Windy Sydney

I came across a website called People Who Deserve It: Socially Responsible Reasons To Punch Someone In The Face.

Why didn't I think of this?

Here are a few of my favorites!

There is no contesting that the incessant back-pounding, obnoxiously distracting behavior of “The Movie-Seat Kicker” needs to be reprimanded. However, situational factors complicate delivery. First, there’s the movie theater factor. Yes, you are being interrupted by the jerk store behind you, but to breakout into a fiery rage in the middle of the theater is to lower yourself to the culprit’s level and risk having all other movie goers looking to then punch you in the face. Second is the fact that very often, movie-seat kickers are children, which beckons the question, what kind of parent brings a four-year old to a two hour documentary about Cuba? And who deserves the punishment?



This one goes out to all the ladies (and some gentleman), who have found themselves on the wrong end of this 21st century degenerate.

A product of modern technology, “Camera Phone Pervert” stalks the streets of major metropolises waiting to turn his 3-mega-pixel camera phone into his own personal spank bank. And guess what? You’re the star.

The holidays are a time for giving and sharing. We accept this and sometimes even support it. But when it comes to family style dinner, there are rules. Enter “Order For the Table Guy,” a man so confident in his palette, he feels the need to project his narcissism on the rest of the diners.


Sorry team, you’ll be working late again tonight
Looks like we’re gonna have to let you go
Oops, I ran over your cat


You know what sucks about bringing your lunch to work (other than making it the night before, suffering the ridicule of coworkers and washing out the Tupperware in the co-ed bathroom when you’re done)? Having it stolen by the Office Food Thief.