Windy Sydney

Time for a rant... sorry, needs to happen.

As I have mentioned before, I have worked with the public for about 15 or so years. Here are just a few things that get on my nerves...


Restaurants...

• When you go out to eat in a restaurant, you shouldn't blame your waiter or waitress for mistakes made by the kitchen staff. Not leaving a tip for the server isn't really proving anything. It's not his/her fault that it happened...
• When you are dining out, remember you *are* are guest in their establishment. Please don't run around (let your kids run around is more like it) stand on chairs, or make a huge mess just because you can. How would you feel if someone did this to your place of business?
• If a restaurant host or hostess takes you to a table that you don't like, don't be rude about it. Just ask nicely. They take you to certain tables because they are trying to make sure all servers get the same chance to make tips.
• Remember that most servers make very, very little per hour and most of their income depends on tips. If you have horrible service it's one thing... but there is nothing stopping you from being generous and saying thank you. "Thank you" goes a long way.
• Waiters and Waitresses are not dumb. If you talk to your server like they are below you, or treat them as if that is the only job they can hack, you are mistaken. Serving is hard work, and 90% of the time, your server is trying to make ends meet.
  
• If you walk out on the bill, it comes from the server's pocket. It's not a funny thing to do, or an adventurous evening for you and your friends. You are taking money out of the pocket of someone who could be a single parent or college student. How would you feel if you went to work and walked out with less money than you walked in with?
• If you are dining with a large group of people, gratuity will more than likely be added to your check automatically. This varies from restaurant to restaurant, and the number of people can also vary... I have seen everything from 6-8 people getting an auto-gratuity.
• If you are paying an automatic gratuity, you can still tip extra if your server did a good job. Keep in mind that keeping a table that large organized is hard work, could you do it?
• If you are rude and nasty to your server, you should remember that they have access to your food. I am not saying that anyone I have ever worked for has done something like spit in your food, but it's just common sense. Don't be mean to the person who has the chance to get even... especially without you knowing about it.
• If you are splitting checks with everyone on the table, or if you are paying for a child that is sitting at a different table, tell the server before you order. If you wait until the last minute, it's going to take some time to fix things on their computer! You are the one who waited to give the info, so getting angry at the person trying to help you won't make matters any better.... or faster. It's not their fault.
• While dining out, remember that pushing tables together without asking first can cause problems for the restaurant. One of the places I worked for was once written by the fire marshal because tables were pushed together and there wasn't a clear path to the exit doors. Also, keep in mind that pushing tables together might mean that you are stealing a table from another server who won't be making any money while you occupy their table.
• If you order a steak or hamburger well-done, don't be surprised that it takes a while for your food to come out. It takes a while to cook! If you go into a place and order before the table next to you, and their food comes out before yours, look at what they are eating! If they are munching on a salad and you are waiting for your fancy-schmancy dinner you should chill the hell out!
• This one seems obvious, but it should be said... if you have food allergies, call the restaurant ahead of time to make sure they have a way to prepare your food so that it doesn't come into contact with the item you are allergic to!
  
• Be understanding. If the place is packed with people, and your server is running around like a chicken with his/her head cut off, you could be a little kinder when realizing you need a refill on your Diet Coke. Most of the time they are doing the best they can.
• Be kind. If you want good service, you should treat the server with respect. If you are rude, they are not going to go out of their way to help you out. It's common sense.

Theme Parks...

