Windy Sydney

Oh, the joys of working with the public.  Most of the time the people are calm and pleasant, but there are usually a couple of people a day that make me detest my job at customer service.  They get to yell and scream at me (sometimes with horrible breath) and I have to just take it.  Stay respectful.  Calm. Cool.  Collected.  It's hard to do when the customer is a complete jackass, believe me.

A couple months ago I was helping out at the returns counter.  We were unusually busy that day, so they asked me to go over and lend a hand.  Being the wonderful employee I am, I told them I would... with a giant fake smile.

I hate the returns counter.  Why?  Because people blame the person behind the counter for everything that went wrong with their item.  The item was defective, or broken when they opened the package, maybe it didn't fit... whatever it is... it's Andee's fault.  It's like people think the employees get together before the store opens and plans to sell defective crap to people just to ruin their day.  Give me a break.

Anyway...

As I said, we were extremely busy, but with two of us behind registers the line was moving pretty smoothly.  A twenty-something young man walks up to me and slams a box on the counter.  Yeah... he was going to be trouble.

I asked him how he was doing because I didn't want to fuel his rage.  He replied with, "How the Hell does it look like I'm doing?"  He took this opportunity to jab his index finger in my face (not touching me, but close) and said, "This God-Damned thing doesn't work and I want my God-Damned money back!!!"  The second time he "God-Damned" he rammed his finger onto the desk to help him make his point.  His face was bright red, and the other customers in the area were starting to stare at him in disgust... probably more for his language than for how he was treating me, trust me.

I proceeded to ask this young man if the had his receipt from his purchase.  He didn't say a word. He just stared at me.  I asked him again with no response.  He was trying to intimidate me, but he wasn't succeeding much. There were times that I have to remind myself to stay professional.  Getting angry will only escalate the problem, and that is sometimes their goal... if they escalate they might get a sympathetic manager or supervisor and get a large discount to keep them as a valued customer.  Happens all the time.

I calmly looked the dude right in his eyes and said, "If you don't have a receipt Sir, I will need to look at your drivers license to issue you store credit."  He kept staring, so I played his game and just stared right back.

He finally reached into his back jeans pocket and pulled out his wallet.  You know those little windows where people usually display their driver's licenses or military ID?  Guess what was in his little window... just guess... his temple recommend.  Yes, I am serious.  It gets even better...

This angry, sullen jackass wanted me to take his temple recommend as ID.  Really.  It's true!  I had to tell  him three times I needed a state or federal photo ID to process his return.  I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from calling him "Brother Jackass" or to ask him which ward he attended or his bishop's name.

Oh, and the temple recommend thing happens alot... most of the time its old people who assume their temple recommend is issued by God himself, therefore everyone should take it.  It's very amusing every time it happens.

Believe it or not, that wasn't even close to being the worst customer or guest I have had the pleasure of dealing with.  Far from it.

When I first moved to Orlando, I worked in a restaurant on a theme park's property.  It was a fairly popular place to take your family out to dinner, and ninety percent of the time we were really busy.

Anyone who has worked in restaurants before knows that there are many factors that determine the customers experience.  They might have had to wait a long time for a table, they might think the host or hostess gave them a bad table, Hell, they might have had a horrible day before they even stepped into the restaurant!  When stuff like this happens to a server, they get blamed for things they had no control over.

One time I was taking care of a table of five people.  I walked over to them, introduced myself with my best smile and told them about the garlic alfredo chicken penne pasta the chef had prepared for our special.  I asked them if I could get them a drink from our full service bar.

This is when the grumpy old man sitting directly to my left made a grunting noise.  What should a waitress do in this situation?  Maybe he didn't mean to grunt? Maybe he was just trying to clear his throat or something, right? Wrong.

He folded his menu and told me I had fifteen minutes to get hamburgers and french fries to everyone at his table.  Well done.  For every minute it took, a dollar came off of my tip.  At that point I decided I didn't give a flying shit about my tip.  He would get his burgers when the kitchen got to them, just like everyone else... and then it happened... He swatted my rear end with his open palm.

I am sure the look on my face was shock, but then it quickly turned to horror and anger.  Extreme anger.  I made an about-face without asking for their drink orders.  The look on his face was smug and arrogant.  I went in search of my manager.

Do you know what it's like to be so angry the only thing you can do is cry?  It must have appeared to everyone in the kitchen that my dog had been run over or I had gotten some bad news from Utah.  I was a sobbing mess... and that made me even angrier, because this asshole made me cry.

I found my supervisor, Samatha, and told her what happened.  She couldn't believe it.  This is around the same time another waitress, Mary, walked in and said, "Andee, table 16 is asking about their burgers?  Didn't they just get here?"  Turns out, he slapped her on the ass, too! She screamed at him hard core for it, too.  He felt she was being rude to him and he had asked to speak with her manager.

Samantha made her way to the table, already dreading her encounter with the dirty old bastard.  She took one of the chefs out with her because it was fairly clear this idiot didn't respect women.  While they were dealing with the fat jerk, I went to check on another of my tables.

Table fifteen was a fantastic family that overheard and saw everything this guy did.  The father, being the outstanding southern gentleman that he was, asked me if he wanted him to teach him a lesson.  I put a genuine smile on my face and I am embarassed to say that I actually considered taking him up on his offer.  I winked at the two kids and told them they were being fantastic with their manners.  I went back into the kitchen and grabbed them a giant milkshake to share... on the house... with extra whipped cream.  Before I gave it to them, I made them promise to never behave like the man at the next table.

I lifted the giant vanilla milkshake with two glasses over the table as they swore they would never do anything like that.  Mom and Dad were happy.  The little boy said, "I wouldn't do that, Ma'am."  What a cutie.  He was something right out of Mayberry.

Around this time security showed up to ask the rude man and his family to leave.  He refused.  He wanted his burgers.  The chef actually told him that he would personally slap anyone who cooked him a burger.  It made me laugh.  He left with a security escort.  Banned from the park forever.

What are people like this thinking?

