Windy Sydney

I was just watching the Penn and Teller's Bullshit on YouTube. For those who don't know, I am not calling them bullshitters, that is the name of the show.

Bullshit.

And it's awesome.

Back to the story...

So, during the video about 9/11 conspiracies, they show a man who I loosely describe as a weirdo, walking up to a microphone and stating with tears in his eyes that...

No one.

NO ONE.

No one could EVER convince him that the President didn't hire Saudi nationals to fly commercial airliners into the twin towers.

I was struck by his comment. Not just because he was out of his mind, but because he believed his own crap so deeply that he became emotional.

It reminded me of the testimony meetings of my past.

You know... where people would walk up to the podium or grab the microphone being held by on of God's chosen penishood holders and state that...

No one.

NO ONE.

No one could EVER convince them that the Book of Mormon wasn't the word of God.

No one could EVER convince them that Joseph Smith wasn't a prophet.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Basically, what a person is doing by making this statement is stepping out as a skeptic. A backwards skeptic. A skeptic that believes the improbable and then refuses to let any evidence change their minds.

A true skeptic demands to be convinced.

Not just by fuzzy warm butterflies in their belly when they feel the spirit... but with actual physical and historical proof.

A true skeptic openly looks at all sides before making claims that something is true or false.

This is what all atheists have done. They HAVE read the Bible and other religious literature (and I use the word literature lightly). They HAVE seriously considered the claims of various groups.

They welcomed the studying, the nights reading page after page after page either in a book or on the internet.

They welcomed open discussion with questions and free thought.

When someone says, "No one can ever convince me," you are talking to a brick wall.

Andee

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Last night, while working on my commercial post, I was interrupted by my doorbell and loud banging at the door.

I wasn't expecting anyone, and I was already in my red plaid pajama pants and my t-shirt that says, "Blind Faith! Because Thinking Is Hard!" Needless to say, I wasn't eager to open the door. So... I didn't.

I looked out the peephole of my apartment door and saw two boy scouts with stacks of what looked like booklets and pamphlets. They didn't wait long at the door, I assume because it was already 9 pm, it was freezing cold, and they had a whole stack of booklets to deliver across the ward.

They left a copy of my booklet at my doorstep. I didn't open the door to get it. When my Mom stopped by this morning she found it and handed it to me.

I figured the booklets were for some Thanksgiving-related food drive. So many people are out of work and having a hard time paying bills that I have no problem helping out with that. I would have left out cans of food for the scouts to pick up without a second thought.

But that wasn't what the booklet was.

It was the November 2009 Ward Directory.

Super.

I haven't been to a church service in years (unless you count the few funerals I have attended since coming to my senses). As a matter of fact, when I moved back to Utah from Florida a couple years ago I didn't notify anyone. That doesn't matter, though. They found me anyway. They are good at hunting people down, aren't they?

So, I thought, what is the harm in having this little ward directory in my apartment? No harm at all. As a matter of fact, I considered emailing my bishop (I had no idea who my bishop was until I received this little gift) and asking him for a little meeting of sorts to discuss some of my problems with the church... at my apartment, of course. Not in his office.

But no email addresses. Just phone numbers. I could call him, maybe I will, I would just rather send a message through the magical internets.

I started flipping through the pages of the directory.

Everyone in the ward is listed, with their first and last names, phone numbers, addresses and pictures. Some people don't have pictures, some don't have phone numbers... but everyone is listed with some of the info.

Then I saw it.

My name. My address. Including my apartment number.

I was pissed.

If I want people to know where I live I will let them know, thank you very fucking much. Guess what else was listed? My birthday. Why the hell do a bunch of strangers need to know my birthday? So they can show up at my place to fellowship me with messages from Jesus? They *can* now thanks to the people who decided to publish my personal information without my permission.

I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not really.

Just mad.

Andee

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Last night I was browsing through YouTube looking for those amazing infomercial clips and I came upon what I refer to as childhood GOLD.

Better than gold.

Platinum.

I was pretty much a child of the 80's. I wore florescent colors, bright sunglasses, I watched shows like "Small Wonder" and "Rainbow Brite."





I thought I would take a trip down memory lane and visit some of the clips and commercials of my childhood. Being a kid was so much fun.

First, we have Princess Lip Gloss Lockets. I never had a Princess Lip Gloss Locket, but that was because my parents thought I was too young to be wearing "makeup." I use quotations there because I believe that if you scientifically studied the contents of Princess Lip Gloss Lockets you would probably find an ingredient in there that would kill you.



