Don't worry, it looks worse than it is.
Of all the things I could get hurt doing... all the things in the world...
I was SWEEPING.
I was SWEEPING and my hand was caught under a shelf. Without grossing anyone out, I will just say that there was lots of blood.
All is well now, have no fear. My cuts have been cleaned and bandaged (weirdly) and I will move on with my life... hahaha...
How does someone get hurt sweeping?
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