UGH!@!#@!#$@!

Andee

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I was bored, and I found some stuff that made me cringe... here are a few examples...

Do you like Urban Legends as much as I do?  Most of the time they turn out to be false, but here is a list of the five creepiest urban legends that are TRUE... This is just one example, click here for the others.

Some poor schmuck is committed to his or her eternal resting place, even though they aren’t quite ready to take that final dirt nap. Scratch marks are later found on the coffin lid along with other desperate signs of escape.

I bet this is fantastic for busy mothers who need to pack half a million sack lunches for school. The idea of getting peanut butter from a slice, just like you would get from a Kraft Single, strikes me a little strange.  I wonder if the taste is the same?  Texture?  One thing is for sure, busy Mom's will love 'em!  Go here for a list of stores that sell them.

Like Rachel Ray? She's pretty funny... especially after watching this clip.  She loves her corn!

 This little butter stick is for those who are afraid of knives?  I don't see what is so horrible about buttering your bread or toast the old fashioned way... it's strange, huh?  For more absurd food inventions click here.

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I have been working hard on a letter to send to Thomas S. Monson.  It's not a resignation letter, I just have some things I want to get off my chest.  This is just the beginning, the middle and end are still waiting for edits and other stuff.  I will post the letter as I finish it.

Andee

-----------------------------------

"Shhh... it's a secret..."

Mr. Monson,

My name is Andee (middle and last name removed for the internet) and I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints my entire life. I was born and raised in the state of Utah, a place that makes Mormonism seem normal. Nearly everyone in my life had a testimony that the Church was true, the gospel had been restored, and that Joseph Smith was a really swell guy.

I was raised to trust and respect the leaders of the church. I had been told over and over again that all callings were inspired by God, and that while leaders were human and made mistakes, God would never allow the prophet to lead the church astray.

I have been studying church history for over a year and a half, and there are many things I should have known about that were kept from me. When members would start researching the church, leaders get worried, and now I understand why. There are a hell of a lot of skeletons in the closet, aren’t there? It’s easy to see why members are told not to read things unless they have been approved by the church… the information is too damaging, and you would lose even more members.

It might seem as if I am hostile, and while I freely admit that learning I have been lied to my entire life makes my blood boil, I am hoping this letter comes across as direct and honest. It’s not my goal to insult you, but it’s important you know how much this church has hurt me, members of my family, and an extended group of new friends.

Let me start off by saying that I have no left the church because a fellow Mormon insulted me or hurt my feelings. This excuse is often given in talks during Sacrament Meeting or General Conference. I have heard the phrase “must have been offended” more times than I could possibly count. Give us a little credit, we are not going to drop our entire belief system because someone made fun of a hair cut or talked behind out backs… it might be a reason for people to become inactive, but not a reason for people to officially resign. 

I have not sinned, I am not covering up a sin, and I am capable of making positive decisions in my life without the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have never knocked off a liquor store, I have never done drugs, and I have never killed a man just to watch him die. Many believing members of the LDS Church convince themselves that people like me leave the church because we have done something wrong and we can’t handle the guilt. This is simply unfair and untrue.

Leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints wasn’t an easy decision to make. It’s not like I woke up one morning and decided I needed a change.

The decision to leave, and to be open and honest with people when they ask me why I left, has cost me greatly. Friendships are strained, family members have completely cut me out of their lives (including my Grandfather’s wedding that I wasn’t invited to). I am suddenly viewed as someone who has walked away from them and their “eternal family.” I know my decision to leave hurt them, but I am in a no-win situation here. I have decided to follow my code of ethics and to step away from an organization that has lied to me, fought against equal rights more than once, and still lies to it’s members and investigators.

Learning that I was lied to by the very people I trusted the most hurt me more than you could possibly believe. Mormonism has always been a part of who I was, and I had to find myself all over again. Luckily, I quickly learned that it wasn’t the church that made me a good person, and that I held the keys for happiness in my life. It was a scary situation in the beginning, Mr. Monson. I knew that many of the people I loved would turn their backs on me, and they did. The only thing about me that has changed is my belief in the church, and my willingness to talk about it when asked.

I am not the one who lied. I am not the one sharing untrue versions of history… yet I am the one paying the price. It’s funny how taking a stand makes you stronger. If my family and friends want to forget me because I can’t trust the church’s leadership, then they don’t know the meaning of unconditional love.

I am planning on going into detail as to what led me to believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints isn’t what it claims to be. It would mean a lot to me if you would take the time to read this letter in it’s entirety. The decisions you make hurt people, and I am trying my best to help you understand how much it hurts, and how deep those wounds go.

For the record, I have spoken with missionaries, family members, friends, and even my Mother’s ex-Bishop. I have re-read the Book of Mormon prayerfully, fasted, and prayed some more. I have read almost every single apologetics response. None of those things changed the facts. One bishop told me I needed to have more faith. I refuse to put faith into an institution that doesn’t believe in equal rights and lies.

The first time I realized that I wasn’t taught the truth from the Church was when I learned about Joseph Smith translating the golden plates with a seer stone in a top hat.  

As a child, I was taught by many different leaders that Joseph Smith would use a sheet or blanket to shield the plates from the scribe. We were told that God and Jesus didn’t want Joseph to show the plates to anyone else because they were worth so much, and valuable in more than one way. I even remember hearing that if anyone besides Joseph saw the plates something horrible would happen. It was for this reason that Joseph kept the plates hidden.

Imagine my reaction when I learned the plates were not even in the room at the time of translation on many accounts… My first thought was this: “Why were the plates even necessary at all if Joseph didn’t need them for the Book of Mormon?” What was the point? Why the mention of the Urim and Thummim if they were not used?

Mr. Monson, there are even paintings and illustrations used in every ward house that show the translation in an untrue manner. Why? Why don’t you show how it really happened? Why do people outside of the church know more true church history than those inside the church? 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints expects nothing but complete honesty from it’s members, and those who make decisions as to what is taught in church classrooms should be held to the same standard. Not telling the complete truth is the same as telling a lie.  

