Windy Sydney

Being a young woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints isn't easy. Especially in the way they teach these young women what should be important to them in the future. Very rarely will you hear a church teacher talk about career or personal happiness, instead they promise the young woman that by following the plan they have laid out for her, she will be happy. This simply isn't true.

Each girl in the Young Women's program is given a booklet called "Personal Progress." This was the beginning of the end for me as a teenager. My life's goals were not represented in the book at all, and when I didn't get all excited about learning to change diapers with the rest of the girls in the group, I knew that I just didn't fit in. Thank God I followed my own heart and did what I thought was right for me. If I would have married young as they did, I have no idea where I would be or WHO I would be.

The current Young Women's Personal Progress book is published online for anyone to read on LDS.org. Here are some of the quotes from the book that made me shake my head in disgust. Is this really what we should be teaching the young women?

Increase your understanding of and appreciation for womanhood. Read Proverbs 31:10–31 and two talks on womanhood from a conference issue of the Church magazines. Review what “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (see page ii) says about being a wife and a mother. Then ask your mother or another mother you admire what she thinks are important attributes for being a mother. List the attributes in your journal. Then choose one of those attributes and strive to develop it. After two weeks report your success to a parent or Young Women leader.

First problem. Sure, *if* a young woman wants to focus on having a family right away... fine... *but* you should be explaining how hard it is financially and emotionally. There is more to a woman than being a wife and mother, and the church doesn't seem to understand that. Forcing young women into this mold isn't really fair to them.

Think of faith as a seed as you help plant, care for, and harvest a vegetable garden.

This would have made me sad, because I have the opposite of a green thumb... I have the black thumb of death. What could I have learned about faith by killing a load of vegetables? We all die? Yeah... really spiritual. That is just me... I am sure other people are more skilled at gardening than I am.

I would have ended up going to the supermarket, buying vegetables and passing them off as my own. I would have learned to lie.

Develop a skill you could use in your future home, such as cooking, sewing, making repairs, or designing. Teach that skill to someone.

Oh. My. God. Why are young teenagers being taught about their future home when they should be being taught about the world around them? Go to school. Get a degree. Do something positive for someone else. Ugh.

Using an art or handicraft you have learned, make something for your future home.

Yeah... um... again... why are we so focused on the home? Because that is where we are supposed to spend our lives. They try so hard to make it seem fun, but it's still brainwashing any way you look at it.

Learn the importance of planning and preparation. Read D&C 88:119. In your journal make a list of your hopes and dreams for your future home, family, and education and some important things you would like to accomplish in your life, including becoming a wife and mother. Then record a plan that will help you achieve your goals. Share this plan with a family member, leader, or friend.

Yes, young women...

Make a list of all the things you want to accomplish in your life. Make sure that being a wife and mother are on that list... if they are not you will be sent back to do your homework again.

Learn about the importance of patriarchal blessings. Find out why they are given, who can give them, and how to prepare to receive one. Discuss with a parent or Church leader how a patriarchal blessing can guide your life. If you have not received your blessing, prepare to receive it.

This one is funny because patriarchal blessings are a giant waste of time. You visit some old guy and he interviews you, he asks you questions about yourself, what you want out of life, and then he gives you this blessing that is supposed to be special and just for you. It's laughable, because if you compared your blessing to everyone else, you would see how freaking identical they are. It's like a bad psychic reading. Most blessings include things like "You will be a mother in Zion" or "You will serve a mission." Wow. Deep stuff, huh?

Learn how to organize, clean, and maintain a home from your mother, grandmother, or another woman you admire.

Because that is all you can strive to be in the Mormon Church... a wife and mother.

Under the direction of your leaders, help plan and direct a youth dance or other activity that features appropriate dancing instruction and wholesome music, lighting, and atmosphere.

Hehe... this could have been fun with Andee in the director's chair. Hmm... appropriate dancing instruction? Okay... how about we all learn to krump?
Wholesome music? Sure... we can find something to krump to...

Wholesome lighting and atmosphere? Gotcha covered...

Pray for a missionary experience. Read Matthew 24:14; Matthew 28:19; and D&C 88:81. Invite a friend who is not a member or one who is less active to go with you to a Church meeting or activity. Introduce your friend to others, and make sure he or she is involved in the activity. Share your testimony of the gospel, and invite him or her to come again.

What you should do respect your friends for who they are and what they already believe in. If they ask you, fine... but trying to convert your friends is so tacky. Sorry, I just really feel that way. Maybe you could learn something from their culture or religion? Would most Mormon leaders be open to let you attend some of their services and outings? Probably not.

When I was in high school I sang with a couple of my friends in their Church. I was the only Mormon, and their church was non-denominational. When some of my Mormon "friends" found out I was singing and attending that church on occasion (very rarely, because I didn't really believe in any religion) they were shocked and tried even harder to get me back into the fold. Satan must have had his claws in me.

Prepare to be a homemaker by collecting recipes, shopping for food, and preparing meals for your family.

Believing Mormons, this should be a giant WTF moment for you. Why should a young teenage girl be preparing to be a homemaker? What the HELL? Why shouldn't she be out being a kid? Why shouldn't she be doing something she is actually interested in? Stuff like this pisses me off.

Look up the word integrity in a dictionary. Interview your mother, grandmother, or another woman you respect about her understanding and application of the word. Make a list of ways you can make your actions consistent with your knowledge of right and wrong, and record in your journal what it means to you to have integrity.

Hmmm... integrity? Let me just warn you that the people who are trying to teach you to have integrity have very little of it. Just my humble opinion.

Andee