Windy Sydney

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Yes, I know that Halloween isn't over yet, but I can't help it. Every single store I walk into has a giant Christmas display, complete with colorful lights and Christmas Carols coming out of stuffed animals when you push the "press here" button.

Since I am trying to learn photography, and part of that is learning how to take photos of food (lets face it, where would food network be without those gorgeous shots of double chocolate fudge cake and super-cheesy mac and cheese) I thought this would be a cool way to showcase some really cool Christmas food photos I found on flickr. If you want to see more from that particular photographer, just click on their photo!

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As promised, here is the second half of the cult mind control article. For the first half, go here.

Steve Hassan, a noted mental health counselor working with people on their way out of many mind control cults, was an amazing speaker at the 2008 Ex-Mormon Conference. As I mentioned yesterday, you can go to www.freedomofmind.com for more information about him as well as find info on the books he has written.



Mr. Hassan mentioned that when people come out of mind control cults they are in a state of confusion. They have no idea who they are without the cult and it's beliefs. They also have "triggers" that put them right back into the mental state they were in while a believer. He used the word "moon" as his example. Every time someone used the word moon around him, his mind went to the cult. He had to train himself to think of the moon in the sky instead of Reverend Moon, the leader of his former group.

I can empathize with this at times. When I hear certain church hymns or phrases my mind goes back in time to me sitting in a church pew, bored out of my mind or something similar.

He also mentioned a term, "Spiritual rape of the soul." I can identify with that, because the church and it's beliefs were drilled into me since I was a fetus... and when I found out it was all crap I felt as if I had been used, lied to, and I was deeply hurt. The leaders of the church didn't care about me (some, not all) they cared about keeping me active, paying a full tithe, and acting as a missionary.

In mind control cults, there is no objectivity. You only see things from one side, and that leaves the group open to fill your mind with anything they want.

As church leaders have said, anything can withstand criticism... if they really believed that, they wouldn't be so afraid of believing members reading so-called anti-Mormon literature. If the church can withstand it, why are they hiding it?



The floor was opened for questions after his presentation and there were tons of people with their hands raised. One woman asked how to ask the right questions in order to start a healthy conversation about Mormonism and mind control. He told her to ask these questions to members:

• What if you were never in the group and you were happy? What would you be doing right now?
• If God himself came down and told you it was your duty to leave the group, would you?

Beyond asking questions and starting conversations, it's important to remember that if you come at them attacking the group they will tune you out. Mention other groups like Heaven's Gate or the Moonies. The best thing to do is lay seeds and build trust. This isn't something that can be done overnight.

Most people who have been in mind control groups have phobias of what would happen to them if they walked away. The best cure for these phobias is ex-members of that group. Show them that you are okay, that everything is fine... these instilled phobias are a major source of manipulation. I don't know how many times people told me that if I left the church I would end up on drugs, an alcoholic, or some kind of criminal.

Love is more powerful than mind control. Be there for them no matter what. Remind them that everyone is accountable for the decisions they make, and any level of power a person has in the group doesn't give them a free pass to hurt others.

Above all, here are some of the important things I learned...

• A good way to heal is to mentally go back in time and imagine doing things differently. For example, when leaders would teach me that it was my Heavenly Father's divine role for me to be a wife and mother... what would I do now if I were in that position.
• Many people who have been in groups like this have an automatic allergy to people who claim to have the "truth." This is completely normal and healthy. We should question these people and look closely at what they are saying. Again, anything can withstand criticism.
• Actively seek out opposite points of view. This cannot hurt! Being objective and looking at both sides of the coin give you a better understanding of the situation. If they tell you not to look at things from other points of view, it's a sign that they are hiding something.
• When family and friends are still in the group, ask yourself what you can do in your power to make things better. You can't control them in any way, and they won't get it until they are ready to. It's another reason laying seeds and trust is important. Bashing the church or group will not help them trust you. It will only push them farther away.
• Each of us has an authentic self. It is not selfish to find out who you are without any influence of religion or group.

A list of websites you might enjoy about this topic:

www.freedomofmind.com
www.criticalthinking.org

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When I saw the schedule of events at the 2008 Ex-Mormon Foundation Conference there was one speaker I was looking forward to the most. Steve Hassan.