• All rides have wait times. You are in a theme park, the rides are busy, and you are going to have to wait. Getting mad at the employees won't make your line go any faster, and it certainly won't gain you any points if you need their help at all.
• You will need to put the cute little stuffed animals you won at the carnival games somewhere while you ride the rides. Seems pretty straightforward, huh? You would be surprised how many people screamed at me when they couldn't take their 4 foot purple puppy-dog on the rollercoaster. No, I am not kidding.
• If you see a fence, don't go past it. Fences are there for your safety. If you get caught going through a fence that states guests should keep out, you will probably get escorted out by security. Don't be stupid.
• If you are going to see a show, make note of the time the show starts and try to be there 15 minutes early. If the show takes place inside with a dark theater, the employees will more than likely have to ask you to come back to the next show because opening the doors will ruin the effects for everyone else. This isn't the employee's fault. If they tell you they can't let you in the show after it has started, they mean it. They can't. Do you think they want to make people mad at them because it's so much fun? Don't you think their lives would be easier if they could just let you in the show? It would. I speak from experience.
• Don't force your kids to ride something they are afraid of. Most employees refuse to put a child on the ride, even though you want them to. Forcing your kid to do stuff like this is really messed up in my opinion.
• Remember that you are on vacation. Take it easy. Sure, there are lots of things to say and do, but how much fun are you going to have if you are too stressed out about seeing everything? Take it easy and have some fun. Remember that you are making memories for your kids, don't make them bad memories.
• Drink water, and lots of it. Seems like a "duh" thing, but you would be surprised if I could possibly count the times I had to call health services because you were dehydrated. It's going to be hot, you are going to be walking around, and you are going to need to drink water.
• Don't ever ask an employee this question: "Excuse me miss, what time does the three o'clock parade start?" *insert mental picture of me banging my head against the wall.*
• Your kid cannot ride on your lap. No excuse or reason should be good enough. It's not safe, and if your kid got hurt on the ride the park would be liable. Don't give the employees a hard time if you don't get your way. This goes for height as well. If you are not tall enough, you are out of luck. Remember that if your kid was to get hurt, you would have wished that you would have listened to the person operating the ride.
• If you are getting photos taken with a cartoon character mascot, remember that there is someone inside that suit. That person is hotter than hell, thirsty, and sometimes on the verge of passing out. Really. If the person escorting the character tells the crowd that the character has to go, be understanding. If you put yourself in their shoes, you might just understand.
• It's very obvious when people are making up things to get stuff for free. Once, a guy told me that some employee kicked him out of a line at the most popular attraction and he didn't do anything wrong. He wanted to be "compensated" for what happened. We are not going to believe stories like that because it wouldn't happen. If you want something for nothing you are out of luck. Everyone else waited in line, and so can you.
• Get a park map. Again, another "duh" but you would be surprised.
• Don't walk up to an employee with a funny-looking themed outfit and name tag and say, "Do you work here?" No, I just really like this ensemble.
• Food and drink will be expensive. Expect it. Not the employee's fault.
• Obey the rules, they are rules for a reason.

Stores...

• If you are having trouble with an item that you bought in a store, and you return it, it's not the employee's fault the item was defective. It's a manufacturer problem. Getting angry and rude isn't proving anything except that you are mean and nasty to people that are trying to help you.
• Keep your receipts! Especially if you buy something expensive! Most stores have return policies in which you can still return an item without a receipt, but you will more than likely get store credit. You are not getting store credit because the employee wants to upset you, it's just how it is. They don't make the rules.
• If you go to a self-checkout location be patient with the attendant at the computer station overseeing the whole thing. There is usually 1 attendant per 4 checkout machines. If the store is busy, so are they. They don't like getting yelled at, and they certainly don't enjoy dealing with angry people. If you want them to help you, it won't kill you to be nice.

I guess it all comes down to treating people how you would want to be treated, huh? Why is that so hard for so many people?

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*Cringe*

*Ewww*

*Ick!*

*Why?*

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A friend of mine from PostMormon.org took this photo while stuck in traffic yesterday.


Here are some quick observations...

First of all, how self-righteous can you be? Not only do you announce to yourself that you are "always worthy" but you have the nerve to make that announcement to everyone else? Do you think we care that you are "always worthy?" Not really. I just find stickers like this arrogant.

Secondly, as alis mentioned:

You know, it's one thing if you have this sort of thing on your closet door, or on you bathroom mirror, etc. as a reminder to YOURSELF to try to be worthy, if that's what you need/want. But it's a completely different thing to put it on the back of your car, to announce it.

My Mormon friends... we know that you feel it's important to strive for the goals that keep the temple recommend in your wallet, but it's not really something to brag about. That is the vibe I get here... someone is bragging.

Someone else, Frank, said this:

I hope Frank is right...

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Recently I was asked why gays and lesbians want to get married. I am not a lesbian, so I am the last person to speak for their group, but this came to mind:

Why do straight people want to get married?

Don't you think the reasons behind marriage, regardless of the couple being gay/straight, are pretty damn similar? Wanting to declare openly and legally that you love your partner?

Why do people assume it's for reasons that are wrong?