When I learned about the seer stone, or peep stone as some call it, I was surprised and I wanted to learn more. I did.

Joseph did more with that seer stone than translate. When I asked a local bishop about Joseph’s treasure seeking claims, the bishop told me that there was no proof that Smith had tried to con anyone. The arrest records are available online, and not from so-called “Anti-Mormon” websites. Should a prophet of God be doing things like treasure seeking? It’s evident that he did, and he wasn’t very good at it.

Was Joseph Smith an honest man?

When I realized that I wasn’t told the truth regarding the translation of the Book of Mormon, I thought I should look at things a little more closely.  

When I think back to the time of my childhood, I can recall images of Joseph kneeling to help a crying child. I remember the story about his leg surgery and how he wouldn’t drink any alcohol to numb the pain. There are more stories, as you are aware, that are designed to share how wonderful Joseph Smith was… but is that an honest picture?

Everyone is aware that Mormons practiced plural marriage in the beginning. It’s not a secret, and the church goes out of it’s way to distance themselves from polygamy. I was taught that Joseph didn’t want to practice plural marriage, but finally did when an angel of the Lord came to him with a flaming sword.

Many in the apologetics field claim that plural marriage was designed to help widows and to speed up the population of the church. Unfortunately, that makes very little sense to me as well as others. There are much better ways of expanding a church’s population, and to be frank, you don’t need to marry a widow to take care of her, do you?

I started at the church’s own genealogy website, FamilySearch.org. When I found Joseph Smith’s family records, I realized how many women he had married, their ages. The only wife mentioned to me was Emma. Is that fair to the other women who had to share a husband for the sake of their religion? There is no mention of polygamy at all in church history lessons or Sunday School discussions. You hear about Joseph Smith and his wife… Brigham Young and his wife… you get the picture. Is that honest? It’s not, Mr. Monson, it’s not.

Now, there are three things regarding polygamy and Joseph Smith that I find unforgivable…

He married women who were already married to living men. He would send men away on missions and then marry their wives while they were gone. Is this something any man of God would do? It’s dishonest and shocking.

Joseph Smith lied about polygamy to his first wife, Emma, until he could no longer hide it from her. He had taken other wives behind her back, one of them being Fanny Alger, a young woman who Emma took in and helped. Others describe the event between Joseph Smith and Fanny Alger as a dirty affair, and there are reports of Emma kicking Fanny out of the house and refusing to see her again. There is no excuse for that.

The last, and most important issue with polygamy is that Joseph Smith married at least two girls that were only fourteen at the time. It was not common for girls that age to be married. I have done the checking, Mr. Monson. What business would Joseph Smith have with two fourteen year old girls? Why would God ask Joseph Smith to take two young brides like that? He wouldn’t. Would he? These girls were traded like property, and it’s shocking. There is one thing I know for sure, and that is that God had nothing to do with it. Nothing. At. All.

There is no doubt in my mind that Joseph Smith used his status, power and charm to take advantage of the women who crossed his path. This is not something a prophet would do.

The only reason the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stopped the practice of polygamy was because they wouldn’t reach statehood. After the “revelation” came to stop plural marriage, it continued in secret. Is this honest? Far from it.

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I woke up to rain.  Lots and lots and lots of rain.  It's okay, I love a cloudy sky and the cozy feeling of being all wrapped up in a sweatshirt or jacket and enjoying the cooler weather.  The only bad thing was that my brother and his wife were driving up for a visit and the rain was horrible on I-15.  They even mentioned they couldn't see the lines on the road at one point.  Scary stuff!

While Mom and I were waiting patiently for them to arrive in Logan, we went on a walk in the rain.  My socks kept falling down.  It drove me nuts! So, we made a return trip to my apartment so I could change socks and shoes.  At least I realized they were going to be an issue before I was out and about for the day, huh?

 I took this photo on the way to my Mom's house.  She lives a couple blocks away, it's really nice to know that I can just walk over to see her after spending so many years in Orlando.  I love it.

 More rain.  I love the rain... really... I do... 

 My brother and his wife arrived safe and sound.  We decided to brave the weather (I love the rain... really) and walk down main street.  These are my brother's feet.  Did I mention it was raining?  Because I love the rain.

 Main street was practically empty.  We had the place to ourselves... probably because it was raining.  I love the rain.

 We stopped for coffee in a little out of the way coffee shop.  It was really nice being in the warm shop... because it was raining.  I love the rain.  Really.

 This shot was taken outside of the quaint coffee shop.  I had a good time balancing my 12 oz Mocha and my camera.  I think I ended up wearing more coffee than I drank, but thats okay because the coffee was hot and I was cold... because it was raining.  Love. The. Rain.

 Another shot next to the coffee shop.  It was a beautiful area... I plan on making weekly trips for coffee with extra sugar and cream. 

 All in all, it was a fantastic day.  I spent some quality time with people who love me for me.  It can't get any better than that, can it?

Andee

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As you all know, I get comments from believing Mormons all the time.  Sometimes they leave notes in the comments section of the blog, and sometimes they just email me to tell me how unbelievable horrible I am.  Yesterday I found this note in the comments section and I loved it so much I had to share it with everyone.  

WOW, that's quite a list you've got going on there.

Thanks, I spent some time on it.  Glad you approve.

I suppose you had to dump that load some place.

This is my blog, so yeah... it would probably be a good place to "dump the load." I do wish you could have come up with a better way to say that.  Sounds gross.

See what you're missing is that all the things on your list are of no consequence because it was all "revealed". It doesn't need to be proven.

It's funny that you think I am missing something. The research I have done over the last year and a half has been pretty damned extensive.  You might think it doesn't need to be proven, but there is plenty of evidence to prove the church untrue. 

And if you doubt it, think about all of the Mormons who have a "testimony" that it's true despite the evidence to the contrary.

I do think about all the Mormons who have a testimony.  Many of these people are family members whom I love very much.  I am happy to hear that you accept there is plenty of evidence that the church is indeed untrue.  A testimony doesn't make the church true.  You would like to believe that, but it's not the case.

