Windy Sydney

One of my pals from Orlando just sent me an email telling me they saw my blog. Holy Crap. I guess there are tons of people reading this, huh? First my cousins and now my buddies a continent away? Kick ass. I don't know why you read, I am not funny or thought provoking. I mostly just rant and ramble, but Hell... whatever floats your boat...

This pal asked me if I would do one of those internet memes people do on MySpace (I have a MySpace but I haven't logged into it for over a year) and on Facebook (same thing... never look at it). He was raised Baptist, and he is very interested in all religions, so he asked me to do a religious slant on the meme. The original Meme mentions listing 20 things, and I am not super-creative today. 6 is all ya get.

Peace.


1. I daydream about being excommunicated from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I would actually LOVE for this to happen. Bring it on. I have written a resignation letter and I have it printed and signed, but I would much rather have the church tell me I am not good enough to be in their expensive little club.

I daydream about sitting in one of those hard plastic chairs. I will wear jeans and flip-flops, and I will audio tape the whole freaking thing. When they start to bring up the reasons that they called me to a "Court of Love" (Yes, dear Orlando buddy... that is what they call it) I will politely tell them that their church isn't good enough for me. The lies, the cover-ups, the half-truths... and they have the nerve to tell *ME* I am not good enough? Hahaha... oh, that would be a YouTube top hit. I promise you that.

2. I daydream about walking into a random LDS Church during a testimony meeting and keeping track of how many times people use the phrase, "I know this church is true" because it isn't, and the mind control is fascinating to see once you are on the outside.

3. I daydream about an apostle or member of the 70 coming clean about the church's past. Could you imagine the media circus this would cause? I am not trying to be overly dramatic, but I really believe that if any of the other brethren knew something like this was going to happen, this man would have an "accident" if you know what I am saying... and I think you do.

4. I daydream about an official apology from the Church to the people they have discriminated against. This includes blacks, women, and homosexuals. The church went out of their way to stop equality for every one of these groups, and one day they will have to be held accountable for the things they said and did. Excuses like, "It was all in the past" or "It was God's will" are ridiculous. An all loving God wouldn't have any part of discrimination of any kind.

For the record, I am not saying that someone should walk into a church or other LDS structure and start shooting to "make them pay." Far from it. Just in case someone thinks I am making a threat. Nope. Nope. Nope.

5. I daydream about making a documentary about people who leave this church, and about the true history that Mormons don't know much about. I daydream about this one a lot, and I really want to do it. Maybe I will.

6. I daydream about entire groups of people walking out of church in protest of the Church's involvement in Prop H8 and other political campaigns (ERA, anyone??). Nothing would speak louder than the churchs' own members taking a stand. That would be fantastic!

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Someone linked to this on PostMormon.org, and I thought it was amazing...

Read and enjoy...

Andee

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An online friend sent in his resignation letter to the church five months ago. He hasn't received his confirmation that his resignation has been processed, and he is sick and tired of waiting. He went to his old ward website to see if he was listed in the ward directory. Guess what? He was.

At this point he had an idea that might speed up the process of resignation. Here is what he did in his own words:

I'm so frustrated with the Morg because although we resigned almost five months ago, we have never received a letter to say we are out. I believe that they got our resignation, but we can still log into our ward site. Now, someone said that it might be more than one database, and so it will take some time to get our names off all the church stuff - but five months!?! Come on!

So, I took the matters into my own hands a little. Did you know that you can change some of your information when you log in?

I now reside at the address: Joseph Lied

My current city is: The Book of Mormon is Fiction

Did you know that the above city can be found at the Holy See? Well that is the country I currently live in!

Oh, and the name that I prefer to be called is: Marry a 14 yr old like JS

When you click on the ward directory, this is now in place of my given name.

I think it would be great if the print a new stake directory with my updated info!

Hilarious!! Well done, Carter!

Andee

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I did not write this, I can't take any credit for this amazing piece of work someone put together for his blog. I hope he doesn't mind my sharing the post, I wish I could give more credit to the person who wrote this, along with a huge round of applause, but the only thing I know about him is that his name is Tom. Thank you for writing this, Tom!

If you're clicking here looking for my usual profanity and vulgarity you'll be disappointed. This is as succinct a statement as I know how to make about my feelings regarding mormons and the Prop 8 debacle and I'm going to keep it tidied up so that Sus won't have to waste time editing it for me.

Marriage as it is defined in the US is not a religious affair. Nor is it about procreation and family. To wit, an 80 year old atheist man and a 78 year old atheist woman can go down to the courthouse today and get married. They're not asked to indicate a religious preference or to declare a belief in some sort of diety. Nor are they quizzed about their procreative urges or asked to divulge any information about their feelings about family.

There is absolutely no religious requirement or inference in the process of the US government granting a marriage certificate. It is strictly a secular affair that provides extraordinary fiscal benefits to couples who choose it.

Yes, most churches are allowed to perform marriages and those marriages are recognized by the government. Hell, you can even get a certificate online that says you're an ordained minister and some states will recognize that as good enough to perform legal wedding ceremonies.

But the couple getting married are not required to have their marriage sanctioned by a church or a religious person in order to be valid in the eyes of the law. Thus a judge or other city or county employee designated by the state government can perform a marriage ceremony.

You can be opposed to homosexuality because of your religious beliefs all you want but your religious beliefs have no standing in the marriage law as it now exists. If marriage were a religious affair then atheists wouldn't be granted marriage licenses.

But they are Blanche, they are.

The Mormon church is entitled to its beliefs. No arguments there. Those beliefs however are contained within the framework of a tax-exempt religion. And that's where we've gotten into this big mess. Mormon leaders say they pressed members to support Prop 8 because it's a moral matter. But the fact is, the government is not concerned with your morals when granting a marriage license. There is no requirement for a belief in diety or a requirement to state a religious preference or a requirement for adherence to a certain set of morals in order to qualify for a marriage license.

Marriage might be a moral or religious matter in your mind, but not in the government's mind. No matter how you twist it you're not going to turn the government's granting of a marriage license into a religious affair. It's not there. And by Constitutional law the US government cannot discriminate against a designated class of people.

Beaglie can come on and spew her anti-gay venom all she wants. Doesn't bother me. (What a waste of life's precious moments though.) But her personal feelings about homosexuality aren't the issue. The Constitution provides for equal protection under the law and right now gays are the only US citizens being discriminated against when it comes to marriage rights in this country.

If there were some foundation in fact for marriages being defined as religious then we'd be having a different conversation. But there is no foundation for marriage being defined as a religious matter. It isn't there. So the courts will always keep coming back to the US Constitution where there is no provision for discrimination against a person because of their sexuality.

The US Supreme Court will always refer back to the US Constitution where all controversies and disagreements are eventually settled. If the Constitution had been written with a proviso saying "everybody except the gays" then religionists would be sitting pretty right now.