Steve Hassan in a mental health counselor who specializes in helping people on their way out of mind control cults. At the age of 19 he joined The Moon Cult, alienated his friends and family, and he turned over every last cent in his bank account to a man who claimed to be the Messiah. How could such an intelligent man fall for such an obvious fraud? Well, when you sit down with someone with a wealth of cult mind control knowledge like he does, they will always tell you it has nothing to do with intelligence.

When Steve Hassan belonged to the Moon Cult, he became a leader quickly. Those above him would ask them to think about which country they wanted to lead once the church had rule over the world. He obeyed without question. Mr. Hassan said that if they would have asked him to kill someone, he would have done it.

Steve's first message to everyone in the conference room was the mantra "You are not stupid, you are human." There are people out there with the ability to make you believe amazing things...

Oh, I know there is a Hell of a lot of debate over people calling The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a cult. Every believing Mormon out there will swear up and down they don't belong to a cult. I used to be one of those people... I used to defend the church even though I had problems with it. I just assumed the problems were *my* fault. Silly me. There is no question to *me* that the Mormon church fits all criteria for a cult. Steve Hassan said, "If it looks like a duck, and acts like a duck... quack quack!" I love it.

So, what makes a group a cult? Let me throw out a few questions and you can hopefully see it for yourself...

Does the group limit information in any way?

• Strongly suggesting information not coming directly from the group or leader is evil or untrustworthy.
• If the group or leader finds you reading "unacceptable" material, you have to explain yourself, or deal with some kind of punishment.
• The group owns their own newspapers, television stations, businesses and universities. (Yes, I know there are plenty of other groups who have this kind of thing, but when paired with other things it adds fuel to the fire... so to speak...)

Is there an elitist mentality?

• The group is select or "chosen."
• The group is the only one with answers.
• The group is the only one with the truth.

Does the group try to instill irrational fears?

• Certain things are evil, even though people all over the world use these things with no obvious side effect.
• If you don't do what the leader says, bad things will happen. Satan will come after you, or some other catastrophe will take place.
• Normal bodily functions are bad, and these normal things mean horrible things. Sexual desire is one major example. Some cults claim that sexual desire is caused by impure thoughts or not being as devoted to the cause as other people.

Does the group influence your decision making skills?

• Can you make decisions without consulting other members of the group?
• Do you worry that the decisions you make will upset or anger members of the group?
• Does the group or leader try to influence your decisions?

Does the group try to tell you their doctrine is the only truth?

• Things like science are not as important as the doctrine.

Do you or members of the group deal with mental or physical symptoms?

• Depression
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Anxiety
• Constant guilt over not measuring up
• Issues with trusting people outside of the group

I don't know about anyone else, but the answers to those questions scream "Mormonism!" to me. Some more than others, but you get the idea. It fits the mind control mold, and I am not the only one who thinks so... of course, Mormons assume I am out to get them and possessed by Satan. I couldn't possibly understand that they have it right, and that their church is different. Right.

I have a second part to this coming in the morning... I will update before I leave for work. There are things he mentioned about helping other people out of mind control groups, as well as ways to protect yourself from groups like this. This guy is very interesting and extremely wise. If you are interested in reading more, go to his website.

www.freedomofmind.com

Andee

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You should read this... not only is there a message about the SigningForSomething.org petition delivery in Salt Lake City, it's a thoughtful and fantastic piece that makes you think.

I am more than troubled, however, by the tumult Proposition 8 -- the proposed anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment here in California -- has wrought. Those speaking in the name of their God and prophets, led principally by out-of-state Mormons and joined by evangelical Christians, have made the removal of my rights a holy war for the new century. (Orthodox Jews so far seem to be staying out of the fray, certainly not leading the effort with money or public protests.)

For the rest of the article from the Huffington Post, click here...

Andee

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So, late last night I filled in everyone on the story of a friend of mine who has been receiving threats since leaving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It started off with someone burning words into his lawn like "evil" and "apostate." They returned months later and added the "CTR" about the word "apostate."

A while ago, he received this note:


When I mentioned that my friend was going through a tough time and that many members of his family as well as some of his friends have stopped being as supportive as they could have been, people assumed he was doing something wrong. I want to shout from the rooftops that he hasn't! He hasn't done ANYTHING. The drama in his life wasn't caused by him at all, yet those in his circle assume the drama is happening because he left the one true church. It's a stupid game some of my own family members have played with me when I made the decision to leave.

Anything bad that happens to an ex-member of the church is because God is punishing you, or that Satan himself is leading you astray.