Faith in the face of contrary evidence makes the Mormon adherent extra spiritual.

Ooooh extra spiritual, huh?  Gee... I am missing out on something.  If I just have enough faith to believe in something that is obviously a fraud makes me spiritual?  That is where I have gone wrong... thanks!

So if you would just humbly read the BoM and pray for God to reveal to you it's "truth" you'd get a special feeling that would override all of the evidence.

Hehehe, you sound exactly like my Mom's ex Bishop.  Warm fuzzies don't make the church true either.  It doesn't work that way.  Sorry.

You say why read and pray about the truth of something when you know it's false?

So, if I pray to see if 2+2=4 and I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling, then my math is false?  It's amazing.  Again, you can't find truth that way... you find peace, but not truth.  Sometimes feelings mean different things.  

I'll get back to you on that. There must be an answer. OK in the mean time read the Koran and pray if it's true. If you get a special feeling than forget about the BoM. OK?

Do you really think that people who believe in the Koran don't pray about it?  Do you think they don't feel it's the word of God just as you believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God?  Umm... every religion feels they are correct.  I don't think any of them are.

Wasn't that fun?

If it wasn't for comments like that, I wouldn't laugh as much as I do.  

See friends?  All we need to do is fast, pray and read our Book of Mormon.  We should believe even though there is so much evidence to the contrary!  Anonymous commenter has it right!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Andee

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I wrote this long list of questions in April, and it has been published before.  I think I want to repost them because there are still no answers to these questions.  Many believing Mormons claim I am full of crap and possessed by Satan, yet they can't answer these questions truthfully. Maybe I should send these to Tommy?

Do you consider it lying when someone does not tell you the complete story and purposefully leaves out certain details?

Why was I taught an inaccurate version of events from church leaders regarding the first vision and translation of the Book of Mormon?

Why was I not taught about Joseph Smith’s past regarding treasure seeking with the same seer stone used in the translation of the Book of Mormon?

Can you understand that when people realize the church didn’t share all the facts regarding this matter it makes the church seem as if it is covering something up?

Now that many people have admitted that Joseph Smith used a seer stone to translate the Book of Mormon, as well as treasure seeking facts, why don’t they teach and promote the accurate version of events?

Why does the church use tools, like paintings, that depict the translation of the Book of Mormon in a false manner to teach children and investigators?

Why not show paintings depicting the actual events of the translation of the Book of Mormon with Joseph Smith using a seer stone in a top hat?

Does the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe the Book of Abraham to be scripture?

Why doesn’t the church tell the complete and full story regarding the Book of Abraham?

Why did Joseph Smith translate the Egyptian papyri and claim it as scripture when many Egyptologists have studied the papyri and translate them to common funerary texts?

Do you find it troubling that a “Prophet of God” could get this wrong?

Do you understand why so many people see this as a giant red flag in regards to being able to trust Joseph Smith and his translating abilities?

What kind of a god helps Joseph Smith translate the Book of Mormon using a rock that he used previously to rob and deceive people with?

Is this the kind of god that is just and holy and that avoids the very appearance of evil?

Why did Joseph Smith believe the Kinderhook Plates were record from God and make plans to translate them?

Why don’t most Mormons know about the situation regarding the Kinderhook Plates?

If Joseph Smith did nothing wrong, why not talk about it?

Why does the Mormon Church teach that polygamy will be practiced in heaven?

Why would it even be necessary to be married in heaven?

Why would God or an angel of God command Joseph Smith to practice polygamy?

If an angel of God commanded Joseph Smith to practice polygamy, why was it necessary for him to keep it secret from his own wife?

How could a “Prophet of God” deceive his own wife?

Isn’t lying to your wife breaking a commandment?

Why would Joseph Smith practice polygamy even though the 12th article of faith clearly states: We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. Even though polygamy was never legal?

If the current prophet were to receive revelation that polygamy was again necessary, would you or male family members take on other wives?

What if your own wife were against the idea of taking on other wives? Would you do it anyway?

Why were 33 of the know women sealed to Joseph Smith in the temple already married to living men?

Why would a “Prophet of God” think it to be a good idea to take on two wives (Helen Mar Kimball and Nancy Winchester) when they were only 14 years old at the time?

Do you know it was uncommon for 14 year olds to be married, even in that time period?

Why did the first edition of the Doctrine and Covenants (1835) include a section denying the practice of polygamy?

Why would it be necessary to lie about polygamy being practiced by Mormons if it was truly needed to reach the celestial kingdom?

Can you understand why it is so hard to trust an organization that was clearly being deceitful?

Why would God command people to break the law and then ask them to lie about it?

If polygamy was truly essential to reach the celestial kingdom, why was the practice stopped?

Why has the church changed it’s position on gospel doctrine so many times?

Why did Brigham Young repeatedly teach that Adam was God the Father?

Why do most Mormons who talk to me about this issue believe it’s either a mistake or something that was taken out of context?

Brigham Young clearly believed and taught that Adam was indeed God the Father. He told people he had revelation on the subject. Why do Mormon Apologists deny this?

Since the church has officially distanced itself from the comments about the Adam/God theory, how do you know what will be true doctrine and what will not?

Bruce R. McConkie claimed that Brigham Young’s views about the Adam/God theory were “out of harmony with the gospel,” He also bluntly stated, “…anyone who received the temple endowments and who yet believe the Adam/God theory does not deserve to be saved.” (BYU devotional 6/1/1980). Does the church believe certain types of people shouldn't be saved?

If anyone who received the temple endowments and still believed the Adam/God theory didn’t deserve to be saved, where does that leave Brigham Young?

One prophet teaches that Adam is God, something “which God revealed to him” as well as that his teachings are scripture. When then have another prophet who condemns the doctrine that Adam is God. Finally, we have an apostle who feels that the prophets can be an unreliable source of information. Therefore, he says, we should rely on the scriptures-- which themselves originate from prophets and apostles. How are we supposed to know who to believe and when?

