Black Friday

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

Today was a day I have been dreading all year long.

*Cue the Jaws theme music*
*Dramatic Theater lighting*
*Soundtrack of random screams of terror*

Black Friday.

Yes, my friends, today is the day that all normal people turn into greedy, materialistic, sale-hounds. They wake up at 2 am, put on their combat clothes, and line up at the store of their choice to fight, kick, scream and yell in order to get the "best deal."

These people don't care who they hurt, or who they trample on, as long as little Susie gets her High School Musical crap under the tree.

We all remember the Cabbage Patch Doll craze that turned into the Furby craze... lets not forget the people who shelled out hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars for Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls. There were fist fights, stabbings, and threats made over a vibrating red doll. Stupidity.

Black friday is an all-out tradition for some families. I have see it. After the turkey is digested, the dishes are done, the football games watched, there are women who gather at the dining room table with their sisters and mothers and plan their attack. These women make lists, determine the order of importance, and they map out their entire day... on maps... that make homemade maps with arrows and red X's.

Don't let their appearance mislead you. They might look like the kind relief society woman you sit next to in church, but she has morphed into a different version of herself... a more sinister, cutthroat, driven and insane woman who wouldn't think twice about tripping or knocking your lights out if you have what she wants. These people use cell phones like walkie-talkies. They use code words.

Every year I stand back in amazement and watch the circus. Each year I am shocked and I believe I have seen it all, only to find myself shaking my head an hour later.

It's just material things, people! It's just "stuff!"

As you can imagine, I have had an eventful day.

When the doors opening at the store this morning (nope, not telling you where I work in case some crazy-nutcase with a temple garment complex wants to rid the earth of me) there was a mad dash for certain areas of the store... as if we would run out of merchandise in the first few hours of business.

Come on now.

Chill the Hell out.

They love the frenzy, the chase, the hunt. It's like a game to some of them... to see how much they can get the girl behind the customer service desk (yours truly) to lower the price.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. That item is already discounted."
"Sir, that isn't a scratch... I can wipe that mark off with my finger... see?"
"I will be happy to contact my supervisor for you, but that item is not on sale. Sorry."

Today I have been called lazy (because I can't leave the customer service desk to take some old fart across the store and show him he read the wrong damn price), stupid (because they didn't get what they wanted) and rude.

Tonight, I take a deep breath and have some leftover pie in celebration that I will not have to deal with this stupidity again for another year!



  1. purple-goat Says:

    Ugh. I feel for anyone who works in retail on Black Friday. *hugs*

  1. Andee Says:


    Thank you for the hugs. I needed 'em. Friday sucked.