Another goody from Everything Is Terrible:
Seriously?
This guy has too much time on his hands if he thinks his supreme space-daddy gives a rats ass about some stupid kids' cartoon.
Also, gun safety is different for women! :O
I hate guns just as much as I hate religion. :/
Seth,
It's been a few days since I replied to your comments about the trustworthiness of Joseph Smith and I listed the evidence that proves (to most people) that he was indeed convicted of fraud before starting the church.
Are you going to reply?
Looking forward to the friendly debate!
Andee
Browsing the Atheist Blogroll I found Christian Pwnage. Here are some of my favorite entries. Be sure to check it out, you won't regret it.
One Indian, One Normal - Watch more Funny Videos
These girls are so stupid it hurts.
Holy Shit.
Was this some really well-done over-the-top satire? Please tell me it was! Please!!
Same goes for this next one...
Satire, right? Well done satire? Please?
I found a treasure trove of atheist and skeptic cartoons that I wanted to share. Hope you like 'em.
I just came across this list of ways to irritate an atheist. I fell in love with it and wanted to share some of my favorite ideas. There are 281 tricks in all, to read them all... go here.
Ask them why they are bitter against God.
Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
Make up statistics.
Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
Say that separation of church and state isn't in the Constitution; insist that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.
Tell them they know in their hearts that God exists.
Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
Tell him that God works in mysterious ways.
...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning.
...and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
Insist that Noah's Ark and the Shroud of Turin are real.
...and tell him about the special on FOX where you saw it.
Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
Admonish him to have sex for reproductive purposes only.
Give him the special gift of his very own "paraphrased" modern Bible.
Speak to him with a fake Australian accent.
State that Christianity has done a lot of good along with all the mass murder.
When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
Upon hearing that he is an atheist, jump back reflexively, as if you don't want to catch whatever it is he's got.
...then look at him as if he were a diseased leper who just spit in your eye.
End all your posts with John 3:16.
...or "God Bless."
Patiently explain that the 42 children that were torn to bits by two bears sent by God were not really children, but spawn of Satan.
When asked if they would sacrifice their own child for God, respond with "God would never ask me to do that."
Carefully explain that Lot's daughters were never in danger of gang rape, and that Lot knew this all along.
Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
Explain that Buddha's last words were "Jesus, forgive me."
...and tell him that you were "saved" when you heard that story.
...and when he explains that Buddha died 500 years before Jesus was born, give him a blank look.
When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven.
...and mentally retarded people.
...and those with Downs Syndrome.
Spell it "athiest."
Spell it "evilution."
Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
...and all atheists are therefore Nazis.
Use the word "atheist" as a verb.
After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeat the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
State with a straight face, "Yes, I believe that an invisible fairy god king magically blinked us all into existence in order to punish us for our salvation and that we must all humble ourselves and eat his flesh and drink his blood," and then claim your belief is perfectly rational and Superior to the atheist "mind-set," which can provide no answers.
Ask how he can have any morals if he doesn't believe in God.
Say that you know in your heart that belief in God is perfectly logical and rational.
Say that going to church is fun.
...and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
Fail to have a basic grasp of history. (Spanish Inquisition? What's that?)
Have your pastor hunt him down and force him into a debate over dinner.
PUT ALL ARGUMENTS IN CAPITAL LETTERS TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU'RE YELLING AND SCREAMING!
Avoid taxes and regulations because you're doing God's work.
Accuse him of closed-mindedness for not accepting your extraordinary claims.
Claim that God can cure HIV if one prays hard enough.
...then say that it is God's choice who he will cure, and anyway having HIV is better than an eternity in Hell.
Ask who he turns to when he's in danger.
...when he says himself, say "No -- when you're REALLY in danger."
Grossly misunderstand the word "theory."
Ask if he's ever heard of Jesus Christ.
Show up on his front porch at 9:00 on Saturday morning, and take advantage of his groginess by shoving copies of Watchtower into his hands and getting him to read the Bible with you, then walk away before he has any idea what's going on.
Program your church bells to play very loudly at really odd hours.
Every time the subject of his being an atheist comes up, burst out laughing.
When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
...and expect it to be taken as an intelligent remark.
Reply to every statement he makes, "That's only your opinion."
If he has cancer, tell him with a sickeningly sweet smile that you will pray for his recovery, because someone needs to.
Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
...and announce that the tragedy only happened because of those who ignore your religious fanaticism.
When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus.
Everything is Terrible is the perfect website for people like me who love to laugh at the television shows, advertisements, and pop culture of the past.
Here are some of my favorites.
Introducing Slim Suit!
Can you imagine I am losing weight just by talking on the phone??
No, sadly I can't.
The '80s were full of public service announcements fighting the war on drugs. Sometimes these were longer television spots made to look like a teen television show. Usually hosted by a blond California surfer type (picture Zach Morris ala Saved By the Bell) that wanted to "rap" with his friends about a serious issue we should all be aware of. Especially since Everyone's on Cocaine:
Anyone but me feel sorry for the lab rat? Poor little thing! He didn't choose to be hooked up to cocaine! Stupid humans and their stupid problems. We don't need to test cocaine on lab rats to know that it's something they will crave once they try it... thats why it's a problem... duh.
I also love the Jesus factor at the end of the clip. Turning to Jesus makes everything better. Go read your bible or you will become addicted to crack and die a filthy prostitute.
The 80's (and the 90's, frankly) were full of people who were convinced that once we reached the year 2000 something miraculous would happen. This lady thought the year 2001 would be extra special:
Man living in peace? Sounds nice.
Intelligent beings coming down to earth and teaching us things? Um... sure. I'm not saying it couldn't happen... but... well... it didn't. Did it? ;)
This is another clip of Uriel. She isn't wearing futuristic garb this time... she looks like a cross between Mary Poppins and Captain Hook.
She is interesting. I will have to look into her strange world of the future another day. I would love to know if she believed her own bullshit or if she knew it was all bunk and was out to make a quick buck.
Here we have a clip from a Christian television program for kids...
Why is it that people always associate kids with puppets? Puppets always scared the living crap out of me. Except the muppets and fraggle rock. Those were quality puppets. I'm talking about the ones that have that evil presence in their eyes. The ones that look like they are following you and staring you down so they can hypnotize you and make you murder your parents in their sleep. Yeah... those puppets are a little too "iffy" for a kids show if you ask me. If you are trying to sell something to a child (basically the parents of that child) you don't want them to burst into tears and scream in horror at the sight of your commercial. Nope. Not the result you are looking for...
This quote left on the youtube page says it all...
Trundel: "Ah, I think I understand Mr. Quigley, obeying is doing something you're told to do".
Mr. Q: "Very Good Trundel, and there are a lot of ways to obey."
Trundel: "Like obeying your parents?"
Mr. Q: "Or someone else who loves you...like me, and my pedophilic tendencies."
Sweet car-phone!
Ahh, the strangeness that is NormalBobSmith.com.
I'm not sure what I think about the website, but I do love some of the cartoons he writes depicting actual hate mail he receives.
I am seriously considering stealing this marvelous idea. My hate mail would make some hilarious cartoons...
Up for a good laugh?
This will make you chuckle! My personal favorite is the guy who wanted to punch one of the guys in the head for Jesus.
Seth, a believing Mormon who visits WindySydney agreed to let me share this on the blog in the form of an article. I think this is good because it opens the lines of communication and lets people get a different perspective on things...
There are many believing Mormons who read my blog but don't leave comments as Seth does. They usually send me email because they don't want to be "caught" on an "Anti-Mormon" blog. I hate that people feel they have to hide their online activities or keep things from their family just because it's an opposing point of view. As a matter of fact, seeking out the opposite point of view should be a good thing. If you close yourself off to new things and ideas you get stuck and you stop growing and learning. Any religion that tells you what you should and shouldn't read isn't good for you. I wish more Mormons would realize that.
Anyway, back on topic.
Seth and I were debating on my post about lying for the lord. I asked Seth to reply to just a couple of the list of over 100 proven lies the church has told over the years. This is his reply and as usual I will jump in when I feel the need... To help keep things straight, Seth's words are quoted and italicized, and other quotes will not be italicized. Hope that helps.
Very well, here goes.
"He was found guilty of glass looking. The modern term for Smith would be a con artist."