Do you understand how that makes anything hard to believe?

When does one know to believe the prophets and apostles? It seems that it just depends on whom and when?

How can one believe the famous saying, “The prophet will never lead you astray” after Brigham Young led people astray?

Don’t you think God would have designed a clearer system than this for receiving his divine messages?

Why has the temple endowment ceremony been changed if it came directly from God Himself?

Why were death oaths once used in the temple ceremony?

Why was it that people of color could not hold the priesthood until 1978?

Why would God not want all of his children to be treated fairly?

Why would God allow certain kinds of people the priesthood and not others?

Many people have mentioned that the Church was about to lose it’s tax-exempt status and that is the only reason the prophet suddenly received revelation to allow men of color to hold the priesthood. What is the official reason for the change of heart?

Do you understand why its hard to believe this decision was made purely from revelation?

Why were missionaries taught not to baptize people of color on their missions before 1978?

Do you understand why many people will always consider the Mormon Church to be a racist organization due to the comments and actions of previous prophets and apostles?

Why was it taught that people who were born with dark skin were being punished in this life because of their actions in the pre-existence?

Do you understand why it is extremely offensive to people to judge their character because of your beliefs about them in the pre-existence? How can you judge someone on something that you have no personal recollection of?

Why was it taught that dark skin would turn lighter and more “delightsome” once they learned and accepted the gospel?

Now that we know for certain that skin color has nothing to do with any curse, how can we believe anything else these specific apostles and prophets said? How can we trust anyone who was so horribly and inhumanely wrong?

Why has the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints never officially apologized to people of color for this mistreatment?

Do you feel that the Church should apologize for their mistreatment of African-Americans and other races after the harm and hurt it caused many of them?

In the past it was taught that birth control was “wickedness” (Joseph Fielding Smith) and that if you used birth control “destruction was inevitable” (Joseph Fielding Smith). If these words came from a prophet, why do we now believe different things?

Yet another prophet has it wrong, how can we trust the things they say given this track record?

If temple garments were so important, why has the design for the garments changed over time?

Why wasn’t Joseph Smith wearing his temple garments when he was killed?

Originally, the Word of Wisdom asked members not to have alcohol, tobacco, hot drinks, the use of wine only with communion, and meat only in the winter. How did that evolve into the no coffee/tea/alcohol/tobacco Word of Wisdom we have today?

If the word of Wisdom is so important, why did Joseph Smith have alcohol with him in Carthage Jail? It was not intended for communion. (History of the Church, vol. 7 p. 101)

If the word of wisdom was intended to teach Mormons not to have hot drinks, why is drinking hot chocolate allowed but not coffee? Is it the caffeine? If caffeine is the issue, why do many Mormons drink Mountain Dew or other caffeinated soft drinks?

Why were many of the witnesses to the Book of Mormon later quoted as saying that they saw the golden plates through “the eyes of faith?”

If church leaders think this isn’t an issue, why isn’t it discussed openly and honestly?

Why isn’t this information shared with investigators?

Don’t you feel that it is important to be honest with people that are deciding if the Mormon Church is for them?

Shouldn't everything be out in the open before someone is baptized? Isn’t that fair and moral?

Why are items mentioned in the Book of Mormon not in the Americas at the time (Pre-Colombian)? None of these items have been discovered or verified in any ancient American archaeological expedition or historical investigation in the last 200 years?

Silk (Alma 1:29)
Chariots (Alma 18:9)
Seven Day Week (Mosiah 13:18)
Cimeters (old world two-handed steel blade) (Mosiah 9:16 and other verses)
Land kept from the knowledge of “Other Nations” (2 Nephi 1:18)
Bellows (1 Nephi 17:11)
Brass and Iron (2 Nephi 5:15)
Breast plates and Copper (Mosiah 8:10)
Gold and Silver Currency (Alma 11)
Silver (Jarom 1:18)
Steel Swords (Esther 7:9, 2 Nephi 5:14)
Cattle, oxen, donkeys, horses, goats, and wild goats (1 Nephi 18:25)
Sheep, Swine, and elephants (Esther 7:9 and 2 Nephi 5:14)Plow agriculture such as barley (Alma 11:7) and wheat (Mosiah 9:9)Absence of foods known to ancient America such as chocolate, lima beans, squash, potatoes, tomatoes, etc.

Do you understand why its so hard for people to believe the Book of Mormon as true historical record with all of these problems?

Why are women not allowed to hold the priesthood?

If the color of skin (to hold the priesthood) is no longer an issue, why is gender an issue?

Why does gender determine so much in the Mormon Church?

Why are women basically groomed from a young age (I speak from experience) to be wives and mothers?

What happens when a Mormon woman decides she doesn’t want to be a wife or mother and instead focus on a career or education?

What would you say to a young woman who didn’t want to be a wife and mother?

How does anyone know what God wants for someone else?

Why are women only allowed to occupy subordinate roles to make priesthood holders?

If women are only allowed to serve under male priesthood roles, how is there any equality?

Why are women who raise their voices about this inequality receive disciplinary action?

Maxine Hanks, excommunicated, editor of “Woman and Authority: Reemerging Mormon Fundamentalism.”
Deborah Lake, excommunicated, author of “Secret Ceremonies.”

Lavina Fielding Anderson, excommunicated, collected stories of people (mainly women) who have been abused by the Mormon system. Edited the book, “Sisters in Spirit: Mormon Women in Historical and Cultural Perspective.”

Is it the Church’s position to say that one person has more power, control, and responsibility based on gender?

What do you think about the talk given by Julie B. Beck during general conference in October of 2007 titled, “Mothers Who Know?”

Do you think women in the Mormon Church have unrealistic expectations?

What if I don’t want to be married in the afterlife and have spirit child after spirit child?

Why are women supposed to tell their husbands their temple names, but men are told to keep their temple name from their wives?

What is the purpose of the temple name?

Why must we have a new/different name in heaven?

Shouldn’t God know who we are without secret handshakes and secret names?

