Mormon Presents!!

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

Last night, while working on my commercial post, I was interrupted by my doorbell and loud banging at the door.

I wasn't expecting anyone, and I was already in my red plaid pajama pants and my t-shirt that says, "Blind Faith! Because Thinking Is Hard!" Needless to say, I wasn't eager to open the door. So... I didn't.

I looked out the peephole of my apartment door and saw two boy scouts with stacks of what looked like booklets and pamphlets. They didn't wait long at the door, I assume because it was already 9 pm, it was freezing cold, and they had a whole stack of booklets to deliver across the ward.

They left a copy of my booklet at my doorstep. I didn't open the door to get it. When my Mom stopped by this morning she found it and handed it to me.

I figured the booklets were for some Thanksgiving-related food drive. So many people are out of work and having a hard time paying bills that I have no problem helping out with that. I would have left out cans of food for the scouts to pick up without a second thought.

But that wasn't what the booklet was.

It was the November 2009 Ward Directory.


I haven't been to a church service in years (unless you count the few funerals I have attended since coming to my senses). As a matter of fact, when I moved back to Utah from Florida a couple years ago I didn't notify anyone. That doesn't matter, though. They found me anyway. They are good at hunting people down, aren't they?

So, I thought, what is the harm in having this little ward directory in my apartment? No harm at all. As a matter of fact, I considered emailing my bishop (I had no idea who my bishop was until I received this little gift) and asking him for a little meeting of sorts to discuss some of my problems with the church... at my apartment, of course. Not in his office.

But no email addresses. Just phone numbers. I could call him, maybe I will, I would just rather send a message through the magical internets.

I started flipping through the pages of the directory.

Everyone in the ward is listed, with their first and last names, phone numbers, addresses and pictures. Some people don't have pictures, some don't have phone numbers... but everyone is listed with some of the info.

Then I saw it.

My name. My address. Including my apartment number.

I was pissed.

If I want people to know where I live I will let them know, thank you very fucking much. Guess what else was listed? My birthday. Why the hell do a bunch of strangers need to know my birthday? So they can show up at my place to fellowship me with messages from Jesus? They *can* now thanks to the people who decided to publish my personal information without my permission.

I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not really.

Just mad.



  1. Rachel Says:

    I'm with you on that. I was joking around with my roommate about the missionaries ever coming over to our SLC house and finding me (a feminist, athiest, fornicater) and her (an agnostic lesbian), then the next day who shows up at my door?? The elder missionaries asking why I haven't been to church in over a decade. I didn't want to argue with them, I told them I was an atheist. That was that. They still show up once a month. I say hi to them on my porch (I don't wanna kick out the elderly), and that's that. I'm still trying to figure out how they found me after all these years...

  1. Andee Says:

    It blows my mind how they don't see how RUDE and ARROGANT this is.

    Popping up at someone's house asking them about their personal religious beliefs?

    I don't even ask guys I date about religion until the 4th date. Hahaha... it's just not something you want to discuss with people you don't really know (in some cases).

    Like women need another "monthly visit" to annoy them.