I Will Pray For You.

Posted by: Andee / Category: , ,

"Andee, I will pray for you."

A friend of mine heard of my disbelief and told me this yesterday in an email. This phrase used to comfort me, but it no longer does. As a matter of fact, sometimes it outright pisses me off.

Let me explain...

I can no longer believe in prayer. When I say this, I don't imply that people who *do* believe in prayer are silly or wasting their time. I am simply saying that I have found prayer to be of no help to me whatsoever during my lifetime. It's not because my prayers went unanswered or because I was unworthy for my prayers to be answered. It's because regardless of what I want and what I pray for, God will do what he wants anyway. I think positively, and I wish good thoughts for all people... certainly God hears this as well, right? Why do I need to get down on my knees for it to count?

Let me share an extremely personal example:

Ten years ago my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I was a believer in the church at the time, and I would pray for him to get better. I bargained with God that if my Dad went into remission that I would be the best person I could, and that I would become more active in the church. If there was anyone in the world that deserved that miracle, it was my father. He was an amazing man.

Did God answer my prayer? No. My father passed away months later. I don't blame God for this, nor am I angry at God for this... I understand because that is how the disease he had works. If anything, I was grateful for the time I had with him.

Regardless of what you pray for, God's will will be done, right? So, why bother the guy? Let's let him focus on things that are more important than the constant blessing of our food or your high school football team winning the big game.

The reason this pisses me off is because it is said with the implication that I am on the wrong path, or that people believe that God needs to point me in another direction. My direction is just fine. I am happy, healthy, and enjoy my daily existence.

I guess people find comfort in prayer, hoping that their thoughts and emotions will be heard and God will feel that they matter. What I find fault with is when people *only* pray.

Do you know how many people in the world pray for world peace, for example? Do these people do anything for the cause besides pray? How about people who pray for those who are hungry and homeless, do they also volunteer and donate time and money to help these people? Many don't. They think that prayer is enough.

It's not.

If our actions echoed the prayers, our world would be a much better place. Instead of pleading with God to make drastic changes, we can be the ones making the dramatic changes.

There are so many things out there that God should be worrying about that are more important than Mormonism and my lack of belief in it.

So, the only reason people want to pray for me is because I am not doing what they want me to do. I am not agreeing with what they believe. They find fault with this. Instead of agreeing to disagree on beliefs they want to change my mind. It doesn't matter to them that I am the happiest that I have ever been. They refuse to see that.

So, if you want to pray for me, let me ask you to instead spend that time actually doing something for someone else. Pay it forward instead wasting time begging God for changes you could make yourself.

It's so frustrating.



  1. Anonymous Says:

    That is the best post I have ever read. You have echoed my feelings on prayer exactly - as if you were in my own mind. I have always said to my friends who are staunch believers in prayer that I just didn't understand the point in it. If God will ultimately do what he wants anyway, why bother. I mean, of course you are going to pray for a good outcome for whatever it is your asking for intervention about. But ultimately the decision is supposedly his, right? So why waste your time asking? Also, I've never understood when a prayer isn't answered, how believers can just casually say, "well, that just means the answer was no." Come on, the guy has it made. No matter what he does, he gets credit. If a crappy outcome happens, people say it was just his will and we should try to see the lesson in it. If a good outcome happens, then we are supposed to praise him and give thanks. What a gig he has going!


  1. Andee Says:


    Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster! I thought I had alienated myself over that one. :)

    The whole thing with fasting before praying over something important makes no sense to me at all.

  1. Anonymous Says:

    You are so right about God doing what He wants to do anyway. I do not believe you have to be on your knees for Him to hear you. That is something I did believe as a mormon though. I thought if I didn't say thee, thou, and in the name of Jesus Christ my prayer would never be answered..oh and don't even start on the whole worthy for your prayers to be answered crap. Mormons are so full of rules and regs it gets my panties in a wad.

    I have come to know a different Jesus and God since leaving the morg. One of compassion and one of understanding and grace. Not at all what I experienced in the morg. That God is conditional.

    I understand where you are coming from and like I told my brother in law..don't worry I won't waste my prayers on you:) He said thank yoU!!!

    You are on one heck of a journey.
    Do you consider yourself agnostic or atheist?

    Best wishes on your healing from the religious abuse you have been freed from.

    Keep up the great work you are doing on this blog. It helps even the mormons who read it...you are planting seeds of freedom for all who read!

  1. Andee Says:


    Thank you for the wonderful comment! Very nice of you.

    I have no idea what to believe in anymore. I guess that makes me agnostic, right? I don't really like to put a label on myself right now. I am up in the air and back and forth constantly. It's like growing up all over again and having to re-learn how to think.

    You mentioned that you left the church, how long ago (if you don't mind me asking)?

    Thank you again for the kind words. I appreciate it. :)