But it ain't there Dorothy, it just ain't there.

Mormonism was wrong to venture once again into a political matter. But even worse was to wage a campaign that was based almost entirely on lies. For example, no church will ever be required to perform weddings it doesn't want to perform. Catholicism and Judaism have been refusing to perform interfaith marriages forever. And they still are allowed to legally refuse to perform a marriage they don't want to perform, even in Massachussetts where gay marriage has been legal for several years.

Mormons were receiving letters and emails stating that if the gays were allowed to continue getting married in California that the church's tax-exempt status would be revoked and that they'd have to stop performing marriages in the temples because they'd be required by law to perform gay marriages there. Extraordinary absurdity but as we all know, mormons drink the kool-aid when they're told to.

On so many levels the mormon involvement in Prop 8 was wrong. Mormons made their choice and now they will deal with the consequences as best they can. My twin chose to support Prop 8 with his time and money. He made his choice and now he will have to live with the consequences of losing his twin brother.

I have a rage inside of me that I've never felt before in my life. I have lived with this horrible mormon thing for most of my life and kept my cool and done all I could to maintain civility in the face of so much abuse. Those days are over and the gloves are off. My gay brothers and sisters and our straight allies are ready to fight back.

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I added my resignation letter to the signingforsomething.org website a few minutes ago. It feels really good.

In case anyone doesn't know, there are tons of people who feel it necessary to resign their membership from the Church because of the church's involvement in the Proposition 8 battle in California. If you would like to resign, or add your name to the list of people who have already resigned due to the church's stance on homosexuality or gay marriage, please go to the signingforsomething.org page and help us out!

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A friend of mine on PostMormon.org gave me permission to share a letter he wrote to his bishop about Proposition 8 and the blackmail tactics used in a recent letter meant to scare businesses into donating equal money to the Prop 8 campaign.

Here is his awesome letter:

Dear Bishop xxxxxxx,

Several days ago, the Yes on 8 campaign sent out letters to businesses that had donated substantial amounts to Equality California. These letters were sent via certified mail and signed by the Executive Committee of ProtectMarriage.com. In this letter, they have stated that they will publish any business that has donated to No on 8 unless they make an equal contribution to Yes on 8 to “correct the error” that these businesses made. Exactly what was their error?

It surprises me that the Yes on 8 campaign doesn’t know that donations made to Equality California is already public information? How else did they find the list so easily themselves? Did they honestly think that there would be a positive outcome of threatening businesses using scare tactics that have become so commonplace in their campaign? ProtectMarriage claims that many of these businesses clients support traditional marriage and by having their business names published, they will lose business. Do they not understand that this is blackmail? Of course they do.

If you take note to one of the letters that was sent out, you will notice that there are four signatures at the bottom. They are as follows: Ron Prentice, Yes on 8 campaign chair; Edward Dolesji, executive director of the California Catholic Conference; Andrew Pugno, attorney for the Yes on 8 campaign…and Mark Janssen, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In the past three months, the church has used their members to fund millions of dollars into the Yes on 8 campaign, pressuring them to donate their time, energy, and money to the cause, while openly spreading lies and half-truths in an attempt to win support for the proposition. Let me ask this…has the increasingly large number of divorces and domestic disputes in America as well as around the world caused children to grow up outside the bounds of traditional marriage? Absolutely, so why has the church not called it’s members to these and other more worthwhile causes like the war on drugs? With the $26 Million Dollars raised, over 8,600 wells could be built in Africa or 6.5 Million mosquito nets purchased for the thousands of children dying of malaria every day.

I say, shame on Mark Jansson, and shame on President Monson for allowing the use of intimidation, blackmail, and extortion as their own propaganda tools. I have spoken with many members, like myself, who are appalled and offended with the attitude that the church has taken on this and other recent events. I am requesting that President Monson call Mark Jansson to repentance and a disciplinary council for “conduct unbecoming of a church member.” Blackmail and extortion violates not only the laws of the land, but basic principles of Christianity. Is this what Christ would do? The rationale behind Prop 8 is the equivalent to why white people didn’t want black people to drink from their drinking fountains or enter into interracial marriage, fear and bigotry. Has American society been utterly destroyed because of these changes in the past?

However, I think much damage has already been done by the church that is irrevocable. Personally, I find myself embarrassed with what the leaders have done and I know many other members who feel the same as I do. I think that many people’s eyes have been opened to the hypocrisy and bigoted propaganda of the church due to their involvement in Prop 8. I would ask that this be forwarded to the First Presidency and into the hands of Thomas S. Monson, but I know that will not happen as they sit behind an inviolable wall beyond the reach of the common member. However, I refuse to sit quietly while basic rights are being fought against. I have chosen the side of equality, what about President Monson and yourself?

Sincerely,

"Freeway"

I love the way Freeway was able to get the point across, and soon after he put this letter under his bishop's door, he received a phone call from the bishop asking for a meeting.

Oh, goody.

Here is a brief re-cap from Freeway himself about what happened at the meeting:

OK, so the bishop just left. We got pretty much to the point of the visit right away. He stated that the SP wanted him to come over even before the "under the door" letter arrived.

As we started to talk, he was really digging at where we stood with the church. I told him that we did not believe the church to be the one and only true church and that so much of the history of the church is white washed and dumbed down for the common member. We went back and forth as he kept trying to say the resources we had were anti-mormon, of course that is when we said that most of the things we read did in fact come from the church's current and past teachings.

I started talking about my mission and how I was forced to push Prop 22 propaganda down people's throats while tracting. He was a bit taken a back by that. He wasn't sure what to think... "You did that?" uhhh yeah. We talked about Prop 8 and our issues with it. I told him how I felt it was my duty to rectify what I had previously done on my mission, which was to enforce the church's bigotry.

We brought up some of the original topics such as Joseph and the Amazing Colored Peepstone. I mentioned how it was not a direct translation and surprisingly, he agreed. He stated that it was a translation of sorts, not from one language to another. Not sure what that means.

We also brought up the fact that there is no transparency in the finanical records of the church. I asked him to show me the church's budget, but he replied was strictly confidential. When I asked him why, he said he was sure there were good reasons. Ha. I figure there are good reasons too. We also talked about the mall in SLC and the funding used for it, he assured us it wasn't from thithing, but he couldn't be sure. It sounded like one of GBH's "I don't know" statements.

He then decided to take a different approch and warn us of the dangers of not blessing our child and by not attending church. By doing so, we were breaking link for all of our future children and their children to be taught the gospel (brainwashed). Little did he know... that's the whole point! He probed us several times about blessing our baby. He even went as far as to say that if we died in a car accident, he wouldn't be blessed! After we told him that we didn't want to bless him in a church we didn't believe was true, he asked if we wanted to just put his name on the records. My kick ass wife said, "I'm not prepared to do that".

