Here is something that will probably annoy and bother every believing Mormon that reads this blog, but I found these funny as hell as TRUE! Make comments if you like, but this is how I, and others feel and how we see things...
- It is perfectly ok for TBMs to tell us that our beliefs are inspired by Satan, that we are wrong and that we are doing the "devil's work", however we are not allowed to respond.
- They can arrive unannounced on our doorstep to call us to repentance but we are not allowed to go over to their house unannounced and spend two or three hours presenting evidence that their feelings are leading them astray.
- They can bring up any church related topic and discuss it ad nauseum but we are forbidden from presenting facts and evidence that they are full of Sh!t.
- They preach that they believe in "Allowing all men to worship God according to the dictates of their own conscience", but if we believe is something different than they do, they attempt to force us back to "believing."
- If they do missionary work, they are serving the Lord, but if we do postmo missionary work... well, you get the idea.
- Keep the Sabbath day holy...unless your Steve Young or other big shot who brings in big bucks to the church.
- No Beards for Bishoprics, dress code at BYU, Missionary attire---But on the same token 'its on the inside that counts'. With the church its all about appearances.
- Court of Luv- I am sorry but I NEVER understood that. How in the world do they justify it?? I just can't imagine the Christ they teach you about would wanna ex anyone???
- I think I've mentioned this before, but it always bugs me that TSCC has ward bar-b-que's and they serve hamburger's, hot dog's, etc. when their WoW says to eat meat on times of famine. Such hypocrites.
- Another example is how they always say to love everyone, yet this is far from the truth, they will only 'love' people that are assigned to them. There's this very FAKE friendship, and as soon as the calling is over, they are not your 'friend' anymore. Yuck!
- The very first thing my dad said to me after I told him I didn't believe the church was true was, "Don't you dare tell you're siblings about any of this." At this point, my siblings knew something was up and that I had gone inactive. I replied that if honesty and integrity are truly valued in his home, he'd hope I answered any inquiries from my siblings honestly.
- I also cringed whenever I heard a testimony about how grateful someone was that they lived in a country with religious freedom. What they meant was freedom to be mormon, but god forbid they extend that freedom to people who opted not to be mormon. They always tended to try and make their religious ideas into laws that everyone has to follow (like fighting against gay marriage.)
- Obese people have no problem getting a temple recommend. They can eat their ice cream, their burgers, their junk, fill their bodies with food that hardly passes some very unenforced FDA rules, but they're worthy for the temple.
- Drink one sip of coffee, liquor, or smoke a cigar, and you're not worthy of the paper that a temple recommend is printed on.
- Don't drink, smoke, look at porn, but by ALL means, feel free to offer any of it at your place of business to any paying customer who comes in.
- Renewing baptismal covenants and seeking forgiveness each Sunday? Find the word 'renew' or 'forgive' in either of the sacrament blessings.
- Keep the Sabbath day holy. Except for when you have to break the Sabbath for a righteous reason, then it's okay.
- Love everybody, but have a handy label for them. And if they don't believe the way you do, love them with your hate.
- Um... Jesus really wanted to build a $2.5 billion dollar mall in SLC? WTF?
- Donate your time and resources to the LDS church, but when you need help the most, don't expect the LDS church to help you out.
- Can't afford 10%? Then you can't afford forgiveness or an eternal family.
- Be honest, except for when it makes you look bad as a church.
- Find and follow truth. But ignore it if leads you out of the LDS church.
- God doesn't make mistakes. Except one out of 100 people born on this planet are neither completely male or completely female.
- No, no. It's you. Not us. Always you.
- Visitors welcome.
- Every prophet is important. Until he's dead. His teachings will be picked from the corpses of his now-dead discourses, and a paragraph here and there will be used to describe what he taught in a special 'Teachings of...' series.
- Official Doctrine.
- Mormon God can't afford to spread his gospel to the Russians.
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July 12, 2008 at 5:45 PM
from the list it says :
Visitors welcome ???
I don't think so,I was visiting over two years and numerous attempts were made to baptise me and I once had a suggestion from the Bishop afetr questioning him on historical matters :
Either get baptised and see how you feel with the Holy Ghost ( AND PAY TITHE )or get the hell out ! lol
And why are vistors called investigators ?
Our Ward had a barbacue and invited non members.The following day In Elders Quorom we were told of the numerous investigators in church on the barbacue and how we failed to share the gospel !?!?
July 12, 2008 at 5:57 PM
Exactly Elder Joseph... Exactly.
Visitors Welcome My Ass. :)
July 15, 2008 at 6:26 PM
A lot of those things are very true of Utah mormons. we lived there for only 10 months, and I hope to never have to go back! However the churhc is very different outside of Utah...Here are some of the ways I've seen it differently from my own experiences.
I know dozens of people who take money from the church who don't necessarily need it. I know a family that had their mortgage paid for 3 years while neither of them worked--they use to pay tithing when they were working, so they benefit still. If you can't afford to pay tithing, you talk to the bishop, if you pay your tithing, the church can give you money for the things you cannot afford because you paid tithing. I have seen our ward budget, and I know how much we generally take in for tithing--we use almost as much as we take in--how does that benefit anyone in SLC? If you are traveling and run out of money, you can contact the local ward wherever you are, and as long as you have church records, they can give you money to continue on your way. This happened at least 3 times a week in the small town we lived in only a couple of years ago--I'm sure its the same where we are now.
Just a few ways that things are different outside of Utah--I'm assuming that what you said here reflects your personal experiences.
July 15, 2008 at 7:44 PM
Arvidson,
There is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that the church is much different when you get outside of Utah. I lived in Orlando, Florida for 7 years and I have seen both sides of the coin. I understand where you are coming from.
This was an article that was just for fun. It's definitely something that happens in Utah more than any other place in the world.
I know you are going to defend the church no matter what... I see it all the time. It's articles like this that make it seem as if I am basing my exit from the church on pure emotion... as if I were insulted personally and decided to leave. It's quite the contrary.
There are cold hard facts that prevent the Mormon Church from being true. The Book of Abraham, the fact that Joseph Smith married two 14 year old girls because God told him to, and DNA are just three of the hundreds of problems I have that prevent me from being a member.
Just remember that you could be wrong, and I could be right. I could be wrong, and you could be right... but I really don't think so. :)