Do you understand why many feel that women are second class citizens in the church?

Why was I told multiple times that my life wouldn’t be as fulfilling if I didn’t marry a return missionary and raise my kids in the church?

How would anyone know what would make my life, and others, more fulfilling?

Does the church know what will and will not be fulfilling to women?

Why can’t a women bless her own child?

Why is it that women don’t get to make any decisions about church wealth?

Do you think its fair and equal to not give women equal say in how this money is spent?

Can you understand that this inequality is an extremely valid reason to leave the church?

What is so horrible and evil about homosexuality?

How is the church threatened?

Why is the church so patriarchal, when it is clear that patriarchal societies foster abuse of women and children? 

Why do women have no clear voice in the church, especially in the upper echelons?

Why do church courts have no female representatives in them, even when females are being judged?

Why did the church actively oppose the ERA and the marriage amendment, when it is supposed to not be a political institution, and becoming politically involved could jeopardize its tax exempt status?

Why did it try to cover up this opposition?

Why after 200 years is there still no archaeological record of any BOM peoples? 

Why is the genetic evidence so compellingly against the BOM peoples being descended from Israelite peoples? 

Why is the temple ceremony so close to the Masonic ceremonies JS participated in prior to his starting up temple ceremonies? 

And why have they been changed so much? 

Why are women still subjugated in the temple ceremony? They have to veil, and be responsible to their husbands, not to the Lord. 

Why does the church talk about JS so much, and neglects Jesus Christ so much (count the references to JS in any General Conference, and compare them with references to Jesus Christ)? 

Why does the church feel it is acceptable to Christ's teachings to spend $2B on a mall, when so many of its own members are unable to feed their families? 

Why is tithing so important to the Mormon Church?

Why must church members report annually to their bishop to promise they paid a full and complete tithe for the year?

Why is this necessary in order to go to the temple?

Since temple covenants are so important to Mormons, do you understand why many assume you are literally paying for your salvation?

Why does the church need this money?

Why does the church make claims that paying 10 percent tithing to the LDS Church gives you more blessings in your life?

Why are family members kept away from ceremonies in the temple (like weddings)?

Why would God want this?

Why does the Church spend so much money on it’s businesses instead of donating that money to people who need it to survive?

Why does the church need a 2 billion dollar mall in Salt Lake City?

Couldn't that money be spent helping humanity?

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Growing up as a Mormon in the state of Utah puts you in a strange state of mind.  There are plenty of bizarre things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but in Utah, they seem normal... accepted... it's the way of life for nearly all the people you come into contact with.  It's not until you take a step back and look at things from a different point of view do you realize the whole thing is just plain weird.

This past week, an online acquaintance was driven to the emergency room due to a horrible allergic reaction to new medication.  He was shaking, his muscles were extremely tense, and he was having a hard time talking and standing up on his own.  His mother, a believer in the Mormon faith, drove him to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance.

So, picture it... if you will.  A mother rushing her child (although an adult child) to the emergency room because something is really, really wrong.  When they finally reached the hospital, he was placed on a hospital bed while doctors and nurses cut off his clothing in order to administer medication, check vitals, and run tests.  This is when his mother notices he isn't wearing his temple garments.

He is sick, and could possibly be fighting for his life, but she starts grilling him on why he isn't wearing his magical Mormon underwear.  He is going through a divorce right now, and she said something like, "I know you are going through a lot right now, but you are still worthy to wear your garments!"  He mentioned that he wanted to tell her that the garments were not worthy of HIM, but he was too busy trying to steady his breathing.  He did manage to eek out, "I don't have any."  I am sure he would have loved to have had the conversation, but it just wasn't the freaking time... ya know?  His mother offered to buy him some, and he eventually fell asleep from the pain meds.  He did wake up to his mother and brother discussing his underwear.

As the character Janice from Friends would say... "Oh... My... Gawd..."

The whole Mormon temple garments thing is just silly in my opinion.  Do you really need special underwear to remind you of covenants you made with God?  According to many of my relatives, the answer to that question is a loud, "HELL yes!"  Okay, I added the word Hell.  They consider that a swear word.  No, I am not kidding.

I was taught as a child that the temple garments protected you from evil and accidents.  There are even famous faith-promoting stories about a man being burned in a car accident, but there were no burns where is garments covered him.  Stories like this happen to a friend of a friend that can never be located or tracked down to verify the story.  Did this accident really take place?  Doubt it.

Logically, it makes no sense... and for more than one reason... for example, Mormons believe in having large families.  In order to have a large family, you have to have sex.  In order to have sex, you have to get turned on.  Temple garments have got to be the ugliest things in the history of American Apparel.  They remind me of Granny Panties gone horribly wrong.  It's a train wreck, it's so bad.  Just sayin'.  I'll drop that now.

Of all the things that could be used to remind someone of their covenants to Him, God chose underwear?

Believing members are also told how to dispose of temple garments if they are worn out.  They can't just be tossed into the garbage because that would be disrespectful.  Many are instructed to cut out the symbols from the garments and burn them.  What is left can be used as rags... because that *isnt* disrespectful.  

Huh?

Another thing non-Mormons really don't understand is temple weddings.  It's hard for them to get why only certain people can witness the ceremony.  A wedding, to most, is a celebration.  In Mormonism, the ceremony is exclusive to those who meet the criteria.  If a Mormon bishop says you can't go, you are out of luck.  It doesn't matter if you raised the bride or groom, paid for their college education, or even if you gave one of them a kidney.  You have to be a Mormon in good standing, which means you pay your tithing, follow the Word of Wisdom, and attend the Mormon Church regularly.

I was taught that if anyone unworthy entered the temple, a priesthood holder would know right away.  There are just as many faith promoting rumors about this as well...

One story mentions an outstanding priesthood-holding man leading a temple group.  He suddenly stops because the spirit is telling him something isn't right.  He turns around in a soap-opera like move and states that someone is in the temple that shouldn't be!  This is the cue for the young man who had an affair on his wife to feel like a rotten excuse for a human being and run crying from the room.