Also, I don't think that they are doing so well in our ward, he pushed us several times to pay tithing. Saying that we had to go to church and pay a full tithe in order to know if the church was true because God would only let us know if we were keeping the commandments. I replied with "Well, thats assuming the church is true," his face was priceless.

In the end, I think he pretty much understands that we aren't coming back. He left us saying that he hoped that we would think about the things he talked about (blessing our baby-gotta add to those numbers- and paying tithing) I don't think we will be doing either any time soon.

I love how the bishop did his best to get them to pay tithing. What the hell? You can only tell if the church is true if you pay your tithing? How flimsy is that? I actually laughed out loud when I read it, and roomie came out of his bedroom to see what was so funny.

Thanks to Freeway for letting me use the info. Very interesting :)

Andee

P.S. I have no idea what happened to the formatting on this article. I can't fix it, and I have spent tons of time trying. Sorry.

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Member Records Division, LDS Church
50 E North Temple Rm 1372
SLC UT 84150-5310
Mr. Monson,

My name is Andee *** ******, and I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints my entire life.

I was born and raised in the state of Utah, a place that makes Mormonism seem normal. Nearly everyone in my life, including parents, relatives, family friends and even my school teachers could have promised that the church was true, the Book of Mormon was historical fact, and that Joseph Smith was a really swell guy.

I was taught to obey, trust and respect my church leaders. More times than I can count, I was told that all callings were inspired by God. We should trust the men that God chose to run the one true church.

I never questioned anything. It never occurred to me that everyone I knew and trusted could have it wrong. I knew they wouldn’t knowingly lie to me, so why would I question them? I assumed that they knew what was best, and that I should follow in their footsteps and be an active member of the church. It was a cozy feeling… knowing that we were the ones who had it right, and that all we had to do to be with our families forever was follow the rules and regulations the church set for us.

Sadly, I can no longer place my trust in these leaders. I don’t say that to offend you... as a matter of fact, I hope this letter doesn’t come across as angry or bitter. I hope it’s simply direct and honest.

Before I go into the reasons about why I can no longer place my trust into this leadership, I need to mention a couple things…

As a child, I was taught over and over again that people leave the church for one of a few reasons…

They were offended. This seems silly to me, and it always has. I could never walk away from my entire belief system because I didn’t get along with my bishop or some relief society lady made fun of my hair. I wish church members would give us a little credit for getting over the day to day disagreements that occur in everyday life. This might be a reason for someone to become inactive, but certainly no reason to drop the church completely and formally resign their membership.

They had sins they didn’t want to confess. Have to be honest here, Mr. Monson, this one really gets to me. For the record, I am a good person and I will always be a good person. I have a good sense of right and wrong, and the credit for that goes to the wonderful parents who raised me, not the church…

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I have never stolen a car, talked a senior citizen out of their life savings, knocked over a convenience store or killed a man just to watch him die.

They wanted to sin and not feel guilty. I don’t need a church or a certain set of beliefs to keep myself honest, hard working or out of prison. I can make good decisions on my own. If someone needs a church in order to keep them in line, we are in a sad state.

There are literally hundreds of reasons why I cannot stay a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but those reasons have nothing to do with an error or sin I have committed or want to commit.

I have been a member of this church for nearly 30 years, I went to Sacrament meetings, Sunday School, Young Women's, Girls camp... you name it, I was there. The church had more than enough time to teach me the correct version of Church history, but instead, I was taught a very different series of events that turn out to be 100% false.

Sexism.

There is no equality in an organization that forces women to constantly be subject to the authority of a male priesthood holder. There will be no equality until women can hold the same callings as men.

Gender determines your entire life if you are a member of this church, and it's very stifling to a young child figuring out what they want for their lives. If a young man doesn't want to go on a mission, he shouldn't be shamed into doing so just because he is male.

We should never have to look a little girl in the eye and sadly explain to her why God wouldn't want her to help pass the Sacrament, or why she would never be able to be a bishop. Mothers should be able to bless their own babies. We shouldn't have to have a male priesthood holder hanging around girls camp just in case we need a male's priesthood blessing. This is sexism, plain and simple, and the God I believe in would have no part of it.

Racism.

When I learned of the racist comments made by many former prophets and apostles, my heart sank. These men were supposed to be close to God, they were supposed to speak for Him. How could a prophet of God, or apostle, say these things?

"You may inquire of the intelligent of the world whether they can tell why the aborigines of this country are dark, loathsome, ignorant, and sunken into the depths of degradation ...When the Lord has a people, he makes covenants with them and gives unto them promises: then, if they transgress his law, change his ordinances, and break his covenants he has made with them, he will put a mark upon them, as in the case of the Lamanites and other portions of the house of Israel; but by-and-by they will become a white and delightsome people" (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 7:336).

"And after the flood we are told that the curse that had been pronounced upon Cain was continued through Ham's wife, as he had married a wife of that seed. And why did it pass through the flood? because it was necessary that the devil should have a representation upon the earth as well as God;..." John Taylor, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 22, page 304

"And if any man mingle his seed with the seed of Cain the only way he could get rid of it or have Salvation would be to come forward and have his head cut off and spill his blood upon the ground- it would also take the life of his children."(Wilford Woodruff Journal)

"That negro race, for instance, have been placed under restrictions because of their attitude in the world of spirits, few will doubt. It cannot be looked upon as just that they should be deprived of the power of the Priesthood without it being a punishment for some act, or acts, performed before they were born." Joseph Fielding Smith, The Way to Perfection, page 43.

I could list more, there are plenty of quotes that make my skin crawl, but in the interest of time I am sure you get my point. Again, the God I believe in would never... EVER... have someone like this speaking for Him.

I personally believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints owes people an explanation and an apology for the horrible things said by these past leaders. I doubt that will ever happen, because in order to do this, you would have to admit you were wrong. In order to admit you are wrong, you have to admit you CAN be wrong. In order to put this "behind us" as Gordon B. Hinkley mentioned on Larry King Live, you need to step up and own the mistakes and evils that were made.

Treasure Seeking.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that Joseph Smith translated the plates with the use of a rock and a hat. The story of the first vision and translation have been repeated to me hundreds of times since the time I was a fetus. Never once have any of my leaders told me the truth about how this really happened.

When I saw actual documentation about this, I realized for the first time that the church was keeping things from me. You were lying by omission, and you continue to do that to the believing members of your religion. There is no excuse for this.

Joseph Smith used this same seer stone, or peep stone, to find buried treasure. He was arrested and tried for fraud, and this is important because it shows his true character.

Polygamy.

