we're dealing with the girl who took the fun out of dysfunction.

Please click on the photo of Shay for the remainder of the story. There are millions of photos to go along with the story, so give them time to load.