Mr. Mouth. My neighbor had this and we broke it... I love the tag line:

"He just can't keep his big mouth shut!"

Connect Four is still one of my favorite games. I wont apologize for this. I refuse. It's fun.



Showbiz Pizza!

I celebrated many a birthday at Showbiz Pizza. The older I got, the creepier the "band" got...



New Kids on the Block. Who is their number one fan?

I AM!!



Santa brought me a Lite Brite when I was a kid. I think I lost every single one of those little colored plastic thingies that you punched into the board. One time, I remember hearing my Dad say something like, "If I step on another one of these....!!!"

Yeah.



Next, we have My Buddy and Kid Sister.

I didn't have one of these either, but before even watching the retro commercial I easily recalled the music and lyrics to both commercials. Can you?

Don't cheat. God doesn't like cheaters.



Teddy Ruxpin.

I don't think I need to say any more... do I?



I had every one of these glasses... and that is an amazing feat for someone who lived an hour away from the closest McDonald's... not kidding... I lived in the boonies. No traffic lights. I still have no idea how I pulled off the collection... and I don't remember what happened to the glasses, either. I assume they are broken shards of glass sitting in a landfill in western Utah. How sad.



I didn't recognize this next commercial until the very end, but this is another example of a jingle I will remember forever...



Not The Mama!!

If you don't know what I am talking about, you have never seen the television show "Dinosaurs" that was a part of ABC's TGIF lineup... right after Family Matters if I am not mistaken.

Damn, I watched a lot of television.





Perfect Strangers. A classic.



There are a million other commercials I wanted to add, but this post has already been too long. Maybe one of these days I will blog about more of them.

Until then, I will leave you with this:



If My Two Dads were on the air today, people would automatically assume that the Dads were romantically involved with each other. Conservatives would be freaking out that "the gays" were starring in their own television show marketed for kids. Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck would be losing their minds. It's sad, but true.

Sweet Jesus, I hate Bill O'Reilly.

Andee

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Divine Inspiration.

I was taught as a little girl that if I believed in God and kept the commandments the holy spirit would guide me through life. This was made even clearer when I turned 8 and was baptized with the spirit of the Holy Ghost. I was afraid of ghosts, but this one was holy... so that was okay.

It goes even deeper than that, though...

When young men get "blessed" with the "powers" of the Priesthood, they are given a closer connection to God. This is one of millions of reasons why women don't hold positions of authority over men, we are not as good at getting revelation because we don't have penises.



The Priesthood holders (aka penis holders) have tons of "responsibilities." They have to give blessings to the sick (women can't do this... God only wants men to pray for the health of the church members), they bless and pass out the sacrament on Sundays (girls can't do that either... no good reason why, but we have to trust in Him) and pretty much get to rule the entire church while the women encourage and support them.

Bishops are chosen by Stake Presidents (if I remember correctly) and only after much prayer and thought on the issue. All callings are supposedly divinely inspired, including things like Mia Maid Secretaries and Chorus Directors. These are not jobs, oh no... these are things that God has asked of us through the power of some dude's priesthood.



From the time I was a fetus I was told that our church had a prophet who received direct revelation from God. He was chosen to lead us and he would receive divine inspiration on how to handle things in the church. We should all trust our prophet, as well as our apostles, the 70, our Stake presidency... all the way down to our bishop who leads us through the power of God. We shouldn't question them because that would be the equivalent of saying, "God, you sure? This doesn't sound right." We couldn't do that. God would be really really mad.

So, with these things in mind I want to share something I debated writing about... it's a story from Salt Lake City. Here is a clip from the Salt Lake Tribune:

An April trial has been set for former Lone Peak High School LDS seminary principal Michael Jay Pratt, who is accused of having a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old female student earlier this year.

Pratt, 37, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to 15 felonies: one count of rape, eight counts of forcible sodomy and five counts of object rape, all first-degree felonies, and one count of second-degree felony forcible sexual abuse.

During an October preliminary hearing, the alleged victim, now 17, testified that her relationship with "Brother Pratt" started with chats about religion, school and "life in general."

But on May 1, Pratt, 37, professed his love for the girl, sparking a two-month sexual relationship the girl believed was prelude to marriage, even though Pratt had a wife and three children.

The girl testified about more than 30 sex acts, mostly fondling and oral sex. But on three occasions, she said, Pratt unsuccessfully attempted sexual intercourse.