Joseph Smith was never commanded by God to practice polygamy. This is laughable at best. Why in the world would God ask Joseph Smith to take on other wives, some as young as 14? I can't even come up with one good reason, Mr. Monson. It's no wonder that you hide this information from members of your church! Anyone would be as outraged and hurt as I was when I read this for the first time.

It was not common practice for girls as young as 14 to marry. Joseph Smith told these young girls that by marrying him they were saving their families for eternity. He also claimed that horrible things would happen if they didn't agree to the marriage.

Joseph Smith also married women who were already married to living men. He would send the men on missions, and then seal himself to their wives.

This is a far cry from the promises my leaders made to me that polygamy was just to keep the church growing, or to provide assistance to widows.

Joseph Smith isn't the man the church claims him to be. Not at all.

Proposition 8.

Recently, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has stepped into the political world and asked the members of it's church to donate their time, money and talents to Proposition 8 in California. This Proposition, if passed, will determine marriage to be between one man and one woman only.

I understand that the church feels it has a moral obligation to teach it's members what it feels is important about homosexuality, but when you take your beliefs and force them on the rest of the world, you are unbelievably out of line.

You don't have to like gay marriage, you don't have to love it. You don't have to participate in it, and you don't have to teach your members that you think it's okay. You also don't have the right to determine that for the rest of the people in the state of California or anywhere else.

The church's actions have saddened me to the point that I am ashamed to be a member. I am so ashamed, in fact, that I look back and wonder why I didn't see this church for what it truly was... one giant lie.

I have to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that once I realized that I had been lied to, and that I had to inform my Mother that I couldn't in good conscience stay a member of this church, I feared the worst. The lies you taught my entire family could have cost me my entire family. Luckily for me, she is an amazing woman and ended up resigning long before I did.

The lies you tell hurt people. They tear families apart. They make people feel as if they will never be good enough. If you consider yourself a man of God, you should stand up and do the right thing.

• A mother should never have to stand outside a temple and cry while her child marries.
• A young child should never have to be subject to "worthiness interviews" alone with a bishop behind a closed door.
• A church involved in politics should lose it's tax-exempt status.
• A young woman should never feel it her duty to marry a man just because he completed a mission and she is of a certain age.
• A person should never be taught that if they decide they don't believe in a certain religion and leave, that they will be damned to "outer darkness" for all eternity. Keeping people in your church through this type of fear is cult-like.
• Any member of your church should be able to find and read anything they want about your church without fear of being subject to church courts or other discipline. If you have nothing to hide, stop hiding it.

No matter what, there is a growing number of latter-day Saints who are ready to stand up and have their voices heard. I truly believe it's only a matter of time until more believing members walk away from your organization and learn the truth.

I refuse to stay quiet and watch you lie to people. I will continue to be active with SigningForSomething.org, my blog, and helping other Mormons who find themselves questioning everything they had ever been taught. It's a dark place to be, and I will be there for them.

My father gave me some fantastic advice about those I should trust when I was a little girl. He looked me right in the eye, and said, "Andee, would you buy a used car from that man?"

Mr. Monson, I couldn't buy a used car from you.

I can't trust anything you say.

This letter is my formal resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and it is effective immediately. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and 'discipline'. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently and completely removed from the membership rolls of the church.

I have given this matter considerable thought. I understand what you consider the 'seriousness' and the 'consequences' of my actions. I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings" I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (quotes from the current Church Handbook of Instructions)

My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'. I am not going to be dissuaded and I am not going to change my mind.

I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with respect and with full confidentiality.

After today, the only contact I want from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer listed as a member of the church.

Sincerely,
Andee *** ******

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Well, it's Halloween. I wanted to have my resignation in the main on election day, and I keep second guessing everything I want to say. I know it's pretty silly to do this, because it's not like they are actually going to take the time to read it, but I want to do it for me.

I am going to sit down and write this letter today.

I will have it up on the blog sometime tomorrow.

I plan on writing the letter to Thomas Monson, even though he will never see it. It might do me some good to tell him exactly what I think of him and his church.

Over the past month I have literally put pencil to paper hundreds of times trying to put my feelings to paper. I am not even exaggerating. Hundreds of times. I have notebooks full of almost-complete-but-just-not-right-yet letters. I have decided to stop caring so much about making it perfect and instead just saying what I want to say.

It should feel good.

Election day is close, and I am so emotionally wrapped up in the Proposition 8 battle I can't think about anything else. People make comments in the break room at work as if they assume everyone agrees on the church's position on this issue. It pisses me off, and yesterday I had food in my mouth when I really wanted to tell some a-hole off. Maybe it was the Holy Ghost telling me to keep my mouth shut so I didn't lose my job. (Yes, that was a joke).

I really don't know how I will feel if the church succeeds with it's discrimination. I will be so angry, hurt, sad, and then angry again.

It's times like these when I wonder why it took me so long to realize the church didn't care about people at all. Church leaders care about themselves, their money, and their power. The lives they hurt daily don't even cross their minds as they write their new LDS inspirational book available at Deseret Book.

Californians, please get out there and do the right thing...

Andee

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Mom and I went to Salt Lake City to be a part of the Ex-Mormon Foundation Conference. We met up with our cousin, Donna, as well as many of the internet friends that have helped keep us sane over the past year and a half. It was an experience I will never forget.


We packed up our stuff in her truck, and started the one and a half hour drive to the SigningForSomething.org petition and letter delivery in Salt Lake City. This photo was taken from Mom's moving vehicle, so forgive the odd colors on the mountains in the background. That comes from the windshield tinting on her truck.


Another shot taken on the drive to Salt Lake City. It was a beautiful drive, the autumn colors were bright and beautiful.


We made it to State Street in one piece, which is saying something because I was in charge of navigation and I have zero sense of direction. None. I am surprised we didn't end up in Alaska with me behind the directions!



It was then time to help with the SigningForSomething.org petition and letter delivery at the COB in Salt Lake City. If you haven't seen the photo essay for that yet, go here.

The SigningForSomething.org event went off smoothly. We were all extremely happy with the turnout, and the amount of reporters willing to take on the story. It was something I will never forget.


We made our way to the hotel, Embassy Suites, and checked into our room. It was really nice... We had a separate living area, bathroom, and the bedroom. It worked out perfectly for us because I am usually up all night reading or writing and I didn't have to keep my Mom up! When I go back next year I plan on staying at the same hotel.

We turned on the television and immediately saw a news story on Chad Hardy and his BYU diploma being revoked. People all over the country are pissed about this, and he has interviews set up to talk about this with the media in the future. I apologize for the quality of this photo, I had two seconds to turn the camera on, and aim it before the story was going to be over. I had little time to get a nice shot.

This morning CBS nixed an interview with Chad because the church pressured them to do so. MSNBC, however, has this article up to give Chad and his diploma fight some decent exposure. Be sure to check it out!!!