Anything bad that happens to a believing member of the church is because Satan is trying to push you away from God, or trying to tempt you.

It's a complete mental game that makes no sense at all.

I woke up to this comment from someone named Emma on the article from yesterday:

Oh my goodness! Thats so not cool! I'm a member of the church and I am so embarrased that members might do such nasty and immature things. I guess the people/person who done it doesn't have much understanding or testimony of the lds beliefs themself or they would not do such horrible things.. maybe they are sad little kids who's parents have made them go to church in hopes to try keep them out of trouble? Or has your friend done maybe more to stir people up that is truely evil..? In which case I can understand why the dramas if he's actively participating in slandering what people hold as most true and precious.. actually thats what it looks like by the letter he got :S

Emma, you are right. It's not cool.

It's good that you are embarrassed that members of your church would do something like this. You are correct in assuming the person responsible has no true knowledge of a loving God.

However, you immediately assume that he did something to deserve the treatment he has received. That isn't the case at all. He hasn't taken part in any kind of slandering of what people hold as "most true and precious." If you believe the letter is in response to something he did wrong, you are jumping to some horrible conclusions because he left the church. He is a good man.

He is a firefighter who would run into a burning building to save the very life that has been taunting him over the past year. It says a lot about him.

Even if he *DID* do something, say something, or piss someone off, the things that have happened to his property are not right. There is no excuse, and anyone who believes in Jesus and the teachings of Jesus would KNOW THAT!!!

Andee

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I would like to update everyone on an article I wrote a long time ago about a friend of mine from PostMormon.org. I am going to leave his name, and username out of this article in respect to his privacy, as he has a lot on his plate right now. I just want to keep everyone updated on some of the latest developments.

In case you don't remember, this friend left the Mormon church only to deal with people burning things into his lawn. These are the photos of his lawn:



Yeah, that is right... someone put "evil" and "apostate" on his lawn.

Oh, it gets worse...

A month or so later, they returned burning the words "CTR" in his grass above "apostate." A few minutes ago, I received a comment on the article I wrote and I wanted to share it with everyone because I find it ridiculous. I won't post the person's name who wrote that, but if you look hard enough, you can find it.

He needs to toughen up. We are used to people shouting we are going to hell outside General Conference, a few dead blades of grass is nothing.

Here was my reply:

He needs to toughen up, huh? You get shouted and screamed at, so people hurting his property is justified? What the hell is wrong with you?

Well, my friend recently went through a rough time. Things are changing in his life and some of his friends and family have turned their backs on him or not been as supportive as they could have been. He is a good man, and he didn't deserve any of this... He woke up the other day to this on his front door:


It's amazing that the people who claim to be the closest to God, and who claim to have all the answers, are the first people to do things like this and to defend it.

Amazing.

Andee

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Mom and I went to Salt Lake City to be a part of the Ex-Mormon Foundation Conference. We met up with our cousin, Donna, as well as many of the internet friends that have helped keep us sane over the past year and a half. It was an experience I will never forget.


We packed up our stuff in her truck, and started the one and a half hour drive to the SigningForSomething.org petition and letter delivery in Salt Lake City. This photo was taken from Mom's moving vehicle, so forgive the odd colors on the mountains in the background. That comes from the windshield tinting on her truck.


Another shot taken on the drive to Salt Lake City. It was a beautiful drive, the autumn colors were bright and beautiful.


We made it to State Street in one piece, which is saying something because I was in charge of navigation and I have zero sense of direction. None. I am surprised we didn't end up in Alaska with me behind the directions!



It was then time to help with the SigningForSomething.org petition and letter delivery at the COB in Salt Lake City. If you haven't seen the photo essay for that yet, go here.

The SigningForSomething.org event went off smoothly. We were all extremely happy with the turnout, and the amount of reporters willing to take on the story. It was something I will never forget.


We made our way to the hotel, Embassy Suites, and checked into our room. It was really nice... We had a separate living area, bathroom, and the bedroom. It worked out perfectly for us because I am usually up all night reading or writing and I didn't have to keep my Mom up! When I go back next year I plan on staying at the same hotel.

We turned on the television and immediately saw a news story on Chad Hardy and his BYU diploma being revoked. People all over the country are pissed about this, and he has interviews set up to talk about this with the media in the future. I apologize for the quality of this photo, I had two seconds to turn the camera on, and aim it before the story was going to be over. I had little time to get a nice shot.