Joseph Smith was arraigned, but there is no record of a court conviction. Previous records of court hearings have been supplemented by new documents allowing a better legal analysis. There just isn't any firm ground to argue a conviction ever happened. You can read more about it here:
http://www.lightplanet.com/response/1826trial/facts.html
By 1826 Joseph Smith had developed a reputation as a glass looker (also known as a money digger). Smith used a seer stone rather than a piece of glass. He would place the seer stone into a stovepipe hat which he would then cover with his face. By peering at the stone while in the hat he could see things which were far removed from him, even buried under the ground.
Early in 1826 a man by the name of Josiah Stowell had come to Smith to hire him for his money digging abilities. Stowell believed that there was a treasure buried on his land, left by Spaniards long ago. With Smith's great powers Stowell would be able to find the great Spanish treasure.
For a month Smith worked on the Stowell farm, but nothing was ever found. Stowell himself never doubted Smith's abilities, but many of those close to Stowell felt the old man was being taken for a ride by Smith and brought him up on charges.
Arad Stowell, Josiah's son, testified that he had personally tested Joseph Smith's abilities and saw clearly that it was nothing but a con job. With his testimony and that of two other men involved with Josiah Stowell, Joseph Smith was found guilty of disturbing the peace.
To those who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints this episode in the life of their founder and first prophet has been a very embarrassing one that they have fought very hard to deny. The danger lies not just in the fact that Smith was a convicted con man prior to his creation of the Church, but that the details of his confidence trickery are so similar to those of the story of Joseph Smith finding and translating the golden plates which would become the Book of Mormon.
Let the record show that Joseph Smith was indeed officially (and criminally) convicted of fraud by a New York court--during the time, no less, that he claimed to be receiving inspired instructions pertaining to the translation of supposedly divinely-unearthed gold plates which he said he had dug up during an angel-led scavenger hunt.
In 1961, Nibley authored a book entitled "The Myth Makers," in which he ventured to boldly debunk assertions that Joseph Smith had committed, or had been arrested for, the crime of "glass-looking." Nibley (in words he probably later wished he could retract) went so far as to declare that if, in fact, Smith was actually proven guilty of such nefarious activity, it would constitute the most damning blow that could be imagined to Smith's claim of divine prophetship.
Under the sub-section, "Guilty! Next Case!," Hartshorn exposes the serious nature of the charges against Smith and how they have plunged a dagger into the heart of Smith's claims to divine guidance:
"It was charged that Joseph Smith was accused and found guilt of parting a local farmer from his money in a less than honest scheme, commonly known as 'money-digging' or 'glass-looking.' It was reported to have been an activity that brought him rebuke from his soon-to-be father-in-law, Isaac Hale. It is also historically recorded that he was removed from membership in a local Methodist church because of the activity and trial results.
"Of course, when that was first published back in 1961, Dr. Nibley undoubtedly felt that after 130 years no such record would turn up in 1971. Once again, the actual evidence, which the Mormon Church had denied ever existed came to light in 1971. You can read about how it was discovered as well as the relevance of other historical documents of that time that Joseph used a 'seer' stone to find money, etc. in the 54-page brochure 'Joseph Smith’s Bainbridge, N.Y., Court Trials.'
Mormon scholar Francis W. Kirkham stated:
"'Careful study of all facts regarding this alleged confession of Joseph Smith in a court of law that he had used a seer stone to find hidden treasure for purposes of fraud, must come to the conclusion that no such record was ever made, and therefore, is not in existence . . .
"'If any evidence had been in existence that Joseph Smith had used a seer stone for fraud and deception, and especially had he made this confession in a court of law as early as 1826, or four years before the Book of Mormon was printed, and this confession was in a court record, it would have been impossible for him to have organized the restored Church.'
"'. . . [I]f a court record could be identified, and if it contained a confession by Joseph Smith which revealed him to be a poor, ignorant, deluded, and superstitious person unable himself to write a book of any consequence, and whose Church could not endure because it attracted only similar persons of low mentality if such a court record confession could be identified and proved, then it follows that his believers must deny his claimed divine guidance which led them to follow him. . . . How could he be a prophet of God, the leader of the Restored Church to these tens of thousands, if he had been superstitious fraud which the pages from a book declared he confessed to be? . . . '....
"Well, in spite of 140 years of silence, the records did surface. Rev. Wesley Walters discovered the documents in the basement of the Chenango County, New York, jailhouse at Norwich, N.Y. in 1971. The records, affidavits, and other data show conclusively that Joseph Smith was arrested, went to trial, was found guilty as an imposter in the Stowell matter of "glass-looking." It is not a matter of debate, opinion or religious preference. It is a proven historical fact.