She said the encounters occurred up Provo Canyon, on the roof of the seminary building, in a ravine near her Highland home, in an empty home, at a hot springs near Goshen and an abandoned mine near Eureka.

First, I want to mention that Michael Jay Pratt is innocent until proven guilty. I do tend to believe the girl and her statements about his actions, however.

So, here is the thing...

Somewhere along the line, God supposedly inspired someone with the super-priesthood-powers to give Michael Jay Pratt this calling. Right? Why would God do this? Why would God want this young girl to be taken advantage of in such a way?

This is not even close to being the first time something like this has happened. There has been abuse in nursery, boy scout troop leaders abusing children, you name it, it's happened.

Did God truly call these abusers to these positions around children? Do you think the abuse happened for some divine purpose?

I know what most members of the church would immediately say when this argument is thrown at them:

"We are human. We make mistakes. We are not perfect, only God is perfect."

I have to agree with you about people not being perfect... but what I don't understand is how you can tell when you are getting inspiration from God or if it's just some strange mind-fuck?

How do you tell if your inspiration is true or if you are messing it up?

How can you trust people just because they are men and therefore have this divine relationship with God?

What good is this Priesthood power if you can't tell if it's working?

I would like to point out that there are hundreds of examples of Priesthood holders in the Mormon Church that were flat out WRONG when they claimed to be speaking for the Lord. Brigham Young said quakers lived on the moon. He wasn't talking as a man... he was talking as the prophet... at general conference... and he would have been pissed as HELL if someone were to have challenged him on it.

It makes no sense to me.

Andee

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I have a confession to make.

I love infomercials.

As Jerry Seinfield once (loosely) said, "There is a time at night when you start to believe these things. At one point I look at my television and think, 'You know... I can't cut through a shoe with any of my knives! I need to order that knife and cut my shoes up!!' There is nothing about my life more embarrassing than the fact that I picked up my phone and uttered the words, 'I would like to order the Ginzu knife.'"

I think it's true. There is a time at night, when your brain is close to shutting itself off that you start thinking about how much these infomercials make sense.

I don't know if it's the female hosts who lack acting skills (seriously, sometimes watching them is like watching a train wreck. It's so bad that you can't stop looking at it!) or their co-hosts who most of the time have an accent. I think Americans immediately think someone with a British or Australian accent is smart and trustworthy. It's brilliant marketing. Sometimes it's the little clips they throw out to show you how their wonderful product will make your life easier.

You can pretty much sell anything you want in an infomercial. Health and fitness products that look fun and "wont turn working out into a chore!" Various kitchen appliances that miraculously do a million jobs in one and clear up all that clutter on your kitchen counters. Cleaning products that use all natural ingredients and work better than the chemical cleaners you buy in the store. You name it, it's out there.

Sometimes the hosts of these infomercials become famous. A household name. Everyone knows who Billy Mays is, right? How about Vince, the ShamWow! guy? Not only is this dude famous for his quotes like, "You'll love my nuts" he also beat up a prostitute in a hotel room not too long ago.



Bam! Bam! Bam! Home fries. Bam! Breakfast to go! How will I live without the slap chop?



I can't get over the name. Nad's. It's so wrong it's right.



The Tiddy Bear. The first couple times I saw this commercial I thought, "WTF??" I don't know about you guys, but if someone saw me driving around with a little plush bear on my boobs I would be embarrassed as Hell. Got my attention, though. The person selling these things probably owns his own private jet by now...

Sometimes the product is for things of a personal nature... and by personal, I mean personal:



I love it when they make the set look like an authentic news program as if people are thinking, "Well, if a journalist is talking about this product on their newscast the claims MUST be true!!" Ha.



Okay, is that one even real?



This Quacker Factory lady makes me laugh every time I see her. If I could use one word to describe the clothing in that clip, classy would be at the bottom of the list. I do love her 80's headband, though. You have to give her credit for being... um... unique.

One of my favorite infomercials of all time...

The Magic Bullet.



Oh, that Berman! What a card!

I don't know about the rest of you, but the morning after a big party I invite all guests into my kitchen so I can teach them about kitchen appliances. I mean... you have to do it. You don't want to be a bad host!

Last, but certainly not least, we have Ron Popeil. His company, Ronco, was everywhere in the 90's. Product after product. Everything from the pocket fisherman to food dehydrator to hair in a can. This guy could sell anything. His co-host in the first two clips drive me nuts... but in a good way. A way that makes me giggle.

Anyone else notice how loud those damn pasta makers are? I swear to Zeus it sounds like a jumbo jet coming in for a landing.







