Windy Sydney

I love food.

Here are a few of my favorite recipes from food bloggers. Just lick the photos for the link to the recipe! I'll even include some chicken recipes for you meat eaters out there...

Know what I hate?

Computer viruses.

Last night I was making a window's movie and some stupid program installed itself on my computer. I was so freaking mad! It kept telling me I had spyware on my computer and telling me I had to purchase some program for sixty bucks to get rid of it. I knew it was fishy so I did a search for it online (it's called AntiVirus Live... stay far away from it) and found a way to get rid of it. It took me a while though... I had to find a free one, start my computer in safe mode, and blah blah blah...

People say that they have fallen victim of this little spyware scam and actually gone through paypal and charged the fake software on their credit cards. I'm glad I didn't do anything like that. I don't have the money to do anything like that... hahaha...

Anyway, I am back and it looks like the computer is back to normal.

Ahh, how I love the websites of internet computer geeks! Without them, I would be slitting my wrists by now. Believe me. I use the work geek with love, because I am one also. I would have lost my mind without a computer.

Since I am on a hating spree... here is a list of more things I hate:

• Tomatoes
• When you can't find a pen
• WhEn PeoPle TyPe LikE ThIs
• Cheaters
• Liars
• Religion
• Being Broke
• Bill O'Reilly
• Sarah Palin
• Glenn Beck
• Bigots
• People constantly popping their knuckles
• Animal Abusers =The sorry excuses for human beings that hurt Abbey Road and Spooky Bear before I adopted them into my home.
• Violence
• Homophobia
• Black Licorice
• When people won't answer a direct question.
• Kent Hovind
• Kirk Cameron
• Ray Comfort
• Loud Neighbors
• People who lack empathy
• Football (It's just men running into each other to me)
• Internet Trolls
• Brooks and Dunn
• Tea Baggers (not the gay sex act, the large group of people who want to complain about everything Obama does just because they can).
• Birthers (not expectant mothers, people who are convinced Obama is not an American citizen and should be kicked out of office).
• The fact that I am a vegetarian that constantly craves meat. It's hard to stop myself from having a hamburger or a hot dog at times. Really, really hard. I know I would regret it, though. Probably cry myself to sleep.
• Donald Trump
• Cell Phones
• People who can't think for themselves
• People who tell me I left Mormonism so I could sin, drink coffee, have sex without guilt and be a crazy person.
• Meeting people who think they know everything
• Being sick to my stomach
• People who throw litter on the ground. How hard is it to hold onto it until you find a trash can?
• When the battery in my camera dies and I see something beautiful I want to capture.
• Ann Coulter
• Wal-Mart
• Parents who have no control over their children, nor do they seem to care
• People who think they are too special to follow the rules everyone else follows
• People who complain about using self-checkout while going out of their way to use self-checkouts. If you don't like them, don't use them.
• Bugs
• Being an insomniac
• People who think praying for someone will actually do any good.
• When people don't dim their headlights
• When people see you in what is clearly a uniform of some kind and ask, "Do you work here?"
• When I find a vegetarian frozen dinner I really like and they discontinue it immediately.
• 80% of the comments on YouTube
• The wackjob who created Antivirus Live and made me waste so much time getting rid of the damn software.

Yesterday was my birthday.

Another year older and another year wiser?

My ordered this little cake for me as a surprise :) It was dark chocolate cake with a raspberry filling in the middle and buttercream frosting. Absolutely delicious!!

I don't know about you guys, but I am a frosting lover and always ask for a corner piece when I can. Lucky for me this is just a little cake and it's ALL MINE!!! *Insert picture of Andee walking around her apartment in flannel pajamas with a happy birthday tiara and eating cake here*

*Hugs* to all my internet buddies out there. I will be updating the blog more after I come down from my sugar high :)

Andee

I think I just made up a word.

Retromercial.

I like it.

Here are some ancient infomercials for your entertainment. Some of these are hilarious...



Did you see the size of that thing? No, not his penis. The size of the microwave behind the doting housewife in the kitchen. It was HUGE!

The housewife looked like Mrs. Duggar, too. You know... the lady who has 8 million kids?



Okay, I don't know a person alive who could make that big of a mess with a hand-held mixer. Did you see that bullshit? Really?

Well... if even a child can use it... and hey... free rubber spatula!



Good God those people love donuts.

The look in that lady's eyes as she takes a big bite of donut gets me every time.

The loving head-nod at 57 seconds in is also classic infomercial behavior. "Gee, honey. Our life is so much simpler now that we have the Donut Express!"



