Windy Sydney

I am just posting some comments I read on the Recovery From Mormonism page that I found interesting. These women are talking about their special day in the temple, a day most of them dreamed of since they were very small. Here is how they feel about that day now...

It was a pretty room, for sure, but nothing any nicer than the places where I shopped for and tried on wedding dresses. It was white, mostly, like all rooms in the temple, with a few tables, a few flowers, a few mirrors and chandeliers. But what I remember most is standing there looking in the mirror all alone. Yes, a temple worker or two popped in to make sure my dress was "appropriate" and they fussed about my 'unnecessary' and non-detachable train which I had to carry over my arm. But they didn't seem to involved.

No mother, no grandma, no mother-in-law. No aunts or sisters or cousins. No best friend, or even a CLOSE friend to be with me on my special day. They were all excluded for not being Mormon. My bishop's wife came in with me for a bit. I barely knew her.

I was young and excited for my wedding day, but standing there alone in the absolute dead silence it was very clear that this was something I was doing all by myself. It was a very sad, empty feeling. Standing there in my wedding dress, no music, no flowers, no body... just waiting for my turn in the sealing room with a couple of strangers as witnesses. -kc

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There were old ladies to fuss over you alright! Fuss about your neck or shoulders showing, fuss about the "diamond" earrings being "too showy" (yes, I had some CZ earrings that were rather small, and they made me REMOVE them because they were "inappropriate.").

Oh, but ... during the temple tour (prior to dedication) all I heard about was the "imported chandelier" and the "imported marble" and the "imported wood." No, it wasn't anything special (better than a locker room, though!), or I think I would have remembered. And GOD FORBID we be allowed to take pictures of our "special" day!! -Little ole Me Not Logged In

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I don't know about other temples, but the Dallas, TX temple bridal room was certainly far from beautiful or special! It was a tiny, white room and I think it had a couple of plain mirrors, a chair, some lockers, hooks, and a sink. No curling irons or hairdryers, as best I can recall, and definitely no candles or bath salts, let alone a bath or shower. I was lucky to get a sink!

The old women more like fussed AT me rather than over me and they left me all alone and did absolutely nothing to help me get ready. The only times I would see the temple workers was when they would pop their heads in every few minutes to tell me to hurry up or scold me about one thing or another. I remember feeling so let down and disappointed when I realized EVERYTHING they had promised me about the temple bridal room was a complete LIE! -tude

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Like I mentioned in a previous thread ... I've wanted to hunt down my "MIA" (dating myself) Leaders and rip them a new asshole! I CRIED in the Bride's Room because it was NOT special and wasn't about me AT ALL! Like others have said, we were mostly scolded and told to HURRY! It was a freaking cattle call!- LOMNLI

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When I a was a teenager in YW's the temple is the ultimate goal they pound into the girls' heads. The leaders don't talk about the importance of an education or teaching young girls self respect and self reliance. YW are taught to get married young and only get married in the temple. It only matters that the boy can take them to the temple. So this is pounded in our heads from primary age. But we never actually know what the temple really means or what goes on.

All the leaders are smiling and winking at each other with their secret knowledge that they can't disclose. I got married when I was 20 yrs old. Luckily I was nearly done with obtaining my BA and received it a year later. Also I married a wonderful man who eventually led me out of the church. Most YW aren't as lucky. I got married in the Dallas temple 12 years ago.

I shared the bride's room with a buch of other brides and their mothers that day. I didn't feel special at all. My dress had tons of little buttons up the back. It took my mom a long time to button it up. Finally when I had my dress on, the matron informed me that my long sleeves were too see through and I needed to put additional sleeves underneath. You can imagine my frustration and my mom's when asked to unfasten and refasten all those buttons again. Then I was horrified when I learned that the first time my new hubby would see me in my dress it would be covered up with that awful temple garb with the green apron. I also couldn't understand why I had to veil my face with that ugly cotton veil. I couldn't see my hubby during the ceremony. I couldn't wait to get out of my outfit.

I also remember with pangs of guilt how I walked out in the lobby to see my dad who was not deemed worthy to see his oldest daughter married. He said with tears in his eyes, "so you're married now huh?" I was grumpy and hot while taking pictures outside. It was August in Texas and I was wearing a long sleeved dress, need I say more.

I remember going to my nevermo best friends wedding that summer as well. I felt guilty at the time for being envious of her wedding. I thinking more and more about renewing my vows. I can wear the dress I want, invite the people I want and get married where I want. What a novel idea. Too bad I didn't think of that 12 years ago!- bookworm