I am still shocked by some of the comments I read about this issue, and how truly ignorant people are. Just when you think the world is starting to be a better place, you realize how far we have to go.

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This is the letter I have chosen to share on my blog today. It was written by Lisa Fahey in San Francisco. Lisa, if you would like me to take down your letter, please let me know. I mean no harm in sharing what you wrote, I thought you expressed yourself beautifully.

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Okay, usually I ignore it when people ask me to fill out these meme things on my blog, but I really like the person to emailed it to me... and I promised her she would remain anonymous. This is for you anonymous!

1. I hate it when people use the term, "Hot water heater." Why in the world would you find it necessary to heat water that is already hot? Seems kind of silly, don't you think?
2. I have a fear of eyes. Okay, it's actually a fear of anything touching my eyeballs or a fear of watching someone else touch their eyeball. If someone has to fix a wandering contact lens, Lord Help me!
3. I went to the eye doctor to get glasses about a month ago for the first time in 6 years.
4. I always wanted cats when I was little, but my Dad hated them.
5. As soon as I could afford a cat while on my own, I got one... Abbey Road.
6. Abbey Road was found under a truck as a kitten almost beaten to death on Halloween of 2006. She was nursed back to health by volunteers and I adopted her from the Humane Society.
7. Abbey Road still drinks a little funny due to some of the injuries she had.
8. Abbey is the friendlies of my cats, even though she went through the worst and was treated horribly by humans at the beginning of her life.
9. Spooky Bear was rescued from a cat hoarder.
10. Spooky still guards her food as if the other cats are going to take it away from her. Poor kitty.
11. Buddha Belly was given to me by my brother when his cat had kittens.
12. I am a huge clean freak.
13. I am usually seen in blue jeans and t-shirts. I hate dressing up.
14. I haven't worn a dress in 10 and a half years.
15. Give me Diet Coke or give me Death!
16. I used to believe Sylvia Browne was a real psychic.
17. I used to believe Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.
18. I was once kicked out of Sunday School for trying to debate with my teacher. Where's the love?
19. I love snow.
20. I hate hot weather.
21. I have no idea what possessed me to move to Orlando, Florida for 7 years.
22. I usually eat more cookie dough than baked cookies.
23. I play the flute
24. I play the piano.
25. I sing alto.
26. I used to really want a tattoo, but now I am glad I don't have one.
27. I love the smell of green peppers, but the texture makes me icky.
28. Melted chocolate is yummy.
29. My favorite color is green.
30. It's not easy being green.
31. I hate tomatoes. (another texture thing)
32. I don't like pickles.
33. I stole a hot dog from a student when I was in the 2nd grade. I don't know why.
34. I wish I were independently wealthy.
35. I wish I could buy my Mom her dream house.
36. I wonder if I will ever have children.
37. I think I would be a good Mom.
38. I think my neighbor is insane. Literally.
39. I feed my neighbor's cat more than she does.
40. My neighbor lets her kids climb up and down the stairs screaming and yelling.
41. It's times like these I don't want children.
42. I am very generous.
43. I wish candy was a food group.
44. My supervisor won't let us have water bottles at our desks.
45. I think the water rule is stupid as hell.
46. I love to play sports, but watching on the sidelines or on television bores me to tears.
47. I was the lead in 2 of my high school's plays.
48. I fantasize about telling some of my family members off.
49. My high school gym teacher was a moron.
50. I think Dr. Phil is full of himself.
51. I love the reality game show "Big Brother."
52. I love getting hate email. It makes me smile.
53. I have no idea if God exists.
54. I can ride any roller coaster you put in front of me, but I will cry my eyes out on a Ferris wheel.
55. When I go to PetSmart I always stop to say hi to the homeless cats. (please adopt them, they are cute and they need a home.)
56. When I lived in Orlando I really missed fry sauce.
57. I think George Bush is an asshat.
58. I love all things "retro."
59. I automatically hate anyone that drives a Hummer.
60. Most of the women I talk to in Utah seem kind of "child-like."
61. I don't mean that as an insult, it's just an honest observation.
62. I hate the term "anti-Mormon."
63. I believe in the death penalty.
64. I sincerely believe that everyone should have to work in a restaurant before they are allowed to eat in one.
65. Chocolate and peanut butter. Need I say more?
66. I have never had a cell phone.
67. I am learning to read tarot cards.
68. I love to bake, but I suck at it.
69. I love to cook, but I suck at it (except for breakfast... I make the best eggs! Anyone can make eggs, though... huh?)
70. I really don't care what my co-workers think of me anymore.
71. Talking on your cell phone while driving should be against the law.
72. I have called 911 four times in my lifetime.
73. I have really nice handwriting.
74. I love giving people happy surprises.
75. Beer is nasty.
76. I once learned my boyfriend was cheating on me when he left a Valentine's Day card in my car for someone else. Rat Bastard.
77. I think the girl that is supposedly the mother on the Taco Time commercials is actually 14 years old.
78. I love Christmas.
79. I love Halloween.
80. I think there is too much pressure on New Years Eve.
81. My Mom and Dad always thought I would outgrow my distaste for vegetables
82. They were wrong.
83. I always have gum.
84. I am very patient.
85. I could float around in a lazy river with a good book all day.
86. Self-Obsessed people piss me off.
87. Rush Limbaugh is the biggest hypocrite... EVER.
88. Bill O'Reilly raises my blood pressure.
89. I spend a lot of time laughing at Nancy Grace.
90. The customer is not always right.
91. Anderson Cooper is sexy as hell.
92. Abbey Road just jumped on my lap.
93. I don't drink enough water.
94. Probably because of the stupid water rule at work.
95. I am really boring.
96. Sometimes I have dreams where I am flying around the world.
97. I usually have a dream about a plane or helicopter crashing right in front of me at least 2 times a week.
98. My roommate is convinced that Oprah Winfrey is the anti-Christ.
99. Antique shopping in Amish country is the best way to spend a weekend.
100. I love my life.

