8 Customers Everyone Hates

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

I ran across this list on Cracked.com that made me laugh out loud.

I have worked with the general public for all of my adult life. I have had so many experiences with the customers listed on this page, that it brought back memories from Disney and Universal in Orlando. I decided to take the list and share some personal stories that go along with it. Some stories are funny, some are sad, and some still piss me off. My explanations for these people are not the same as Cracked.com's, so to see what they had to say be sure to check out the article!

I think it's important to point out that I didn't take the photos and I borrowed them from the Cracked.com article.

So... here we have it:

8 Customers Everyone Hates

#8 The Stoner

Ahh, yes... I have had my experiences with stoners at work. You name it, I have seen it. Not just weed, but nearly every single substance out there that can change a person's personality and actions.

I was working at Universal Studios at a children's show when a group of intoxicated young teens decided to show up. I knew something was up with them because EVERYTHING anyone said or did was hilarious. They laughed and laughed... I had to even ask them to keep it down a couple times because they were ruining the show for families sitting close to them.

I don't really care if you get high or drunk, but don't impose your habits on the people around you. It's not safe, it's rude and it makes you look like a horse's ass. What you do in your own home is your business, but don't force people to babysit you because you want to have a little "fun."

#7 The Soapbox

This is the guy/gal who doesn't have anything better to do than to tell you their life story. Do I care if you hate the cop who pulled you over for going 30 miles over the speed limit? Nope.

The soapbox puts workers in a strange place. We can't be rude to the person spouting off their beliefs at the drop of a hat, because we would be fired instantly. Instead, we have to pretend to give a damn because the soapbox would jump at the chance to report us to our supervisors. They like to talk, and they looooove to complain.

I swear to God, there are only so many ways I can say, "Uh-huh" and "Oh, really?" before I want to start banging my head against my computer screen.

Right after the election I had a customer come into the store all pissed off because Obama won. He went on and on and on about how it was the "sign of the times" and that it was proof we were close to the 2nd coming of Christ. He even called Obama "Osama" which really pisses me off.

Soapbox people honestly believe that everyone in the world agrees with them, and that they are offering wisdom and logic to the rest of the world. It's ridiculous.

#6 The Anchor

This weirdo has to tell you about how they would run things if they were in charge of your work location. They say things like, "See... what you have here is an ineffective floorplan!"

Shut up.

If we have an ineffective floor plan I apologize, but what exactly do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to go into the back and hire an architect to re-design the entire place?

There are people in line behind this dweeb who have things to do and places to be. Instead of moving along we sit back and listen to a commentary of whats wrong with the world.

The Micro manager

This person is an asshole.

They love to come into your work location and tell you what you are doing wrong, and how to fix it. They don't think twice about telling you how much they prefer going to your competition because they are so much better at your job than you are.

They are not shy about telling you that you are incompetent and stupid. They are condescending and arrogant.

They are the root of all evil.

I had one of these asshats at work the other day... He was using a self-checkout machine and he couldn't get his debit card to read on the machine. He started huffing and puffing and swearing... I didn't want to walk over and help him, but I had to. It's my job.

I explain that I could manually enter his card number in the system for him since the machine wasn't reading it. He looked right at me and said, "(Insert store name here)'s system is fucking ridiculous!" When I finally convinced him that I would need to assist him or he would be stuck there for the rest of the day, he literally tossed his card at me as if I was scum. When I looked on the back of his card to enter the three digit security code, I got my first glance of the magnetic strip on the back of the card. Well, I should say that I got a glimpse of the area that SHOULD have had the magnetic strip... it was so worn and old that it was rubbed off the card completely. It didn't end there... there was actually a crack in the card as if someone was trying to snap it in half.

Oh yes, Mr. Arrogant Bastard, it's *my* fault that you haven't found the time to get a replacement debit card.

Another time our computers had all crashed. That was a nightmare in and of itself because we had to hand-write all purchases and do all the math ourselves. It was time-consuming and a pain in the ass, but there was nothing I could do about it.

A lady came up to me to complain that she had been waiting too long to get any service. I apologized and explained the situation to her, and empathizing that I would be annoyed if I were in her shoes. She then told me she had to make a payment on her in-store credit card. There was no way for me to do that, and I again apologized.