We had a small dinner before we went to the "Ex-Mormon Testimony Meeting" at the hotel's restaurant, "The Plum." Eat there. It was delicious. Since I am now a vegetarian I didn't have a huge selection, so I had the apple crisp dessert. It was the best apple crisp I have ever had in my life. If you ever have the chance to try it, do!!! I didn't want to start taking photos in the middle of the restaurant, so I don't have a photo of it. Damn.

We made our way to the conference room and listened to a funny and warm welcome from Sue Emmett, Chad Spjut and Richard Packham. Then, Sue told everyone she had a surprise special guest. I thought for sure she was talking about Andrew Callahan from SigningForSomething, but I was wrong. We were all happily surprised when Chad Hardy came up to the front of the room to talk about his fight with the LDS Church over his calendar and his diploma. It was funny and interesting. He is a cool guy, and I hope someone grows a brain and decides to give him what he earned (and paid for)!

The microphone was open for anyone to get up and introduce themselves and share their experiences about learning the truth about Mormonism and their struggles when leaving the church. There were some amazing stories that made me cheer and cry... it was an amazing beginning to what would become an amazing weekend.

After the introduction we went up to our cousin Donna's room for a family chat. I asked tons of questions about my older relatives and our connection to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, as well as some of the women in my family who have always disliked the church like my Grandmother. My grandma and I had a special relationship, and I would love to think that she is out there somewhere cheering me on as I stand up and scream about how much the church lies to people.

It was really cool talking to Donna, and hearing about family members that I never knew. Donna is an amazing person who left the church in the '6o's after her mission in Southern California. She had a horrible mission experience, and if I can get her permission I will write more about that at a different time.

Saturday morning I woke up excited, and went out to take some photos of the sunrise. I walked up to the parking garage roof and took these photos.

We had some breakfast in the lobby. It was fantastic because they cooked us breakfast to order... it's not just a little continental breakfast. I had a cheese omelette, hash browns and toast. It was really good, and a nice start to the day.

The first lecture of the day was three separate couples who survived their exit from Mormonism together. Each story was different, and they took questions from the audience after they shared their thoughts about staying best friends even though one spouse leaves Mormonism before the other. It's nice to see that not all marriages break up when something like this happens, and that leaving the church doesn't have to break up your family, you just have to be wise in how you handle it.

Ken Clark then gave a presentation about "Lying for the Lord." I learned so much during his lecture, that I took notes. I was trying to be a sponge and absorb all the information, and I know there are things I will forget. Luckily, all the lectures are available online soon, so anyone can hear what they had to say. It was an awesome presentation, and he is a really nice guy. There will be an article about what he had to say later, after I get my thoughts together :)


Mom and I had a quick lunch in the hotel room to talk about some of the things Mr. Clark talked about. We were both thrilled for the next speaker, Steve Hassan, a noted mental health counselor who has personal experience in leaving a mind control cult. He was a member of the Moon cult, and shared his methods of learning to think for yourself and helping family members who are involved in cults. He was a smart and funny guy, I liked him a lot. I plan on writing about his lecture as well in the near future. I plan on buying his books to help me understand how cults and mind control works. It's very interesting.

Mom and I went to see Sue Emmett's talk about her exit from Mormonism and the toll it took on her and her family. She is a strong woman who has had her share of struggles, and I look up and admire her ability to stand for what she believes in. She is good people.


After a short break it was time for the banquet. I think I was the only one who didn't get dressed up for the dinner, but I hate dresses and I refuse to wear one. :) Here are some photos of the dinner tables as well as the guest lecturer, Lyndon Lamborn, who was "Chased out of Mormonism." If you haven't listened to his excommunication hearing, you should! He was amazing and stood his ground. He called his leaders out for not telling the truth and giving members of the church full and complete information.


I won some cool stuff at the raffle, too!


After the dinner I had the chance to meet up with many of my friends from PostMormon.org. I can't explain in words how cool it was to actually give these people a hug and thank them for their support and help during the last year and a half. We pretty much took over the hotel bar and just sat around talking to each other. I had a permanent smile on my face the entire time. It was amazing!

Thanks for reading, it was probably boring, but I will have better stuff up tomorrow after I get through my notebook full of notes. Here is one last shot of me in my hotel room...


Andee

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This was in my email waiting for me this morning:

I'd appreciate it if you had more respect towards other people's believes and religions.I just want to leave you with a scripture from the Book of Mormon. Hopefully it will help you remember all that is true.I don't ask you to believe what it says right away, but follow the instructions that are found in Moroni 10:4.

Hope u read spanish.

"Porque he aqui, si niegas al Espiritu Santo, una vez que haya morado en ti, y sabes que lo niegas, he aqui, es un pecado que es imperdonable; si, y al que asesina contra la luz y el conocimiento de dios, no le es facil obtener perdon; si, hijo mio, te digo que no le es facil obtener perdon."(Alma 39:6)

p.s. my name is Blanca

Here is the thing, Blanca...

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints isn't "someone else's religion." It's still technically my religion, and it's a pile of horse manure. I have the right to talk about the things I have learned and the things I am going through while leaving if I want to.

If you don't like it, don't read it.

I find it hard to have respect for an institution who practices racism, sexism and other forms of bigotry. Your first impulse will be to tell me that these things are not practiced in the LDS Church, and my response to that would be to prove me wrong. Check into why blacks were denied the priesthood until 1978, why women are still unable to hold the priesthood, and why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is pushing so hard to ban gay marriage.

Now, do you see any article on my blog written in Spanish? Have I ever once written in Spanish? No. It's probably clear I don't speak or read Spanish... at least, it's clear to me.

Another thing, quoting the Book of Mormon to me isn't really going to work because I believe the Book of Mormon is a fraud, along with the Book of Abraham and anything else Joseph Smith got his grubby little fingers on... including banks, treasure seeking, and his marriages to other women behind Emma Smith's back. Yes, you are going to argue with me again here, but again... prove me wrong. If you look, you will find the information.

When the church respects others, I will show it respect. They get what they give. Until then, you and everyone else who are so convinced you are right will just have to get over it.

Andee

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Mr. Monson,

You don't know me, but I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for my entire life (29 years).  I was born and raised in the state of Utah, a place that makes Mormonism seem normal.  Nearly everyone in my life, including parents, relatives, friends, neighbors and school teachers, would testify that the Church was true, the Book of Mormon was revelation from God, and Joseph Smith was a really swell guy.

I was raised to respect and trust church leaders.  They held callings due to revelation from God, and they would never lead the Church astray, or ask anyone to do something they felt was morally wrong.