Stories like this are untrue.  I have never spoken with anyone, believing member or ex-member, who witnessed the miraculous.  Again, it happened to a friend of a friend who can't be tracked down.  It's so convenient.

Let me share a personal story about non-worthy people entering the temple.  It was actually one of the first clues to me that the Church wasn't what it claimed to be.

After my Dad passed away, there was a race among my relatives to get his temple work done.  My Mom wanted to do it herself, but my extended family wouldn't hear of it.  They told us to meet them at the Manti Temple on a certain day if we wanted to "be there."  I use quotation marks because they all knew that we didn't have temple recommends at the time, so "being there" was waiting outside the temple in our Sunday best babysitting the young kids.  I was so pissed.

Okay, so if the slap in the face for not being good enough to be a witness to my own father's sealing wasn't bad enough, we find out months later that one of my uncles was high on heroin at the time.

Yep.  Thats right folks.  I was working two jobs, paying my own bills, helping at my house, not even doing as much as lighing up a cigarette... and *I* wasn't good enough... but my uncle was!  Where was the outstanding priesthood holder that could tell worthy people from nonworthy people?  What the HELL?

The system is so flawed it's funny.  I won't even mention how easy it must be to lie to your bishop to get a temple recommend.  Wait... guess I just did. :)

Andee

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My father was an amazing man, I talk about him often.  We were very close, and cancer took him away from me much too soon.  

Many of the people he worked with decided to dedicate a building in his name, and this is what my Mom wrote about him.  It's fantastic, and I wanted to give it space on my blog.  

All names/dates/locations have been erased for my internet safety...

It is with great pride and honor that my family and I accept this wonderful dedication and memoriam on behalf of such an honorable man.

Shane loved this town and how could he not? All of his good memories were tied up into his growing up years here; attending schools, working, and raising his family.  It was home and he cared about this people and this place. 

When someone you love passes away, you receive alot of beautiful sentiments and sympathy cards; and our family was no exception. But there was one card I remember that I set a part from the rest; because it wasn't a sympathy card, it was a "thank you" card. It was thanking Shane for giving THEIR son such a wonderful start in the field of sports. How like my husband to leave his mark in every corner of his world. Shane enjoyed coaching; especially when our kids were little. Whether it was baseball, basketball, soccer or later on being a referee for the Jr. Jazz, he really enjoyed it. If you were on his team, you learned the value of hard work, team work, and everyone had a chance to play. 

When thinking about this, it reminded me of the time when they first made that road that connects now well-traveled streets. Well, after they got that road all done and the grass was growing real nice on that one side, the council decided they wanted some trees planted. The big question at the time was who was going to plant these trees...?? Well, a light goes on in Shane's mind and he says: "the scouts..the scouts can plant the trees, they can earn some merit badges and come with me, and we will plant the trees." All of us who have lived here, probably already know that when the weather man says it is going to be breezy in SLC or in St. George, that means it is going to be gusting at about 50 mph in this town...that is the kind of day it was, when Shane left his office clothes in his closet, put on his grubbies, and went out with the scouts to plant the trees. I passed them off and on during the day, but it was later on in the afternoon when I went way out into our backyard that I could see Shane and all these little boys over there on that new road planting some trees. And the wind was fighting them every step of the way, tumbleweeds flying all over the place and they were trying so hard to tie those little trees down to where they would stand straight and tall and not sway back and forth in the wind...well, despite their hard efforts, the trees along that road didn't make it. Between the deer and the bad weather that fall, they didn't come through. But there is no doubt in MY mind and I am sure in the minds of many parents here, that during the course of that day, Shane taught young boys how to be young men. How to stand straight and tall, and in the face of any storm, not to sway. 

Shane was quick to make friends with new neighbors, and once he did, I knew that there were would be a Friday or a Saturday where he would be laying someone's carpet, putting up a shed or a deck or something..but if you had Shane for a neighbor, you had a good friend. 

And then there is work. Seems like no matter where Shane worked, whatever job he had, whether it was down at the tankfarm, housing, or later on working here in the Contracting Office..where ever he worked, he would not settle for less than doing his very best. It was always a hundred percent and then some.

And with his good ideas, practical jokes, and sense of humor, many of his co-workers became like family. 

One day, Shane went to Stansbury Park to put up a fence. Now, at the time, I didn't know whose fence it was. Anyway, he spent the day and then came back and I said "well..that was nice of you, are they going to pay ya?" He smiled and laughed at me and said "No..no..no..Vickie, I work with Richard and he would do the same for me." So, during Shane's early illness, this office all took turns with friends and family to take Shane in to radiation for almost 7 weeks. They picked up medical supplies and there were cards, gifts, letters and visits everyday. I remember at Christmas time they all came up to help me and the kids put up the tree and when I tried to thank them individually or collectively, they would say: "Vickie, forget it. Shane would do the same for us".   

While Shane could still be up and about alittle, the office brought up his computer and files so that he could do some work for them from the house.  For this, we were all grateful; the office, Shane and his family because it kept his mind keen and alert and broke him off the regular routine of his day. I knew that Shane was going to have a good day when after he got up and medicine, feeding and everything was all done, he would say "walk me to my computer; the office will be here at 3:00." Of course, there came a time when Shane couldn't sit up for very long anymore, and he was laying in bed when his friends from the office came up to take his computer
and work things out of the room. He waited until they were gone and then he looked at me and said "There goes work". Those three words, "there goes work", I believe, was one of the first of many things that put my husband face to face with the reality of what he was dealing with. Because aside from his family and extended family, this building, this people, and this work, was his life. 

With this in mind, my family and I are wishing for those of you who will be working here, many, many good things. May you cultivate good friendships, may there be alittle laughter within these walls, and may all your works be in the integrity and high ideals of the man who walked these halls not so long ago. 