There you have it. Pretty boring.

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I decided that since the SigningForSomething.org event is so important to me, I would from time to time share letters that strike me as amazing. The people posting these letters agree that the letters will be online for all to see, read, and use. I hope they are okay with me sharing the letters here, as well as passing on the information they have to make the world a better place (we can only hope.)

If I post a letter that you have written, and you want it taken down, please let me know. I will take it down no questions asked... as soon as possible. If I am posting your letter, it's because your letter spoke to me, and I believe it will speak to others.

Thanks,
Andee

_________________________________________

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Today I added my letter to those listed on the SigningForSomething.org website. Here is my final draft of my letter... I have to admit that I spent a few days writing and re-writing the letter, but I finally gave up and just spoke what was on my mind. I hope the letter makes sense, and gets the point across.

It certainly made me feel better.

I am having a hard time understanding how the leaders in the Mormon Church feel it is okay to limit the rights of others. It has happened in the past, and is still happening.

What is so wrong with equality?

I refuse to believe that one group of people has the right to determine how everyone else should live their lives. That is exactly what the Mormon Church is trying to do.

If you believe gay marriage is wrong, and you want the members of your church to believe it's wrong, fine... but the minute you stand up on your soap box and ask the members of your church to limit the rights of others you are crossing the line.

I am ashamed that I once considered myself a member of the Mormon Church. It might seem harsh, but it's no more harsh than limiting the rights of people you don't even know.

In the past the Mormon Church believed that allowing those with dark skin to hold the priesthood was wrong. The church limited the rights of those with dark skin, and even called them cursed and told them their skin would lighten if they accepted the gospel.

The church doesn't allow women the same rights that it allows men. Why? Why can't a woman hold the office of bishop? Why can't a woman bless her own child? There is no good answer, and again you are limiting the rights of those in your own membership.

Now the fight has turned to those who are gay and lesbian. Being gay isn't a choice. It's not something that can be changed, and it's certainly not something that can be, or should be "fixed."

Gay marriage will not hurt heterosexual marriage in any way. There is no threat from anyone here.

I sincerely ask that the members of the Mormon Church take a stand for equality for EVERYONE.

No one sitting in an office building in Salt Lake City should make decisions on how non-members live their lives. This is not okay, and I promise to take a stand and speak my mind on this issue wherever it is brought up in my presence.

I am also planning on resigning my membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, My resignation stems from many issues, including learning about how the translation of the Book of Mormon truly happened, as well as how racist and sexist the organization truly is. This is the final straw, and I am taking a stand.