I would like to make clear that my testimony wasn't lost due to a sin.  Many local leaders and friends that I have spoken with claim that there must be something I am hiding, or some kind of sin I want to partake in.  That is ridiculous.  I am a good person, I have always been a good person, and the Church had very little to do with that.  It comes from the wonderful parents that raised me and my willingness to stand up for what is right.  I have my faults, like everyone else, but nothing that would make me cower from the church in fear.

I wasn't offended by a ward member or local leader.  This is another excuse many church leaders throw around in meetings and speeches.  I would never abandon my entire belief system because someone in Relief Society made fun of my hair cut or claimed things about me that were untrue.  I have never once come across a person who has been in my position that left because they were "offended."  It's a way of casting us aside and conditioning others to think that we are being overly dramatic.  Being offended is a reason people might become inactive... but it's certainly not a reason for someone to change their beliefs.

Over the past year and a half, I have been reading and studying things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that were never once mentioned to me in my years of church attendance and I need to know why.  Is it because I didn't "need" the truth?  Because I couldn't understand it?  

Mr. Monson, the church has no right to make decisions on what we "need" to know and what we dont.  Your organization requires nothing but the truth from it's members.  We are told to listen to your council, and obey no matter what... thankfully, people are starting to realize that we shouldn't listen to you.

The Church always taught me to tell the truth.  The whole truth.  Lying is something that leads to more lying.  You can't get away from it.  It eventually catches up with you.  Not giving a full account of events is lying by omission.  You learn very quickly how much you can trust a person when you learn what they choose to tell you.  My father once gave me very good advice about those I should trust.  He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Andee, would you buy a used car from that person?"

Mr. Monson, I couldn't buy a used car from you.

There are literally countless ways I was lied to and decived by the Church, and instead of going over those one by one, I am simply going to explain the reason behind my future resignation. The final straw.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seems to have a real problem with allowing everyone to have equal rights.  Polygamy, preaching that those with dark skin were cursed from God and not allowed to hold the priesthood until 1978, and fighting against the ERA are just a few examples. 

I am ashamed to call myself a Mormon.  In no way are you showing that you are a true Christian or a man of God by fighting so hard to limit the rights of a group of people.  The church's actions in the cases of Andrew Callahan and Chad Hardy show that members are not allowed to form their own opinions or political ideals.

Many of my friends have been vocal about disagreeing with the Church's stance on Proposition 8 in California, and they have been met with threats of excommunication and other discipline.  You are trying so hard to make your members do what you say, that you don't realize you are wrong.

You are wrong, Mr. Monson.

You don't know God.

-Andee

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A continuation of what started yesterday. You might want to read that first...

Racism was an issue for me. A big one. It doesn't make any sense that God would want people to be kept from his one true church simply because of their skin color.

Bishie thought the racism thing was something we would never understand while we were on earth and that we simply had to trust in the Lord and his decisions. Blech. A loving God wouldn't do that. Sorry. Strike one.

Sexism is the next topic...

I told bishie about the time I was a teenager at girls camp and the millions of conversations I had about marrying a return missionary in the temple. The leaders never talked to us about following our dreams, or careers. They spent the most time telling us what our dreams should be. This gets interesting because the bishop has a young daughter. What would he do if she wanted to be an astronaut, or a doctor... or both?

He told me that his own wife worked as a teacher, and that he didn't think it was a horrible thing for a woman to have a career as long as the family life was peachy keen. But, what if she didn't want kids... or want to be married. He was at a loss. He wasn't sure what to say. He mentioned the word "sacrifice" and that all people should consider what is asked of them from the Lord.

Here we have a stand still, because I have never had a one on one visit with God. How would I know what he wants for me and my life? I am a good person, I study, I work hard, and I love the people around me even if they think I am scum. Isn't that more important than doing exactly what some old white guy claiming to be a prophet says?

So... we started on polygamy. Mom was really pissed about this because she has never understood the reasons behind polygamy. She tried. We both did. None of it ever made sense.

"Why would an angel come down from heaven and command Joseph Smith to practice polygamy? "

Bishop replied with, "These are women who were widows and needed help."

Ummm... no.

These were women who were already married to living men. These were GIRLS who were teenagers, two being only 14. What sense does that make?

Bishop kind of went off on a wild tangent for a little bit. He was talking about how men were not as good as women, and that is why polygamy was needed in the celestial kingdom. It really didn't answer my question, but that wasn't new. Excuses are not the same as answers.

Homophobia is rampant in the LDS culture. To the point that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is asking it's members to fight to ban gay marriage, including their time and money. Bishie was not a supporter of gay rights (no shocker there) and said that gay people are more than welcome to be in the church as long as they don't act on their sexual desires with the same sex.

I looked right at him. I had a pencil in my hand, and I pointed it at him for effect. I asked him if he "chose" to be straight. How would he feel if someone decided that was wrong, and that he could only remain in the church if he didn't act upon his desires? He didn't really get it. He went on and on about homosexuality being something that was a challenge from God, something like an addiction that could be overcome.

I couldn't believe it.

I talked about Peter and Mary Danzig, and what happened in their case. Peter simply wrote a letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Tribune expressing his compassion for those in the Gay and Lesbian community. He stated that he was a member of the Church, had served a mission, married in the temple, and was a member of the church's orchestra. He disagreed with the message being sent from the leaders of the church. His wife, Mary, stood by him and agreed with his thoughts and his right to share them.

He was soon excommunicated.

If people openly disagree with the church, they are out of there. I keep waiting to be "invited" to my own court of love. This blog certainly isn't in harmony with their gospel... I would actually enjoy that. Maybe I should scatter funeral potatoes and green jello on my front porch and say, "Here bishie bishie! Come and get me! Bring it on!"

We had to end the meeting because I had to get back to Logan. We could have easily debated all night long, and I doubt the sleeping counselor would have noticed or cared. R.S. Pres. bore her testimony one last time and hugged mom and myself, promising to pray for us. I am not sure why that offended me, but it did.

I looked at the bishop and I thanked him for his time. He could have been home with his family, having a dinner and being together. Instead, he was meeting with me at my request. I appreciated that even though it didn't help a whole lot. He tried.

Mom handed the bishop a huge packet of information that we had found from Mormon sources that we had never been told about. Inside that packet was a copy of her resignation letter... already on it's way to Salt Lake City. She was done. She didn't buy it. She was out. I would have loved to see the look of shock on the bishops face when he realized what he was reading...

I told him that I had a million more questions, and I would love to be able to email with him and continue the discussion. I wrote down my email address and handed it to him, and he shook my hand. I thought it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I was wrong.

Instead of emailing me like I had asked, he contacted my bishop in Logan and sent him to me over and over for the next 3 weeks. So much for continuing the conversation with him... so much for his word. He just passed me off to the next guy. I was more than angry about it. Still am.

Anyway, there you have it. It took me this long to sit down and type it all out, but it's done.