When cancer took Shane's voice away, he did alot of writiing and sign language to communicate, but voice or no voice, my husband always had the last word (BIG SMILE). Those of you who visited him in hospitals and up at the house will remember them. I feel it is only right and fitting that Shane should have the last words today. So to those of you who are responsible for this wonderful dedication, to those of you who have traveled so far, to the Community,  Workforce, friends, family and coworkers,

I love you.

Thank you.

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I stopped going to church when I was 16 for a couple reasons.  The first, was that I was being groomed to be nothing more than a stay at home, Molly Mormon baby machine.  Second, because it was mind-numbingly BORING.  

I have said it before, I will say it a million times... there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother if you CHOOSE to be a stay at home mother.  There are girls I grew up with who are probably mothers of 5 or 6 by now... I can't imagine my life like that.  It just wasn't for me. If it's for you... fan-freakin-tastic.

When I talked to leaders about what I wanted for my life (medicine at the time) my leaders would often say things like, "But don't put off having a family..." or "There are children waiting for you to have them..."  

Are you kidding me?  How did they expect me to follow my dream while taking care of 4 kids in diapers?  They didn't, and we all knew it.

They were trying to make me feel guilty!  There are kids just waiting to be born, they said... I was being selfish by making them wait.  I needed to do what God wanted for me, not what I wanted for myself.  Blech... 

For the record, waiting to be a mother isn't selfish.  It's smart.  I am going to be emotionally, physically, and financially prepared for children when the time comes, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, as soon as I decided that being in the Young Women's program wasn't exactly my cup of tea (no pun intended) I became extremely popular.  Every Mormon girl wanted to suddenly hang out with me, they wanted to know more about what I did in my free time, they wanted to let me know they could give me a ride to church and mutual on Wednesday nights.

Did they really care about me?  No.  They were being told to befriend me to get me back to church.  Sad, huh?

Not one of these girls gave a rat's ass about me while I was actually attending the activities. They didn't wonder about my free time, or offer me rides.  It was only when they wanted something from me.  It's classic Mormon Love Bombing.

Now, for the dull part.

Any LDS Service is Dull.  People speak in whispers to invoke some spirit-filled feeling with the rest of the congregation.  There are musicical numbers played with just piano, or just organ.  If you are lucky, they might allow a flute solo (I played a few of those in my church-going days... band geeks unite!).  The talks are so boring.  

People sit in a trance-like state.  Only replying to the speaker when they hear the magic words: "In the name of Jesus Christ... Amen."  It was like someone snapped their fingers... people would start flipping through their church programs looking for the next thing... it could be a hymn or another talk... whatever... it was just noted that time had passed.  We were one step closer to getting the hell out of there.

Oh, and the countless visitors at my door...

Sometimes up to twice or three times a night.  There was one young woman's leader who was very upset that I suddenly stopped going to church.  She tried so hard to corner me in the high school one day (she was a substitute teacher) asking me if someone had hurt my feelings to make me stop attending.  It's almost like she took it personally that I didn't want to be a part of her little class.

She never let up, either.  It was like she was possessed.  Here is a sampling of what would happen on Wednesdays.  For those who don't know, Wednesday is the day all the young women meet for an activity (like making brownies, learning homemaking stuff) and all the young men would get to do something that was actually fun (like playing basketball in the cultural hall.)  This is called mutual.

Wednesday in school I would be approached by the leaders kids (one was in my class) asking me if I needed a ride to the acitivity.  I would reply, "No, but thanks," and I would move on.  Around 6 pm I would get a knock at my door... surprise, surprise... it's the leader.  "I just wanted to stop by to let you know what the activity was!  We are going to have such a good time, Andee! We really miss you!  Do you need a ride?"  It was about this time that I stopped being polite.  I blatantly told her I didn't want to go.  Period.  She was never sure what to say.  My Dad was even upset with me once because I wasn't acting nicely... he eventually realized I had reason to be so annoyed.

She would eventually drive off without me, blaming herself for my inactivity, wondering what she could do to get me back in the fold... 

A couple hours later, I would get another knock at my door.  Yep.  Her again.  This time, with all my "friends."  They wanted to stop by personally to tell me how much they missed me.  They made me some yummy cookies.  

"Um... thanks..." I usually threw the cookies away.  They annoyed me that bad.

It always irked me that my assigned friends would tell me they missed me.  Why did they miss me?  They saw me at school all damn day!  They wouldn't leave me alone for crying out loud!  How COULD they miss me?  I talked to them more as an inactive person than I ever did as an active church-goer.

What really got to this leader was that I was still a straight-A, honor student.  I was in the band, drama, sang solos in choir.  I wasn't into drugs or alcohol.  I wasn't attending sex parties or having multiple abortions.  She couldn't really put her finger on what happened.  It bothered her.

Wanna know something funny?  One of her kids got knocked up in high school. 

Gawd, the day we all found out was a good day for me.

Andee

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Buddha Agrees!

You can tell a lot about a person from the way they treat animals.  You really can.  If they don't give a crap about their own pets, abuse them, rarely feed them, you can pretty much expect the same treatment, can't you?  If their animals are well taken care of, you know that they have the ability to understand that their animals have the ability to think and feel.  

Something happened at work today that really upset me... a good friend of mine (who reads this blog... HI!!) told me about an incident with a couple of our co-workers and a bug.  

I know some people are thinking, Jeez... Andee, it's just a bug!  But it bothers me... and this is why.

These guys found a bug, and they super-glued his legs to a piece of paper.  They laughed and carried on as if it was the funniest thing that had ever happened as they watched the poor creature try to get away from the torturers.  That is what it was... torture.  If you are going to kill a God damn bug, just kill it.  Don't torture it and laugh as it dies slowly!

Maybe I am crazy when I think about stuff like this, but I truly believe that if there is a God up there, He/She will care deeply about how we treated the animals and creatures in our lives.  I don't think those who eat meat are going to hell, or that those who don't take in tons of pets are doomed for eternity.  

I just think that when we lose empathy for helpless creatures we lose what makes us great.

Andee

P.S. As I sat writing this, Buddha Belly came up and sat in my lap as if to say, "Yeah... what she said!"

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