Whatever happened to loving thy neighbor?

Andee
Logan, Utah

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Testimonies are so important in the Mormon Church that they devote one service per month just to share them with the rest of your ward. If you don't share your testimony, ever, you are singled out--often in front of other ward members--and challenged to share your testimony during the next meeting. This happened to me several times during my active teenage years, once was at girls camp in front of my friends and cousins. I was offended... and to those who are convinced people leave the church because they are simply offended, that is NOT the reason I quit going to church.

I just never really got the whole testimony thing. I get that the people giving their testimonies are true believers (most of the time) and usually the more emotional they get while sharing their testimony, the more they are viewed as faithful members of the church. Sometimes during testimony meetings it seemed as if I were watching a disturbing soap opera, and the person with the saddest or most meaningful story won the prize. What was the prize? Nothing.

When people share why they believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they are, in effect, trying to plead with others to believe and agree with them. "I testify to you that this church is true, and that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God!" What do they expect people to say or think?

"Well, okay... if you say so."

Maybe I am just growing more jaded, but the more I have people sharing how much they believe in the church the more it bothers me. It's painfully obvious to me and others who have left or are leaving the church that we have been lied to and kept from truths in the church's past. How could the one true church do that?

I mentioned earlier that I had an experience in girls camp regarding me not sharing my testimony with the other girls during the meetings. One of the leaders in my stake walked up to me while I was sharing some watermelon with my friends and cousin and said, "I would like to challenge you to share your testimony with the group tomorrow morning at the sunrise testimony meeting." I looked right at her and told her that I didn't want to share something I didn't have. She was shocked, but then said, "Sometimes it helps to share your testimony to help it grow." Wow. I guess "fake it till you make it" really is a common thing in the Mormon Church.

The next morning the microphone was being passed from one girl to another. They were sharing how much fun they had at camp, and how much they loved the other girls in the ward. They shared how they wanted to marry in the temple to a return missionary. When the microphone made it's way to my ward, I simply passed the microphone along. I looked over at the woman who "challenged" me, and gave her the biggest smile I could force.

How dare someone try to push another into sharing what is in their heart and mind regarding how they feel about the church? I know that people in the Mormon Church have issues with boundaries, and they feel they have the right to know everything about you and your life, but that simply isn't healthy.

Religion and beliefs are a very personal thing. Forcing someone to say something they are not ready to share is pretty damned cult-like. I know some people won't like that I said that, but it's the truth.

Andee

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Coffee is yummy. It's definitely an acquired taste, I still can't drink it black, but I love the flavor of coffee in things like ice cream and cakes. I also love putting in a bit of hot chocolate mix in my coffee and turning it into a delicious chocolate-coffee beverage. It's delicious.

I recently had a comment from a never-Mormon who was curious about why Mormons don't drink coffee and tea. The only reason I could come up with was because the word of wisdom told them not to drink "hot drinks."

Hot drinks should include things like coffee, hot chocolate, hot apple cider, and any other beverage you might come across that warms the mug you are drinking from. Why is it that the church focuses on coffee only?

Countless times during Young Women's activities I was offered a cup of hot chocolate. We drank hot chocolate at girls camp in the summer... we even created little gift mugs as a crafting project. Why would we need to make mugs if hot drinks were bad?

I guess most Mormons think it's due to the caffeine in the coffee. Unfortunately, they don't care about caffeine in other things like Mountain Dew or Red Bull. If the reason for not drinking coffee and tea is indeed the caffeine, why didn't the word of wisdom say "caffeine"? If God is giving this revelation to the saints, why would he make it so cryptic? Why would the saints pick and choose what to follow in the word of wisdom? If they had a cup of coffee they would feel the need to talk to their bishop about it, but a can of Red Bull is certainly nothing you would lose your temple recommend over.

The original word of wisdom asked members to only eat meat in wintertime or during famine. What happened to that? I am a firm believer that you should be able to eat anything in moderation. Too much of anything won't be good for you.


Here is my comment on this whole matter...

If the word of wisdom is to make the Saints healthy, then the Saints should be more pressured to be healthy. Staying away from Coffee and Tea will not make one little bit of difference. Most of the time I sit back and scratch my head thinking, "What the Hell?"

Andee

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