The Translation Revisited

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

Ummmm.... No. Not Quite. Joe didn't even have the plates in the room! No Urim and Thummin, either. Lies, lies, lies.

Yesterday I was thinking about the rollercoaster I have been on since taking the time to truly study LDS Church history. At times I have been angry, sad, happy and relieved... only to return to anger and sadness again.

I left the church and started this blog because of my ethics. I value honesty and integrity. I demand that an organization requiring honesty from me show that same honesty.

These are things that the average member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does NOT know, but SHOULD know. It is impossible for someone to make an educated decision about something as important as religion with only half the facts. Remember, it is healthy to seek out the opposite point of view.

A true religion should never have to lie, hide information, or omit things from textbooks and lesson plans.

Nope, didn't happen like this...

When I went to church as a little girl I clearly remember being shown images like the one at the top of the page. Joseph Smith, depicted as a hardworking young adult who was seeking the truth, had the duty of translating the golden plates. Not once did a church leader tell me the true story of how it really happened. I can't blame them, because they don't know either! The church officials, however, know exactly what they are doing.

Sandy colored seer stone apparently used by Joseph Smith. Joseph's widow Emma passed it on to relatives of her second husband, Lewis Bidamon. (Wilford Wood Museum)

When I saw the "All About Mormons" episode of South Park in which the cartoon version of Joseph Smith translated golden plates by putting a rock in a hat I thought the writers were out of their minds.

They were right, I was wrong.

Joseph Smith didn't use the urim and thummim to translate the plates (can I mention again that there is still no proof the plates truly existed at all?) he used a rock called a "seer stone" that he found in his neighbor's well as a young boy. He previously used this rock in a hat trick to try and find buried treasure on farmland in exchange for payment, and when he didn't pull through he was taken to court. Many church officials deny he was convicted of "glass looking" while others admit that the documents exist to prove it.

"In writing for your father I frequently wrote day after day, often sitting at the table close by him, he sitting with his face buried in his hat, with the stone in it, and dictating hour after hour with nothing between us."-Emma Smith

It gets better...

The golden plates that Joseph Smith waited and waited to find and dig up were not even used in the translation. AT ALL. They were not even in the room! If Joseph Smith had a magical rock that enabled him to see glowing letters and words from God, why in the world were the plates necessary to begin with? Doesn't matter to me, because I don't believe they existed at all.

Regardless, the church is far from honest about the way they teach children and potential converts about the translation of the Book of Mormon.

It did NOT happen like this:

It happened like this:

If the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints isn't ashamed of how the translation supposedly occurred, why are they so dishonest about it? Why don't they mention the rock in the hat? Why don't they mention the digging for treasure?

Because it might cause you to leave the church... thats why. Learning that Joe used a stone to "translate" (he wasn't really translating) is a big fat "WHAT THE FUCK?" moment.

For more information on the translation and quotes from some of the witnesses, check out these links:

Mormon Think
20 Truths About Mormonism
Real Mormon History
Mormonism Research Ministry
The Institute for Religious Research


  1. Elder Joseph Says:

    This one goes deep into my heart and thoughts.
    It was one discovery I made which made me think 'WHAAAAAAAAT'!

    Of course it didn't make me feel sick like when I learned that God is a white skinned man and negroes black skinned for being less valiant and subsequently banned from temple rights.( A blessing in disguise for them looking back), though I can't imagine the pain and sadness for them if they truly believed the church was true though. Imagine asking a WHITE man for a blessing ?? WTF!

    Nor did the head in a hat make me feel sick like when I discovered the hideous polygamy and threats of HELL to female members being intimidated and threatened into arranged marriages to OLD men.

    and then having to have sex with those old men???? against their own will through obediance?

    Then the asking for other mens wives by Joseph Smith and also the marrying of other mens wives.

    No the head in a hat did not make me feel that sick. It actually made me laugh and horrified at the same time. I too thought ( was misled) that he used a biblical style Urim and Thummim which came in a box hidden by Moroni?

    It made my missionaries laugh. They could not believe what I was showing them! They were freaked out, concerned, mystified, puzzled, what the !?!?! moment!

    They were, what we say here in the UK ' GOBSMACKED' ! lol

    In fact every week for at least 12 months once I had educated myself, my missionaries were treated week in week out to Real TRUTH! lol

    Their subsequent testimonies in the face of what I would present to them were a sheer embarrasment to themselves, the church and their families and they knew it.

    They are nice kids though and i did treat some to tea appointments,and all to regular refreshments, and also tracted with them on splits to help them with the QUOTAS! ( Sales Targets) lol

  1. Andee Says:

    I love your comments, Elder Joseph! Good to hear from you again.

    Off topic for a moment, I have always wanted to go to the UK!!!

    When I take a step back and look at all of the misleading stories and faith promoting ways they twisted the truth to suit them, it makes me just as sick.

    It's suck a freaking fraud!!!


  1. The Marcheses Says:

    The missionaries I talked to actually had a comic book (that was supposed to be taken seriously) which showed Joe Smitty with his Urim and Thummim glasses looking into a hat......they still believed in it.

  1. Andee Says:

    The Marcheses,

    Once, while chatting online with a missionary from, I asked about the seer stone. The missionary told me that the stone and the hat were supposedly the urim and thummim that were buried with the golden plates.

    I quickly pointed out that Joseph Smith had the stone LONG BEFORE finding the plates buried in some hillside.

    The conversation stopped there. He didn't know what to say. He kept asking me if I had prayed about it.

    *knocks on missionaries forehead*


  1. Mrs.Duncan Says:

    There was a MAD TV episode this weekend that was a remake of the eHarmony commercials that made fun of Utah and polygamists. It was hilarious, If I find a clip I will send it to you. You point out allot of good points.

  1. Seth R. Says:

    I do wish the LDS Church would just come out and report these things up front.

    I mean, it's not like the fact that Joseph stuck his head in a hat is really all that big a deal. So why make it one by being all hush-hush about it?

  1. Andee Says:


    Oh yeah... head in a hat... no big deal. Right.

    Yes, that was sarcasm.


  1. Seth R. Says:

    Well it isn't.

    I'm sure he farted while pushing the plow on occasion too. Maybe even scratched his butt a couple times when he thought no one was looking.

    So what? There's no rule that you always have to look like you're posing for Church movie every second of your waking life.

    If people didn't feel like there was a cover-up going on, this would be an utter non-issue.

  1. Elder Joseph Says:

    It was one thing being duped in church by people who didn't know their own history. But what made me really sick and angry was being misled by those who did know the true facts of history and even doctrine and chose not to tell me and even misled me on occasions where I directly asked about such things.

    Very deceptive behaviour.

    The LDS church/cult will create lots of Elder Josephs while it continues its deceptive sales pitch.