More Bible Idiocy

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , , , ,

Steph, a random commenter, took the time to educate me about a verse in the bible about baptism for the dead. Then, I took the time to educate her on many other things in the bible she might not know about. Since I received so many emails and a few comments about that post, I thought I would take more time and share even more versus in the bible AND the Book of Mormon that make zero sense.

Thanks for the idea, Steph. I appreciate it!!

These quotes are taken directly from the Skeptic's Annotated Book of Mormon that also includes the Bible and the Quran. If you are researching the truth about the Mormon Church, this website is a MUST SEE. It very clearly points out the obvious mistakes and plagiarisms in the scriptures. Let's start with the Bible... my favorites are in bold print :)

  • God repeats his intention to kill "every living substance ... from off the face of the earth." But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they done to deserve his wrath? It seems God never gets his fill of tormenting animals. 7:4
  • "Into your hand are they (the animals) delivered." God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever they please with them. This verse has been used by bible believers to justify all kinds of cruelty to animals and environmental destruction. 9:2
  • Abraham begs God not to kill everyone in Sodom and Gomorrah. [Which is odd, since later (Genesus 22:2-10) Abraham doesn't even question God's request that he kill his own son.] He asks God two good questions: "Wilt thou destroy the righteous with the wicked?" and "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" 18:23-25
  • God gives instructions for killing and burning animals. He says that if we will make such "burnt offerings," he will bless us for it. What kind of mind would be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals? 20:24
  • If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner, then "the ox shall be stoned, and his owner shall be put to death.". 21:29
  • If an ox gores a slave, the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave 30 shekels of silver, and "the ox shall be stoned." 21:32
  • If a thief is caught and is too poor to make a complete restitution, then he is to be sold to pay for his theft. 22:3
  • If you "entice" an "unmarried maid" to "lie" with you, then you must marry her, unless the father refuses to give her to you, in which case you must pay him the going price for virgins. 22:16
  • Handicapped people cannot approach the altar of God. They would "profane" it. 21:16-23

  • God punishes the children for the failings of their great-great grandfathers. 14:18
  • God prefers the Israelites to everyone else. It's not that he's prejudiced, he just like them better. 7:6
  • Hang on trees the bodies of those who are "accursed of God." They make nice decorations. 21:22
  • If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." 22:23-24
  • You can't go to church if your testicles are damaged or your penis has been cut off. 23:1
  • God won't let bastards attend church. Neither can the sons or daughters of bastards "even to the tenth generation." So if you plan to attend church next Sunday be ready to prove that your genitals are intact and don't forget your birth certificate and genealogical records for at least the last ten generations. Don't laugh. This stuff is important to God. 23:2
  • If a man dies before his wife has a child, then the widow must marry her husband's brother -- whether she likes him or not, and whether she wants to or not. 25:5
  • God will punish Eli's descendants forever for the sins of Eli's sons. 3:12-13
  • God puts lies into the mouths of his prophets and speaks evil about people. 18:21-22
  • Hate the sinner -- or God will pour his wrath out on you. 19:2
  • Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8
  • God terrifies people by sending them nightmares while they sleep. 7:14
  • If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6
  • Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18
  • Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your child today? 22:15
  • Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14
  • Because Adam listened to Eve, God cursed the ground and causes thorns and thistles to grow. Before this, according to the (false) Genesis story, plants had no natural defenses. The rose had no thorn, cacti were spineless, holly leaves were smooth, and the nettle had no sting. Foxgloves, oleander, and milkweeds were all perfectly safe to eat. 3:17-18
  • Noah is told to make an ark that is 450 feet long. 6:14-15
  • Whether by twos or by sevens, Noah takes male and female representatives from each species of "every thing that creepeth upon the earth." 7:8
  • All of the animals boarded the ark "in the selfsame day." 7:13-14
  • Noah sends a dove out to see if there was any dry land. But the dove returns without finding any. Then, just seven days later, the dove goes out again and returns with an olive leaf. But how could an olive tree survive the flood? And if any seeds happened to survive, they certainly wouldn't germinate and grow leaves within a seven day period. 8:8-11
  • When the animals left the ark, what would they have eaten? There would have been no plants after the ground had been submerged for nearly a year. What would the carnivores have eaten? Whatever prey they ate would have gone extinct. And how did the New World primates or the Australian marsupials find their way back after the flood subsided? 8:19
  • God worries that people could build a tower high enough to reach him (them?) in heaven, and that by so doing they will become omnipotent. 11:4-6
  • It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time, would have taken no more than ten days. 2:7, 8:2, 29:5
  • Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic processes (1:14-19). 1:11
  • King David collects ten thousand drams (or darics) for the construction of the temple in Jerusalem. This is especially interesting since darics were coins named after King Darius I who lived some five hundred years after David. 29:7