When I first saw this infomercial, I thought, "Why the *uck didn't I think of that????"

Seriously. It doesn't take a genius to think of this. Someone is a millionaire and it isn't me! :(

Edited to add Micro-Crisp!!

Holy Cow!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, guys. I am quite down in the dumps, and every time I sit back and try to write for the blog it sounds like a Debbie Downer clip from Saturday Night Live. I just don't want to come across as someone who is like... "Waaa... Poor me!" I don't want to be that girl.

Anyway, I just caught a re-run of one of my favorite shows... The Food Network Challenge. The challenge is for bakers to bake a birthday cake for a woman who a woman who usually judges the show, and she isn't exactly the kindest judge in the world.

Well, one of the 4 contestants, Stevie Famulari, created what can only be described as a mess. I will let some of the images speak for themselves:


Okay, I know what you are thinking... WTF??? Right? Well, the story gets even better!

When this chef was working on the cake, her kitchen area became a disaster zone. Many of the judges were commenting to the cameras confessional-style telling the viewing public that they couldn't believe the mess. Powdered sugar, chocolate, fondant, pieces of cake, and God knows what were all over the floor, tables, mixers, and themselves! It looked like they were going to need a crime scene clean-up crew to pick up after them!

Not only that, but once they made the huge move to put this piece of crap on a table, the chef said, "WAIT!!! There is more!!"

She walks over to her kitchen area and grabs a bottle of liquor. She stated that instead of birthday candles they were going to use small bowls of liquor and set them on fire. I should also mention that many other things on the cake were flammable.

Everyone in the studio stared in horror as she poured liquor in the bowls and then lit them on fire. The cake went up in flames. They had to use a fire extinguisher on the cake! The entire studio was filled with smoke and foam. What the hell was she thinking???



The images and video are not mine, and the video was featured on CakeWrecks. If you haven't been to this website you are missing out. Check it out!

Andee

Here are some of the things I have been working on...

The first set is some cupcakes I made with leftover fondant. I was inspired by a photo I saw on WeeLoveBaking, and decided to do my own take on the idea. Mine turned out okay, but not even close to the wonderful work done by the original baker. Be sure to check out her stuff!!



It was time for me to try a new chocolate chip cookie recipe, and I knew I couldn't go wrong if I went with Martha Stewart. I was right. The cookie recipe was delicious, and unfortunately I don't have time to search for the link... just look up "chewy chocolate chip" on her recipe info and it should be there for you. For the chocolate cookies I added melted bakers chocolate to the batter and used white chocolate chips.



This set of cupcakes were inspired by Mother's Day. They were really good, and I took a lot of time on them. I really like the quilted design of the first one..

Sorry I haven't been updating the blog as much as I usually do, I have a lot on my mind right now and I am really stressed out. Don't worry, things will be fine, I just have a hard time concentrating right now.

I wanted to share this gross product with you guys because... well... because it's disgusting and I have no idea who would actually eat this stuff. I'm not saying that because I am a vegetarian, I am saying it because it's downright disgusting. Check it out:


It looks like the poor creature was killed and then tossed into toxic waste! How gross is this!?!?!?! Who would eat that?? Who???

These people ate it. Click the link for the story and more photos...

Andee

I have never made homemade french toast before. Can you believe that? It's always been the store-bought-nuke-in-the-microwave type. I found this french toast casserole on one of the many food websites I frequent and I decided to give it a try. I am glad I did!!

First steps is to line your dish with a lot of butter. In the same casserole dish, mix three scrambled eggs, milk, vanilla and cinnamon (or any other spices you might enjoy... I hear banana extract is a nice touch, or maybe chocolate chips!) and then stir lightly so you don't really mess up the butter coating on the bottom. Add the bread of your choice... all I had was plain old white sandwich bread, it would have been a LOT better with cinnamon bread or maybe even left over pound cake! Let everything sit in the fridge for a few hours (some say overnight) and then pop it into the oven at 350 degrees until the the top of the toast is a golden brown (about 38 minutes in my case).


I added a few more pats of butter, a dusting of powdered sugar, and a light drizzle of maple syrup. Give this one a shot! It's great!

Andee

I was busy in the kitchen on my days off:


So full. So. Very. Full.

Andee

I just found a website that made me do a happy dance.

TasteSpotting.com

This website is a recipe-sharing, photo-sharing, inspiration-giving, blog-linking haven for foodies like me. My words can't do it justice. I won't even try. Instead, let me share a couple photos from the site (hope they don't mind).