I then came up with a solution. I would take her check and process the payment as soon as the system went back to normal, but I would need a couple witnesses to verify that I wasn't stealing her check. I also needed a manager to okay the plan because I didn't want to get into trouble. I made a quick phone call, got permission and went ahead with the plan.

She looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "There you go... I am very proud of you" as if I were an infant trying to handle an adult situation.


#4 Cell Phone Shit-heads

When someone walks up to me at a check-out station while they are talking on their cell phone, I find it incredibly rude. What if I have to ask you some questions about your purchase? What if I need to explain something? I can't! Why? Because talking to your girlfriend about how Billy-Bob's new truck is much more important.

Oh sure, maybe you are on an important phone call. Maybe it's a life or death situation... but 99% of the time I overhear a part of the conversation that goes something like: "Hahahaha! Oh, My god! Hahahaha! How funny! Hahahah!"


I am here to help you. Help me help you. Don't make my job a living Hell by ignoring me completely! I am a human being trying to do my job for Christ's sake!

Oh, and while I am on the subject, when someone politely asks you how you are doing, or tells you to have a good day, you should respond. We are not beneath you. Ugh.

#3 The Ticking-Time-Bomb

This person has some major issues.

This person will take out their daily frustrations on you in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. Something happened during their day that clearly ruined it, and they will take it out on you.

Anything... ANYTHING... will set the ticking-time-bomb off.

Regardless of what happened, the ticking-time-bomb is mad as Hell and isn't going to take it anymore.

When a person like this freaks out in front of employees and other customers, those people are honestly afraid of this time-bomb. They are too scared to jump in and stick up for the employee who is getting a verbal beating.

These people can be scary.

#2 The Procrastinator

This is the person who waits in a very long line and once they get to the front of the line they haven't made a decision on what they are going to order. This happens to me constantly when I am visiting fast food restaurants.

The other day roomie and I went to McDonald's for some breakfast. The line was a mile long, and everyone was starving. By the time the person in front of me reached the cash register, they could have easily studied the menu and had their order and payment ready to go. Did that happen? Of course not!

This chick gets up there and takes a long sigh and says, "Well... hmm... let's see here..." She then went on to ask the person behind the counter a million questions about what was on each breakfast sandwich, and if ordering something without cheese would be a problem.

Are you kidding me?

It's McDonald's for crying out loud. Has the breakfast menu changed since you have seen it last? You don't know what is on the McDonald's menu? It's not only impolite to the people waiting behind you, it makes you look like a moron.

Please don't be this person...

#1 The Dinosaur

I am not being mean.


I have tons of respect for people who are older than me. I go out of my way to be polite to everyone, not because it's part of my job but because it's the right thing to do. That being said, I would love to bring up the subject of grumpy old people.

Grumpy old men are a pain in the ass.

Again, at self-checkout (my home at work lately) an older man walked up to me with a handful of items he needed to purchase. I am monitoring 4 different transactions on my screen making sure things are scanning correctly and being bagged so the machines don't freak out every 10 seconds. The section is clearly marked "Self Checkout."

This guy stared at me and said, "Well????" with a look of utter disgust on his face. I politely told him that the section we were in was pretty much self-service and he went into a mild freak out zone. Wait... not mild. It was worse than that.

So, when the other people were done with their purchases, I took his items and walked over to a self-checkout machine to do the work for him. That really pissed him off. What did he expect me to do? Close all the other machines, walk over to an empty terminal and cater to his ever whim? I *can't* do that. It's my job to watch self-checkout. Should I drop everything and forget about the people who want to use the machines? How fair is that?

He then gave me a huge monologue about how self-checkouts steal jobs from people, and that they were just for the kids. He even said that old people (he used that term) can't use 'em. He went on and on about customer service that existed back in the day, and how impersonal and rude self-checkouts were.

Let me get up on a soap-box for a moment (right after I complained about people getting on soapboxes... hahaha). Self-checkout machines don't take away jobs. They are simply a way for you to quickly check out if you have a few items so you don't have to wait in line behind people with giant piles of merchandise.

No one forces you to come to self-checkout. If you don't like them, and you refuse to use them, then why in the world would you choose that area of the store to make your purchase? WHY? Just get in line somewhere else.

It's an easy concept.