Sexism in the Mormon Church is one of the biggest problems that I have.
A couple months ago, someone mentioned to me that other religions do this as well, and I agreed (although I don't think it's close to be the same) but that doesn't make it okay! The excuse that "well, they do it too!" doesn't fly. It doesn't come close. It's something a first grader would say after being caught doing something bad. "So and so does it too!!" Ugh.
Anyway, back to the topic. Sexism. Women in the Mormon Church are second class citizens. Period. I know there are tons of believing Mormons who read this blog and do their best to disagree with everything I say, but they will never come close to changing my mind on this topic, and here is why:
- Women Cannot Hold the Priesthood.
Why is that? Are we not special enough because we don't have a penis? I mean, why in the world would God give this right to men and not women? When Joseph Smith created this church (and yes, he created it... he didn't restore anything) the times were different. Women then didn't have the same rights as men, but this has changed. We now have jobs, we are doctors, lawyers, police and clergy in other religions... why then is the Mormon Church so set on keeping this "gift" for men only?
- Women Cannot Hold Callings Without Their Husband's Permission.
Many women have told me about how the bishop called their husbands (some husbands were non-Mormon or inactive) and asked the husband if they would support their wives calling in the church. Excuse me?
Last time I checked women could make their own decisions. Why is it that a husband has the right to tell the bishop no? Most of the time the men hear about the calling before their wife, and I find this highly insulting. If you want me for a job (and I use that term loosely because they certainly don't get paid) you should talk to ME about it.
I have also heard stories about women turning down a calling and the bishop going behind their backs to get their husbands to talk them into it. What kind of crap is this?
This isn't the past. Men don't get to make all the decisions anymore... it's about time the church realized this.
- Women Are Asked to Obey Husbands in the Temple, Men Are only Asked to Obey God.
Ummm... what is up with that? Do they really think men are somehow closer to God and women couldn't possibly do it? Or can I just call this as I see it?
It's a boys club. Always has been.
- There is no place in the hierarchy for women in the Mormon Church.
Men make all the decisions. They decide when and how money is spent, who is chosen for callings, who gets financial assistance from the church, and what lessons are taught. Women simply have to go along with their decisions. They have no choice, do they?
- Women Cannot Complain.
Many will disagree with me here, but I will always stick to my guns on this... If a woman has an issue with sexism in the church, she has no choice but to complain to a man! Do you think that man is going to see her side, or take the time to look into matters? No. That man has convinced himself he has special priesthood powers and knows what the Lord wants. Sexism issues in the church have always been ignored, and will continue to be ignored until more women take a stand. Period.
- Polygamy in Heaven.
I will ignore the past issues of Mormon Polygamy for this post. Lets talk about Polygamy in the Celestial Kingdom.
A good little Mormon Girl meets her return missionary and they fall madly in love. They have their temple wedding (with relatives left outside no doubt, happens all the time) and she leaves college so her husband can focus on his degree. She gets pregnant sooner than they planned, but embrace the new child, and eventually more and more come. Long gone are her dreams of running her own bookstore, or bakery. She is instead staying home with the kids, maybe home teaching, and keeping the home in order. She goes to church every Sunday, makes sure the family has Family Home evening every Monday night, and teaches her children to become missionaries and live the Mormon Gospel. She is faithful to her husband who she continues to love and help her entire life. When she passes away, she then has to share than husband with other sister wives.
What?
How is that a blessing or reward for living the way Mormonism teaches? I am personally offended that many of my relatives believe they will have more wives in heaven. Women, it seems, are nothing but possessions... baby making machines, breeders, maids... then we have to do that in heaven too?
Come on!
- Confession from Females to Males.
If you have something to confess, it doesn't count unless you talk to someone with priesthood authority, and it should be a bishop or stake president, right? How fair is that? Do men ever have to confess things to women? Nope. How is that equal?
- Children.
If a woman doesn't have a husband and children, she is told she isn't living the life God wants for her. If a woman can't have children, she is sometimes told it is because she doesn't have enough faith, or because she isn't praying hard enough.
What if a woman doesn't want kids? What if she doesn't even like kids? The Mormon Machine basically tells her she isn't living the way God wants. This can go one of two ways: She can feel bad about herself, but stick to what she wants for her life. Or, she can have children anyway and be a mother that never wanted to be a mother.
This is unfair.
There are more reasons, but I am getting sick to my stomach thinking about this. Ugh.
May 26, 2008 at 12:44 AM
hello Sydney,
You are a first class citizen in my opinion.