Lottie and Doof

Cupcake Muffin

Dinner With Julie

Epicurious

Look at what I just finished off...


I was starving.

I had nothing to eat.

I raided my freezer and found an ancient box of Belgian Waffles. My first thought was, "Crap! I am out of butter..." but I didn't let that stop me. Hell no.

After browsing the fridge I found chocolate chips and caramel sauce. I even had a little bit of whipping cream. Melted the chocolate, drizzled over the caramel, and pigged out.

Now I need a nap.

Andee

I have been busy practicing my fondant skills lately, and I think I am getting a little better. I really need to get some fresh fondant, because the crap I have left is old, gross, and crumbly.

This is what I have been working on:


Abbey likes them...

Too good not to share.

Remember those ancient cookbooks your parents had hidden away into some far-off corner of your kitchen? The ones that were so covered in grease and flecks of God-knows-what that you were somewhat afraid to touch them? This website shares these cookbooks with humorous commentary and photos.

I wonder... how did they expect us to eat that?

Here is a small sampling of the website, check it out! My first pick comes from Knudsen Dairy copywrited in 1958. I am not claiming I wrote the stuff, drew the pictures, or had anything funny or amusing to say. All credit goes to:

The Gallery of Regrettable Food.



Surprising words from a milk retailer, eh? It’s typical of the copy, which has that earnest, scientific tone common to the era. It’s as if you have a civic duty to drink milk, and a moral obligation to use the fruits of Western Science:

“Every Knudsen plant represents the ultimate in efficiency and cleanliness. Only the most modern dairy processing equipment is used, and each processing operating is performed by skilled personally under the direction of highly-specialized supervision.” Thereby proving that the imporance of milk can, in fact, be over-emphasized.

Here’s something to think about: that boy is now in his mid fifties. Providing he drank his milk! Otherwise he's probably dead.


Okay, here we go. It’s “Mashed Potato Surprise.” The recipe calls for a special kind of mushrooms: canned mushrooms. Which you feed to the dog. The trick is get him to throw up right in the middle of the mashed potatoes.


I’ve been doing this since 1996, and I’m still stunned at some of the things I see. Meatballs in Pink Sauce. Good Lord. It’s the diluted chili sauce that gives the dish its regrettable hue, I think. If you really wanted to freak people out, you’d serve a whipped Jell-O with an identical color for dessert.

Below the Pink Balls (is that what Tomboys get when they’re frustrated?) you’ll find Chopped-Off Alien Fetus Pods, and that all-American favorite, Unnaturally Bright Spaghetti with Half-Digested Gut Chunks. Dig in!


Criminey. Man. Okay, up top we have another entry in the interminable Fun with Molds series, this being “Cottage Cheese – Cranberry Salad.” This dish is useful only if a guest has a sudden attack of hemorroids, and needs to lower himself into something that sooths and cools. Otherwise, skip it. Below, “Tahiti Pear Salad” with cream cheese dressing. Or meatball sauce! It’s up to you. And finally, “Frosted Lime-Walnut,” which applies a layer of foam insulation atop a bed of celery-flecked gelatin. The item is shown here as it always appeared at the end of every party: one piece removed, probably by the hostess, and the rest of the dish untouched.


Got some of that pink-ball sauce left over? Toss in some weenies!

So you’re asking: what is it with this creamery and the color red? The recipe describes the thing in the lower left-hand corner as “cheese onion balls,” and while I don’t doubt that, I have to wonder about the red stuff: “Chipped beef,'"says the book. Damn - that’s some red beef.

Next, we have The 10 PM Cookery!

First of all, the guys want liquor. They want a pistachio cordial that matches their ties, matches the coffee cups, and matches the salad and the relish. AVOCADO GREEN, the rutting stags demand.

To remind them they're men, make sure to embed a batch of wriggling, erect weiners in a sea of beans.

According to the illustration above, it was not unusual in the 50s for a party to include a friend who lacked a body. No one seems to notice, of course; why, it's Ten PM.

But what are the kids doing? Read on.

Knox On-Camera Recipes


Imagine you're hungover. Deeply hungover. Someone presents you with this - and shakes the plate so it wiggles. Frankly, it already looks like someone heaved into a mold and stuck the result in the fridge. But that's Gel-Cookery!

Here the food seems trapped in a shiny force-field, the individual items looking with sad envy at the olives and tomatoes relaxing outside the hated Invisible Barrier. This dish takes a little more time, because it requires constant Simonizing prior to consumption. But that's Gel-Cookery!

BLECH!

Andee