It's now time for the Book of Mormon! Are you excited? I am!

  • "I make a record in the language of my father ... the language of the Egyptians." That's a strange language an Israelite around 600 BCE to write in! 1:2
  • Nephi breaks his bow, "which was made of fine steel." But the technology for making steel did not exist in 600 BCE. 16:18
  • Nephi brought along the brass plates and the magic ball (or compass) that God made with his own hands. This was about 1600 years before compasses were used in navigation. 5:12
  • The Book of Mormon prophesies itself! 27:6
  • Another marvelous BoM prophecy: many shall say, "A Bible! We have got a Bible." And they certainly have. This is especially amazing since this prophecy was allegedly made around 550 BCE, long before either the canon or the name of the "Bible" existed. 29:3
  • Those who reject the Book of Mormon are of the devil. 33:5
  • If writing on metal plates was so tough, then why did Nephi bother copying 22 chapters from Isaiah? 4:1
  • Ammon carried the arms that he had cut off to show to the king. 17:39
  • Under God's instructions, the Jaredites build small, light barges to travel to the New World. 2:16
  • "They were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish ... and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish." (It was as tall as a tree and as tight as a dish.) 2:17
  • "I make a record in the language of my father ... the language of the Egyptians." That's a strange language an Israelite around 600 BCE to write in! There is no evidence of the use of Egyptian writing in pre-Columbian America. 1:2
  • Laban's sword blade was made of steel, long before steel existed. 4:9
  • Nephi breaks his bow, "which was made of fine steel." But the technology for making steel did not exist in 600 BCE. 16:18
  • Nephi found cows, horses, oxen, asses, and goats and goats when he arrived in the New World in 590 BCE. Yet none of these domesticated animals existed in North America before the Europeans brought them over 2000 years later. 18:25
  • The Amlicites were armed with swords and cimeters (ca. 87 BCE). But no evidence for these weapons has ever been found. 2:12
  • No metal coins (ezrons, senines, ontis, etc.) have been found from pre-Columbia America. 11:4-19
  • The New World in 78 BCE had many temples, sanctuaries, and synagogues that "were built after the manner of the Jews." Yet no evidence of these magnificent buildings has ever been found. 16:13
  • Ammon had lots of horses an chariots, at a time when neither horses nor chariots existed in the New World. 18:9-10
  • The brother of Jared made 16 small stones, as clear as glass, out of molten rock. He then asked God to touch the stones to make them into lights to light up the inside of the barges. God did as the brother of Jared requested. 3:1-6
Things that make you go... "Hmmmmm...."


  1. Seth R. Says:

    "What kind of mind would be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals?"

    The kind seated at your local McDonalds around lunch hour.

  1. Andee Says:

    Oh, Seth...

    You slay me with your witty banter.

    Really, you do.

    You are oh so wise. If only we could all strive to be as smart and quick as you.

    All of these moronic things from the scriptures and thats all you can come up with? Shocking.

  1. Seth R. Says:

    Well, it would be a lot of work to do a point-by-point. I only got as far as that quote before I had to quit.

    But would anyone here be any happier if I did do a point-by-point? If not, why bother?