BFF's Forever!!

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

Buddha says, "If you are my friend, you will pick up that blue feather and play with me."

Know something that annoys me? Something that I bring up at least once a month and complain about constantly? That most of my friendships with believing Mormons seem fake and manipulative.

Do they like me for me?

I doubt it.

Do they like me at all?


Are they trying to get be back to church so they can gain points with God?

Think so.

Every time I have a conversation with one of these friends (some of which read my blog... um... hi, there...) the topic seems to gravitate towards religion, God, church, and death. Death is a big one. If you talk death, and I have talked a lot about death recently, you open the door to wondering if you will ever see your loved ones again. Of course, no one really knows what happens when we die... but they don't see it that way. They have it all figured out. Must be nice.

When I stopped attending church when I was 16, I was instantly popular. Everyone wanted to hang out with me and be my friend because they wanted to get me to agree to attend YW meetings and activities. When I *did* attend, before the inactivity, no one gave a shit.

In the halls in my high school I was approached by a popular cheerleader TBM girl who won every contest she ever entered, Aced every test she ever took, and dated every good looking dreamboat in our teeny-tiny school. She wanted to talk to me? What the hell for? I was just the drama/music geek. We had nothing in common. AT ALL. But suddenly, I was her BFF.

She would leave me notes in my locker inviting me to various church activities, or get-togethers. She would constantly try and find out why I stopped going to church, and I was very honest with her... she just didn't understand. That's fine. Just leave me alone and let me be. Don't try and change me. PLEASE.

As a kid, I remember sitting in countless Sacrament meetings listening to the "every member a missionary" message.

"Befriend non-members and invite them to our services. Tell them about the gospel and share how they can become members of this wonderful church (insert sob here)."

How authentic are my Mormon friendships?

It's something I constantly think about.

Should I?



  1. [kɹeɪ̯ɡ̊] Says:

    Since I've come out and left the church, I've lost almost every single one of my Mormon "friends". Once they realised I was never coming back to Mormonism (or religion in general), and that I woudln't put up with their anti-gay bigotry, they were gone.

    So, I think that while a few Mormons can be honest friends with a person, regardless of their religious beliefs, many (if not most) are pretty shallow.

  1. Aerin Says:

    I think it just depends on the person. Only you really know them and the friendship. Sometimes it may just be a fair weather friend thing.

    I still keep in touch with one of my seminary teachers, not as regularly any more, but I genuinely got the feeling she cared about how *I* was doing, and could care less about my feelings about the church.

    Well, she also openly admitted the church wasn't right for everyone, I consider her a NOM anyway. So our friendship wasn't all that surprising.

  1. Seth R. Says:

    All friends suck in at least one or two ways.

    We take what we can get.