This morning CBS nixed an interview with Chad because the church pressured them to do so. MSNBC, however, has this article up to give Chad and his diploma fight some decent exposure. Be sure to check it out!!!


We had a small dinner before we went to the "Ex-Mormon Testimony Meeting" at the hotel's restaurant, "The Plum." Eat there. It was delicious. Since I am now a vegetarian I didn't have a huge selection, so I had the apple crisp dessert. It was the best apple crisp I have ever had in my life. If you ever have the chance to try it, do!!! I didn't want to start taking photos in the middle of the restaurant, so I don't have a photo of it. Damn.

We made our way to the conference room and listened to a funny and warm welcome from Sue Emmett, Chad Spjut and Richard Packham. Then, Sue told everyone she had a surprise special guest. I thought for sure she was talking about Andrew Callahan from SigningForSomething, but I was wrong. We were all happily surprised when Chad Hardy came up to the front of the room to talk about his fight with the LDS Church over his calendar and his diploma. It was funny and interesting. He is a cool guy, and I hope someone grows a brain and decides to give him what he earned (and paid for)!

The microphone was open for anyone to get up and introduce themselves and share their experiences about learning the truth about Mormonism and their struggles when leaving the church. There were some amazing stories that made me cheer and cry... it was an amazing beginning to what would become an amazing weekend.

After the introduction we went up to our cousin Donna's room for a family chat. I asked tons of questions about my older relatives and our connection to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, as well as some of the women in my family who have always disliked the church like my Grandmother. My grandma and I had a special relationship, and I would love to think that she is out there somewhere cheering me on as I stand up and scream about how much the church lies to people.

It was really cool talking to Donna, and hearing about family members that I never knew. Donna is an amazing person who left the church in the '6o's after her mission in Southern California. She had a horrible mission experience, and if I can get her permission I will write more about that at a different time.

Saturday morning I woke up excited, and went out to take some photos of the sunrise. I walked up to the parking garage roof and took these photos.

We had some breakfast in the lobby. It was fantastic because they cooked us breakfast to order... it's not just a little continental breakfast. I had a cheese omelette, hash browns and toast. It was really good, and a nice start to the day.

The first lecture of the day was three separate couples who survived their exit from Mormonism together. Each story was different, and they took questions from the audience after they shared their thoughts about staying best friends even though one spouse leaves Mormonism before the other. It's nice to see that not all marriages break up when something like this happens, and that leaving the church doesn't have to break up your family, you just have to be wise in how you handle it.

Ken Clark then gave a presentation about "Lying for the Lord." I learned so much during his lecture, that I took notes. I was trying to be a sponge and absorb all the information, and I know there are things I will forget. Luckily, all the lectures are available online soon, so anyone can hear what they had to say. It was an awesome presentation, and he is a really nice guy. There will be an article about what he had to say later, after I get my thoughts together :)


Mom and I had a quick lunch in the hotel room to talk about some of the things Mr. Clark talked about. We were both thrilled for the next speaker, Steve Hassan, a noted mental health counselor who has personal experience in leaving a mind control cult. He was a member of the Moon cult, and shared his methods of learning to think for yourself and helping family members who are involved in cults. He was a smart and funny guy, I liked him a lot. I plan on writing about his lecture as well in the near future. I plan on buying his books to help me understand how cults and mind control works. It's very interesting.

Mom and I went to see Sue Emmett's talk about her exit from Mormonism and the toll it took on her and her family. She is a strong woman who has had her share of struggles, and I look up and admire her ability to stand for what she believes in. She is good people.


After a short break it was time for the banquet. I think I was the only one who didn't get dressed up for the dinner, but I hate dresses and I refuse to wear one. :) Here are some photos of the dinner tables as well as the guest lecturer, Lyndon Lamborn, who was "Chased out of Mormonism." If you haven't listened to his excommunication hearing, you should! He was amazing and stood his ground. He called his leaders out for not telling the truth and giving members of the church full and complete information.


I won some cool stuff at the raffle, too!


After the dinner I had the chance to meet up with many of my friends from PostMormon.org. I can't explain in words how cool it was to actually give these people a hug and thank them for their support and help during the last year and a half. We pretty much took over the hotel bar and just sat around talking to each other. I had a permanent smile on my face the entire time. It was amazing!

Thanks for reading, it was probably boring, but I will have better stuff up tomorrow after I get through my notebook full of notes. Here is one last shot of me in my hotel room...


Andee

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