Andee

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To My Mormon Friends:

WindySydney began as a way for me to document the things I was learning about the church I was raised in. It was a diary of sorts, with a way to share my thoughts and feelings about what I was taught compared to the factual historical truth.

Over the many months that this website has been up, I have been told that I was trying to tear the church down and make people want to leave. I have been threatened and called names, and people have even told me via email that I was being led away by Satan himself. I even had to contact the FBI when an over-zealous believing Mormon threatened my life.

I want to make it clear that I do not believe Mormon people are bad, stupid, insane, crazy or any other negative adjective you could throw in there. Most of the problems that I have with Mormonism have absolutely nothing to do with it's believing members. My problems lie within the leadership of the church. I believe things have been handled in a dishonest way, and there is no excuse for some of the things that I, and others, have learned. These are things that matter to us, and we are taking a stand.

Simply put, I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints isn't being honest with it's own members as well as investigators.

Let me give you a little background as to why I came to that conclusion...

I was born and raised in the church. Both sides of my extended family are believing members, and most of them have been believers their entire lives. My immediate family wasn't very active in the church, but my little brother and I would usually go to church by ourselves. We would catch rides with neighbors to church, and we would attend the entire 3 hour block by ourselves. When I was old enough to drive, my parents let me take the family car to church so we could attend.

Attending the local meetings was never anything I had to do. It was my decision. I wanted to go. I enjoyed the stories and the friends. I remember feeling the spirit that so many people talk about, but I now label that as simply a good feeling while being around my friends. I did the same things that you did. I played dots and tic tac toe in Sacrament Meeting trying to keep myself awake, and I remember being so hungry one Sacrament Meeting that I "accidentally" took two pieces of white wonder bread. I didn't have my parents there to plan ahead with baggies of cheerios and fruit loops, and that was okay. It was something that I felt was important.

My brother was ordained into the Priesthood, and he passed the Sacrament. I was even a secretary in the Young Women's group (although my memory doesn't serve me well here... I don't remember if I was a Laurel or not...).

We would sit through every fast and testimony meeting, listening to members cry over their testimonies and share fantastic stories about when the spirit saved them or comforted them in their time of need. We grew to love the people in the ward, and I believe they loved us as well.

When I was a teenager, I went to girls camp. I had an experience there that made me uncomfortable to say the least. I didn't like how the leaders at the camp played with the young girl's emotions to get them to comply and obey the priesthood leaders. It was the first time that I took a step back and looked long and hard at what was going on. I had never questioned anything before, ever. I just simply accepted that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, and that the Mormon Church was the only true church on the planet. Hell, I had everyone in my life telling me the church was true, including my own school teachers.

I began to skip church every once in a while, and my little brother did as well. We were always pretty close, and I was fairly open with him when he asked me why I wanted to skip church on a certain day. He is the example of a person who doesn't judge others when they make decisions he doesn't agree with. He never made me feel bad, not once. He is good people.

Anyway, I eventually became the pet project of my Young Women's leader. She was one of those super-over-the-top Mormons. She lived, ate, and breathed the church. She would stop by my house before Wednesday night activities and ask me if I needed a ride, and I would politely tell her no, that I wasn't going. She would then stop by on the way home with treats that the girls had made like cookies and brownies. They would tell me how much they "missed" me. Thing is... they didn't need to miss me. They knew where I lived, I went to the same school, they never once talked to me in the halls. It was obvious that they were trying to get me back to church, period. It had a feeling of being extremely fake.

I did go to activities a couple times when my brother needed a ride. When I was there, the activities seemed to focus on what the Young Women should and shouldn't do with their lives. You should marry in the temple, you shouldn't marry a man unless he has served an honorable mission. You should have children and raise them in the church, you should devote your life to your family and put off any career goals that you might have.

I was often asked to share my testimony, especially when I was at camp. I was never one to open up and talk about what I believed and what I didn't believe (boy... that has certainly changed, hasn't it?). I thought it was somewhat offensive that they wouldn't take no for an answer, but they eventually had to.

I graduated from High School in 1997, in an extremely small town in Utah. My class had 17 kids in it, and I am still proud to say that I graduated with honors. I worked hard for that little gold sash! I loved learning, I loved reading, and most of all... I loved life.

Not long after graduation, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. When the doctors finally found out that the problem was cancer and not an over-active gland that they had first thought, they only gave him three days to live. It was harsh. None of us were expecting it, most of all my Dad. He was extremely healthy. He would go running or go to the gym on his lunch breaks from work. It pretty much turned my world upside down. It did the same to my Mom.

Unfortunately, my Dad passed away 4 months later after many surgeries and treatments. He was an amazing man, and I am lucky to have been a part of his life. My Mom started going back to church, she felt that she needed to get the family sealed together so that we could be together forever. She met with the local bishop, she started to obey the word of wisdom, and she attended church every single Sunday.

During this time I moved to Orlando, Florida to work in the hospitality industry. I was approached by missionaries many times, sometimes my Mom sent them to me. She was doing everything she could to prove that she was worthy to be with my Dad again. She wanted us all together... I get that. I don't fault her for it. Most of the time I politely told the Sister Missionaries that I wasn't interested in the church at this time in my life. They understood, and left. They usually stopped by every few weeks, which drove my roommates bonkers. None of them were raised Mormon... as a matter of fact, none of them had ever even met a Mormon in their life before me.

The frequent trips started many conversations about Mormonism with my peers. They had the obvious questions about polygamy and temples. I wasn't an active member, but I was always the first to defend the religion. I made sure that everyone knew that polygamy was simply in the past, and that the temple ceremonies were simply too sacred to talk about. Those answers are pretty much word for word what was told to me when I asked them. I hear those answers on this blog daily.

Now... the moment of truth.

It seems pretty silly that a South Park cartoon shook me as much as it did... but it's the truth. I watched the cartoon version of Joseph Smith put a seer stone into a top hat, shield out the light, and translate the plates to his scribe. I watched that cartoon with my roommates, and I couldn't believe how the writers of the show got things so horribly wrong! Joseph Smith used the urim and thummim to translate! Not a stone in a hat! I was upset and offended. I made sure everyone in the room knew that it didn't happen that way.

I was wrong. It did happen that way.

It wasn't until I moved back to Utah, a year ago, that I took the time to research what exactly happened when Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon. I couldn't believe that what I was taught as a child was so drastically different from the historical truth. I was lied to. Why wasn't I taught the truth? Why were you not taught the truth?

I contacted my Mom about the many questions that I had about the church and it's history. She wasn't as active as she was when my Dad passed away, but she was certainly still a believer. I told her what I had learned about the seer stone, and she had no idea what I was talking about. She had never learned that story in her entire life... and we are talking about a woman who was raised strictly in the church for 56 years! We made a promise to each other that we would both read scriptures, as well as research credible historical truths about the church's history.