Good times... good times.

Andee

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The comment left on my blog yesterday got me thinking.

Dangerous, I know.

I thought I would express some of the reasons the Book of Mormon is far from scientific and in some ways laughable at best. The same can be said for the Bible, but I will save that for another post on another day.


These points couldn't be made without the wonderful website: The Skeptic's Annotated Book of Mormon. Well, let me take that back... they could, but it would certainly take me a lot longer. :)

So, here we go...

1 Nephi

"I make a record in the language of my father ... the language of the Egyptians." That's a strange language an Israelite around 600 BCE to write in! There is no evidence of the use of Egyptian writing in pre-Columbian America. 1:2

It only took Nephi and his family three days to travel from Jerusalem to the Red Sea. (A distance of 250 miles) 2:6

Nephi named a "continually running" river that flowed from Arabia to the Red Sea after his son Laman. But there are no permanent rivers in Arabia, and there hasn't been since the Pleistocene. 2:8

God made the New World just for Nephi and his family. (For though it had been occupied by the Native Americans for tens of thousands of years, God made it for Nephi, not for them.) 2:20

Laban's sword blade was made of steel, long before steel existed. 4:9

Nephi breaks his bow, "which was made of fine steel." But the technology for making steel did not exist in 600 BCE. 16:18

They come to a place that they call Bountiful, "because of its much fruit and also wild honey." But the Arabian coastline does not abound in fruit or honey, and hasn't for many thousands of years. 17:5

After arriving in the New World, Nephi and company planted all of the seeds that they brought from "the land of Jerusalem" and "they did grow exceedingly." Yet there is no evidence that Near Eastern crops ever grew in the New World in pre-Columbian times. 18:24

Nephi found cows, horses, oxen, asses, and goats and goats when he arrived in the New World in 590 BCE. Yet none of these domesticated animals existed in North America before the Europeans brought them over 2000 years later. 18:25

2 Nephi

In 590 BCE, Lehi and company found the Americas completely uninhabited. 1:8-9

According to this verse, the moon produces its own light and the earth does not move. 23:10

Dragons will live in Babylonian palaces and satyrs will dance there. 23:21-22


Jarom

The Nephites fortified their cities. (Why is there no evidence for these fortified cities?) 1:7

The Nephites "multplied exceedingly" and "became exceedingly rich" in gold, silver, iron, copper, brass, and steel making tools and weapons "of every kind." This was before steel existed, of course, and no evidence for any of these Nephite weapons, tools, cities, or technologies have ever been found. 1:8

Mosiah

Lehi, a 7th century Israelite, was taught in the language of the Egyptians. 1:4

The Nephites had to hand over half of their barley to the Lamanites. But that wouldn't have been a big deal since barley didn't exist in the New World at the time. 7:22

Zeniff arms his people with swords and cimeters. No evidence for these pre-Columbian weapons has ever been found. 9:16

"And of their brass and their iron ... fatlings ... and grain." -- none of which existed in the New World before being introduced by Europeans. 11:3

"King Noah built many elegant and spacious buildings" ornamented with gold, silver, iron, brass, copper, and ziff. Why is there no evidence for these fancy buildings? There were many of them, decorated with gold and silver. Where are they now? And the metallurgy technology for iron and brass didn't exist prior to European contact. But there was plenty of ziff around at the time so that wouldn't have been a problem. 11:8


Alma

No metal coins (ezrons, senines, ontis, etc.) have been found from pre-Columbia America. 11:4-19

The New World in 78 BCE had many temples, sanctuaries, and synagogues that "were built after the manner of the Jews." Yet no evidence of these magnificent buildings has ever been found. 16:13

Ammon had lots of horses an chariots, at a time when neither horses nor chariots existed in the New World. 18:9-10

More metal swords, cimeters, and breastplates, none of which has ever been found. 43:18-20, 43:37-38, 44:8, 44:17

Helaman

The Lamanites (Native Americans) had "an innumerable army" that was armed with swords and cimeters. Yet no evidence for such weapons in the Pre-Columbian New World has ever been found. 1:14

The Nephites "began to cover the whole earth." Yet no evidence for Native Americans of Israelite descent has ever been found. 3:8

"From the west sea [Pacific], even unto the east [Atlantic]; it being a day's journey for a Nephite." (Nephites could walk 5000 kilometers in one day.) 4:7

3 Nephi

And God's prophecy came true! That night "there was no darkness when night came ... but it was as light as thought it was mid-day." 1:15, 19