""People of the State of New York vs. Joseph Smith. Warrant issued
upon written complaintupon the oath of Peter G. Bridgman, who informed that one Joseph Smith of Bainbridge was a disorderly person and an imposter. Prisoner was brought intobeforecourt March 20 (1826). Prisoner examined. Says that he came from the town of Palmyra, and had been at the house of Josiah Stowel in Bainbridge most of the time since; … and had looked for Mr. Stowel several times, and informed him where he could find thosethesetreasures, and Mr. Stowel had been engaged in digging for them; … that he had occasionally been in the habit of looking through this stone to find lost property for three years, but of late had pretty much given it up on account its injuring his health, especially his eyes— mademakingthem sore; …
""Josiah Stowel sworn. Says … that he positively knew that the prisoner could tell, and
did possesprofessed the art of seeing those valuable treasures through the medium of said stone; that he found the digging part at Bend and Monument Hill as prisoner represented it; that prisoner had looked through said stone for Deacon Attelon, for a mine—did not exactly find it, but got a p*iece* of ore, which resembled gold, he thinks; that the prisoner had told by means of this stone where a Mr. Bacon had buried money; …
""Horace Stowel sworn. Says he sees prisoner look into hat through stone, pretending to tell where a chest of dollars were buried in Windsor, a number of miles distant; marked out size of chest in the leaves on ground.
""Arad Stowel sworn. Says that he went to see whether prisoner could convince him that he possessed the skill that he professed to have, upon which prisoner laid a book open upon a white cloth, and proposed looking through another stone which was white and transparent; hold the stone to the candle, turn his back
headto the book and read. The deception appeared so palpable, thatwitnesswent off disgusted.
""McMaster sworn. Says he went with Arad Stowel to be convinced of prisoner’s skill, and likewise came away disgusted, finding the deception so palpable. Prisoner pretended to him that he could discern
discoverobjects at a distance by holding this white stone to the sun or candle; …
""Jonathan Thompson says that prisoner was requested to look Yeomans for chest of money; … that Smith arrived at the spot first (was in night); … After digging several feet, struck upon something sounding like a board of
orplank. Prisoner would not look again, pretending that he was alarmed the last time that he looked, on account of the circumstances relating to the trunk being buried came all fresh to his mind; that the last time that he looked, he discovered distinctly the two Indians who buried the trunk; that a quarrel ensued between them, and that one of said Indians was killed by the other, and thrown into the hole beside of the trunk, to guard it, as he supposed. Thompson says … that he is certain that prisoner can divine things by means of said stone and hat; …
""And thereuponthereforethe Court find*s* the defendant guilty.Costs: Warrant, 19c. Complaint upon oath, 25 1/2c. Seven witnesses, 87 1/2c. Recognisances [sic], 25c. Mittimus, 19c. Recognisances [sic] of witnesses, 75c. Subpoena, 18c. – $2.68." "
Seer activities were rather common in that part of the country early 1800s. Many people claimed to be seers. Some where actual cons cheating people out of money. Others actually sincerely believed themselves to be possessed of these spiritual gifts and did their best to act honorably with what they honestly believed they had.
Joseph Smith appears to have been of the latter kind. The role of diviners, seers and so forth was waning by the early 1800s as the Enlightenment took greater hold - even in rural backwaters like Joseph's neighborhood. But the "old ways" were by no means dead, and you could still find seers serving their communities in respected capacity. There were several cases of fraud, but Joseph doesn't seem to fit with them. Dan Vogel writes:
"A typical confidence scheme in Smith's time involved a transient who entered an area that was known for its tales of lost treasures and the charlatan's magical powers could be put to good advantage. Using a a "peep" stone or mineral rod, he would lead the credulous to a remote spot where he had previously deposited a few coins and was able to impress them by "finding" the coins. In the ensuing excitement, he would ask to be paid for his services or, more boldly, suggest that a company be established and that shares be sold. Thereupon, he would disappear with the money. On the other hand, he might string the people along by leading them to subsequent spots, then offer magical explanations for the failure to locate or secure the treasure. For instance, he might tell them that the treasure was protected by an evil spirit or that they had not precisely followed the magical formula he had given them. Eventually he would suggest that the undertaking be abandoned, whereupon he would slip out of town with the money."