We both quickly came to the conclusion that there were many things being kept from the general membership that painted the church in a negative light. Among these things are:

• Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon with a Peep Stone in a hat.
• Joseph Smith hid polygamy from his wife, Emma, for a very long time.
• Joseph Smith married women who were already married to living men.
• Joseph Smith married 2 fourteen year old girls.
• The Book of Abraham was a complete fraud.
• The Church openly kept those with dark skin from holding the Priesthood because the church believed they were cursed by God.
• Issues with Blood Atonement.
• Anyone who openly discussed problems with doctrine was excommunicated.
• Gordon B. Hinkley went on national television telling people that we didn't teach that men became Gods. Why? We definitely teach that, at least... it was taught to me and others...

My Mom and I were in shock for a couple weeks. I never set out to hurt her, or to bring her out of the church. She made that decision before I did. She resigned a few months ago, while I am still technically a member of the church. We found that once we took a step back and looked at some of the doctrine we once believed in, it looked different. We didn't buy it anymore. We started asking questions like:

• Why couldn't women hold the priesthood?
• Why the need for temple names if God knows us and loves us so much?
• Why does a woman need a man to get to the celestial kingdom?
• How could an openly racist man be a prophet of God?
• Would God really want a church to spend 2 billion dollars on a shopping mall instead of feeding, clothing and giving medication to the poor?

There are many, many more questions... but you get the idea. Our whole belief system is shattered. We don't know what to believe anymore.

I respect that many people out there believe in Mormonism. Many of my family members have disowned me completely because I am open about my apostacy. I truly believe that everyone has the right to know the truth... the real truth... about the past.

• I believe investigators should know how the Book of Mormon was truly translated.
• I believe that women are not equal to men in the church. Women are always serving under a priesthood holder, and therefore not equal.
• I believe that the church makes the ideal temple marriage seem like a fairy tale that is never quite what you think it will be.
• I believe investigators should know about the past comments made by prophets of the Mormon church regarding African Americans and other races.
• I believe that no one should have to go through the pain I went through when I realized that I was lied to.
• I believe that we should never force others to live by our rules. This applies to the recent involvement in the proposition 8 amendment in California. The church should stay out of it. Limiting someone else's civil rights is hateful.
• I believe that talking about the temple ceremonies is something that should happen, because people are too afraid to stand up and say, "Oh, wow... what the hell was that?"
• I believe that kids are indoctrinated into the church early... especially when their parents pull them to the front of testimony meeting and whisper in their ears what they should say. It makes me sick to my stomach.
• I believe that humor is a good way to deal with things that are so serious. Lighten up. It won't kill ya. Promise.
• I believe that missionaries deserve more than 4 dollars per day for food AND personal hygiene while away from their homes.
• I believe that what we know and think of the past prophets isn't the truth, it's whitewashed information that is easy to believe.
• I believe that the term, "He is just a man," referring to a prophet of God making a major mistake doesn't fly. If you believe he is a prophet of God, he isn't just a man... is he?
• I believe that the money going into building temples around the world could be used to feed and clothe the poor. Save lives. Help people. Who needs the finest of marble in the temple? Does God really care about that? I wouldn't think so.
  

You don't have to believe me. You don't have to agree with anything I say. I just want you to know that this is simply how I feel, and I have every right to feel this way. My feelings are valid, and I will continue to share them on the blog. There are people out there just like me who need someone to talk to, they need a friend. I will be there for them.

The amount of hate mail I receive daily is a constant reminder of how much of a hold the church has on it's members. I don't agree with the church, and I never will. I am not going anywhere. Sending me horrible notes about how my Heavenly Father is disappointed in me, and that I will burn in hell shows more about your character than mine. It really does.

I am not a bad person. I am not an evil person. I don't sleep around with random men in exchange for drug money. The main reason I am here talking about this stuff is because my morals won't let me let this go. I have to stand up and make a difference.

I respect your beliefs, but I don't agree with them. I ask the same of you.

Andee

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I have decided to resign from the Church. It's going to be delivered on November 4, 2008, along with other resignations from the SignForSomething.org campaign.

My letter is going to be long, and it's going to be personal. I am even debating writing it by hand instead of by computer to make it even more personal. I am planning on sharing exactly how I feel about each and every problem I have with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I really hope someone other than Greg Dodge reads it.

I know I am in a dream world thinking that my letter would actually make a difference to the men in charge of the organization, they will write me off as a sinner as soon as they realize it's a resignation letter... but it's my goal to make a difference somehow.

I can't ignore how they treat people anymore. By not doing anything, I am just as guilty.

When I am done writing the letter (it's nowhere near done... sorry) I will post it on the blog. It's a very personal look into my life, much more so than just revealing my real name. I am not in hiding anymore. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

It feels good.

Andee

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Today I added my letter to those listed on the SigningForSomething.org website. Here is my final draft of my letter... I have to admit that I spent a few days writing and re-writing the letter, but I finally gave up and just spoke what was on my mind. I hope the letter makes sense, and gets the point across.

It certainly made me feel better.

I am having a hard time understanding how the leaders in the Mormon Church feel it is okay to limit the rights of others. It has happened in the past, and is still happening.

What is so wrong with equality?

I refuse to believe that one group of people has the right to determine how everyone else should live their lives. That is exactly what the Mormon Church is trying to do.

If you believe gay marriage is wrong, and you want the members of your church to believe it's wrong, fine... but the minute you stand up on your soap box and ask the members of your church to limit the rights of others you are crossing the line.

I am ashamed that I once considered myself a member of the Mormon Church. It might seem harsh, but it's no more harsh than limiting the rights of people you don't even know.

In the past the Mormon Church believed that allowing those with dark skin to hold the priesthood was wrong. The church limited the rights of those with dark skin, and even called them cursed and told them their skin would lighten if they accepted the gospel.

The church doesn't allow women the same rights that it allows men. Why? Why can't a woman hold the office of bishop? Why can't a woman bless her own child? There is no good answer, and again you are limiting the rights of those in your own membership.

Now the fight has turned to those who are gay and lesbian. Being gay isn't a choice. It's not something that can be changed, and it's certainly not something that can be, or should be "fixed."

Gay marriage will not hurt heterosexual marriage in any way. There is no threat from anyone here.

I sincerely ask that the members of the Mormon Church take a stand for equality for EVERYONE.

No one sitting in an office building in Salt Lake City should make decisions on how non-members live their lives. This is not okay, and I promise to take a stand and speak my mind on this issue wherever it is brought up in my presence.

I am also planning on resigning my membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, My resignation stems from many issues, including learning about how the translation of the Book of Mormon truly happened, as well as how racist and sexist the organization truly is. This is the final straw, and I am taking a stand.

Whatever happened to loving thy neighbor?

Andee
Logan, Utah

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