More talk of horses and chariots at a time and place in which neither existed. 3:22

Domesticated horses did not exist in per-Columbian America. 4:4, 6:1

When Jesus died, the inhabitants of many great cities died with him. Entire cities were sunk into the ocean, or were burned, or destroyed by earthquakes. 8:8-10, 14

For three days after Jesus died, there was absolutely no light -- not from the sun, moon, or stars, or from candles, campfires, or fireflies. 8:20-22

Ether

The Jaredites were Israelites who lived at the time of the Tower of Babel. (Genesis 11:1-9) 1:33

The Jaredites brought domesticated old world animals and plants "of every kind" to the New World. 1:41

"They did also carry with them deseret, which, by interpretation, is a honey bee."
There were no honey bees in the New World before they were introduced by Europeans in the 17th century. (Wikipedia: Origin and distribution of the genus Apis) 2:3

The brother of Jared made 16 small stones, as clear as glass, out of molten rock. He then asked God to touch the stones to make them into lights to light up the inside of the barges. God did as the brother of Jared requested. 3:1-6

"All manner of cattle, of oxen, and cows, and of sheep, and swine, and of goats ... horses, and asses, and elephants" None of these animals existed in the New World at the time it was supposedly occupied by the Jaredites . 9:18-19

"Coriantum took to wife, in his old age, a young maid, and begat sons and daughters; wherefore he lived until he was an hundred and forty and two years old." 9:24

Brass, iron and silks -- none of which existed in the Pre-Columbian New World. 10:23-24

So, yeah...

How is it that Mormonism is scientific?

Science pretty much tells us that there is zero proof the Book of Mormon is actually true. As a matter of fact, if you were not looking at this from the point of view of a person studying a religious text you might realize it's a bunch of horse dung immediately.

Think about it.

Please.

Andee

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Someone just left this comment on WindySydney. I don't post it here to make fun of the person who left it, I just found the comment so funny that I can't help myself from sharing it.

I'm LDS and don't understand atheism--doesn't sound scientific to me. Nice pictures of the cat, though.

Not making it up.

Promise.

Hilarious, no?

I guess to make up for the fact that I posted the comment for the world to see (well, technically they did) I should post a picture of "the cat." Since I am not sure which cat is *the* cat, I will include both.


Andee

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Since this whole coming out of the Atheist closet is new to me, I decided to do some research on the different Atheist groups on the net.

It's amazing how many like-minded people there are out there...

People who think logically and rationally instead of magically. Let me tell you... living in Utah I thrive on being able to communicate with those who really understand me. I am surrounded by conservative, religious people who are convinced their way is the right way.

Their way is batshit.

Yeah, I said it.

The Out Campaign invites Atheists from all over the globe to stand up for ourselves. Don't be ashamed to be an atheist. Don't be embarrassed. Be proud. There are a lot of us out there.

I remember when I was first learning about the true history of the Mormon Church. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me and that my entire life was one big joke and lie. All of my goals, all of my desires were not my own, they were taught to me.

I will never forget the moment when I took a step back and realized, "Oh my God. Mormonism is false, and other religions are not that much better."

I mean, lets think about it for a moment... Virgin births? Burning bushes? Giant arks? Living in the belly of a whale? Magical underpants?

Really?

How did I ever buy this crap?!

Would I have ever bought into this if it wasn't fed to me when I was a kid? Forcing children to attend any form of church is just wrong to me... and I won't feel sorry about that or apologize for it. Kids are not allowed to make up their own minds about things like this. They are taught to believe what their parents believe. They don't have a chance.

I have a hard time explaining the feelings that were going through me, but relief is the best word I can come up with. Relief. I didn't have to be who they wanted me to be. I could just be Andee.

I wish I would have learned that a long time ago.

I think about the nights where I would lay in bed and feel bad about myself because I didn't want what Mormon women were supposed to want. I didn't want to get married young and start popping out children just to appease my fellow ward members and family. I didn't have any desire to be a stay at home Mom. I wanted to go to school. I wanted a career. I didn't fit in with those people, I never did. I thought there was something wrong with me and that I would pay the price for not following God's plan when I died.

Now, thankfully, I recognize this as programmed fear. If I were too afraid of God's punishment I would just keep my mouth shut and fall in line. Hahaha... right.

This post is really going nowhere fast. Sorry.

If you have similar thoughts about atheism and religion, check out The Out Campaign and display your scarlet letter A on your blog proudly. I am!!

Open minds are a beautiful thing.

Andee

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