Because even though we have never met in person.
I can tell that you are bright and very special.
All the qualities that a guy should look for in a woman or a wife.
I tell you beautiful sydney that I hope I marry someone with the personality and outer beauty just like you have.
So if you ever want to get married at the end of the day I am here.
Because I need a beautiful strong woman like you by my side.
Also we have this in common we are both capricorns.
God bless you sydney my love.
Plus I bet a lot of guys ask you to marry them sydney am I'm correct.
May 26, 2008 at 7:29 AM
Amen to all of those! Let's not forget that YM's budgets are often 4 times for that YW's for activities.
In the 1970's the RS lost their autonomy and started reporting up to men-that had not been the case previously.
May 26, 2008 at 6:10 PM
donangelo,
Your comments are very flattering, and I thank you...
I am very happy being by myself, and that is another reason I didn't fit in while I was a Mormon.
I am happy just having friends now.
May 26, 2008 at 6:11 PM
truly confused,
I honestly didn't know that the YW's budgets were less than YM's budgets! How do they make that okay in their minds? What kind of mental gymnastics do they have to do to let their conscience rest over stuff like this?
It might seem like a little thing, but it isn't... it's huge.
There is no equality.
May 26, 2008 at 6:55 PM
Well Sydney,
I always did and I still dream of that fairy tale wedding with someone special.
Because remember Sydney I thought I was going to marry my former evil bishop step daughter.
But my evil mormon bishop made sure that the wedding did not happen because he started to knocking up his own step daughter
and having babies by her.
I see it is just like the holy word of God says let God plan our lives.
But think about this sydney there is nothing more special than two people tied together in love and marriage so they can express love to one another.
And remember sydney that is why God created eve for prince adam
because it is not good for us to be alone.
I prefer being married to someone I love so we can make love.
Just a heart felt thought.
We need companionship.
May 26, 2008 at 7:05 PM
donangelo,
I prefer not to get into stuff like this. How about we just keep things about the blog, okay?
May 27, 2008 at 8:04 AM
Hmm, I've never much about sexism in the church, I've never felt like a second class citizen. But I've also grown up my whole life in the church, and my mom is an independent woman who makes her own decisions, not that of her husband. I also grew up in DC where it's not tolerated, sexism/racism etc. Now that I've moved to Utah, and stuff, things are completely different. I always think of Utah women as battered housewives - or completely spent and used trying to please everyone. hm..
May 27, 2008 at 5:34 PM
Hey Bonnie!
I find the whole way the church makes their decisions sexist. Women always have to answer to men, and never the other way around. Men hold all the power, and it's about time people started calling them on it.
Just my humble opinion.
Sydney
May 28, 2008 at 6:15 AM
Goodness Sydney what was going on up there...(I shall not ask!!!) whoa....
As for the budget thing, I think I should clarify here, that is not entirely true at all. In fact, in my Ward, the YW get a much larger share than the YM...trust me I'm the YM President!
Just wanted to clarify that right up. The budget is purely subjective to each ward and there is no 'policy' excluding YW from equal funding.
Sorry for not posting for some time Sydney, I've been had up with a rather nasty flu and then stomach virus...YEP even keeping the WoW won't help you stay away from the Germs...hahaha (pardon the sarcasm!)
May 28, 2008 at 9:10 AM
Hey Sydney –
I’m a bit of a “lurker” and don’t comment much (although I do enjoy reading your blog and contemplating your thoughts).
I do have to say though that “donangelo” is kinda creeping me out. Donangelo – you sound like a creepy stalker. You should really tone it down. And Sydney, if he doesn’t, you should be careful.
- Concerned
May 28, 2008 at 6:00 PM
Anonymous,
Thank you for your concern. I have made myself clear to donangelo that all comments should be about the blog only.
I had problems a couple months ago and had to go to the FBI for assistance in helping me with threats, and I won't hesitate to do it again if I feel necessary.
Thank you again for reading, and for your concern. I appreciate it.
May 28, 2008 at 6:12 PM
Nicko,
It sounds like your ward has it's you-know-what together... but I can promise you that other wards in the states don't get that kind of funding for the women.
It doesn't make up for the fact that women can't hold the priesthood, we can't complain to another woman who has authority to do anything, and to top it all off we have to share our husbands in heaven as some special prize for being so good?
Sorry Nicko, but in my opinion the budget concern is only the tippy-top of the iceberg.
I am glad you are feeling better...