Dan Vogel, "Joseph Smith: The Making of a Prophet", xiv.
Joseph Smith, Sen., came to me one night, and told me that Joseph Smith Jr. had been looking in his glass, and had seen, not many rods from his house, two or three kegs of gold and silver…
Joseph, Sen. first made a circle, twelve or fourteen feet in diameter. This circle, said he, contains the treasure. He then stuck in the ground a row of witch hazel sticks, around the said circle, for the purpose of keeping off the evil spirits. Within this circle he made another, of about eight or ten feet in diameter. He walked around three times on the periphery of this last circle, muttering to himself something which I could not understand. He next stuck a steel rod in the centre of the circles, and then enjoined profound silence upon us, lest we should arouse the evil spirit who had the charge of these treasures.
After we had dug a trench about five feet in depth around the rod, the old man… went to the house to inquire of young Joseph the cause of our disappointment. He soon returned and said, that Joseph had remained all this time in the house, looking in his stone and watching the motions of the evil spirit – that he saw the spirit come up to the ring and as soon as it beheld the cone which we had formed around the rod, it caused the money to sink… another time, they devised a scheme, by which they might satiate their hunger, with the mutton of one of my sheep. They had seen in my flock a sheep, a large, fat, black weather.
Old Joseph and one of the boys came to me one day, and said that Joseph Jr. had discovered some very remarkable and valuable treasures, which could be procured only in one way. That way, was as follows: – That a black sheep should be taken to the ground where the treasures were concealed – that after cutting its throat, it should be led around in a circle while bleeding. This being done, the wrath of the evil spirit would be appeased: the treasures could then be obtained, and my share of them was to be four fold. To gratify my curiosity, I let them have a large fat sheep.
They afterwards informed me, that the sheep was killed pursuant to commandment; but as there was some mistake in the process, it did not have the desired effect. This, I believe, is the only time they ever made money-digging a profitable business. (Mormonism Unvailed, 1834, pages 238-239; also reproduced in Early Mormon Documents, Vol. 2, pp.59-61)
People attempting to paint Joseph Smith as fraud are missing a rather key and important point:
Joseph never made much money off his endeavors, and he never "skipped town." He stuck around and stood behind his work. No one with purely fraudulent motives would have done so.
I personally count Joseph Smith among those honorable community seers who were a fixture in American communities in 18th and early 19th century America. Sure, there were con artists. But the presence of a few bad doctors for instance (and believe me - there were a LOT of those in 1800s America) does not render the entire profession as frauds.
No one today would claim that just because a man was a doctor, or a lawyer, or a newspaper man in the 1800s, he was automatically a disreputable person.
So why do essentially the same thing with seers? Like any profession, you had your good eggs and your bad eggs. Joseph appears to have been one of the good ones.
You can read more on this subject here: http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2009_Joseph_the_Seer.html
So there's one response. More to come. Unless you want to stop and respond to this point...Thank you for the response.
Remember a while back when I posted about VenomFangX and his religious antics and trouble with the law?
Well, I just found out that Anthony Powell, a fan of VenomFangX, killed Asia McGowan (20) and then turned the gun on himself inside a classroom at Henry Ford Community College on 04/10/2009. It's pretty strange considering I have been watching the videos he posted and I couldn't help judge the guy because he was soooooo messed up regarding his thoughts about atheists. He calls us "tools of Satan, monsters, demons, and sub-human monkeys." He wanted to get a group of Christians together and kick atheists off of youtube.
He goes on and on about how atheists are ignorant and wrong... that we need to be stopped... and then he goes out and kills a woman and then himself?
Asia was a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her. This is one of her videos from her YouTube Channel:
I am not sure if this shooting had anything to do with religion, I don't think it did. I think that Tony might have wanted more of a relationship than Asia. I do have a feeling that fanaticism had a lot to do with his mindset. His videos are full of rants about how he feels the world should be (not unlike my blog, I should mention). At one point he complains that women need to respect and support their husbands (he actually uses the word King).
I'm not really sure where I am going with this to be honest... It's just strange and sadly telling IMO.
People who are so indoctrinated in any kind of religion lose the lack of ability to see reality. They look at life through a filter... this filter can be full of hatred, and it can hurt innocent people.
I hate religion.
Andee
