I Don't Believe

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

Today someone felt the need to call me out and ask me what I believe. Do I believe in God? Do I believe I am going to be punished or sent to hell because of the things I have said and talked about?

I consider myself agnostic. I don't have a firm belief in anything. I don't pretend to. If God is out there, he is not petty. God would know I lived true to my feelings and thought about things carefully before I acted. God would know that I was a good person, and God would know the reasons behind the decisions I have made.

I have been thinking a lot about what I believe. My whole belief system was taken from me once I realized everything was one giant lie, and I was suddenly left with a feeling that I didn't know who I was without my belief system.

I don't believe for one split second that if there was a God, he/she would ever choose a man like Joseph Smith to be a prophet. If God were to pick a prophet, he would choose a man or woman who lived a good a moral life. Why would God choose someone that others would not believe? It makes no sense.

I don't believe that God would choose a man like Brigham Young to be a prophet. If you read the journal of discourses and see some of the things he said about women and African-Americans, you might understand my lack of respect for the man.

As a matter of fact, I don't believe in prophets at all. Sorry, I just have a hard time thinking that God picks people and speaks to them only. Anyone claiming they have the ability to speak with God and asks you for things should raise a red flag to others. I mean, who is to stop people from saying, "Hello there... I had this little meeting with God last night and he told me you all should give me money and listen to me. Do what I tell you or you will not be saved."

If someone were to come to you today, in modern society, and claim that he spoke with God the Father in a grove you would probably think the person was mentally ill.

I don't believe that God plays favorites. He would never give men a power and leave women in the shadows.

I don't believe God would have only certain people allowed into any of his houses of worship, including temples. If a temple is God's home, I am sure he would be more than happy to have any of his children in that house.

I don't believe weddings are a time for mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and acquaintances to be separated from each other.

I don't believe God would back up any religion that banned African-Americans from receiving the same benefits of other members. Blacks were not allowed to hold the priesthood until 1978.

I don't believe that God would ever tell men to take more than one wife, and women to take more than one husband. Lets not forget that Joseph Smith was sealed to women who were married to living men.

I don't believe that an 8 year old should have to choose whether or not to be baptized into a church. It's a decision that should be made by someone who has done their homework, someone who knows the whole story. Kids (like me) who were baptized into Mormonism didn't really make the decision because they felt it was the right thing to do. They were baptized because it's what was drilled into them since they were infants. What 8 year old tells their Mom and Dad that they don't want to be baptized? It doesn't happen.

I don't believe that a bishop or stake president has any kind of power over anyone else. Bishops and Stake Presidents are supposedly holy men who receive inspiration for callings and help from the spirit about other issues regarding church affairs. A bishop decides if you can go to the temple. That is a lot of power for one man. And again, why can't it be a woman?

I don't believe that any church that asks for a certain amount of money from it's believers is allowed to spend that money however they see fit. Any church asking for money should show exactly where that money is spent, and share it's financial records with those who have donated the money.

I don't believe that money or tithing matters to God. If God is up there, your good works should speak for you. You don't have to give money to your place of worship in order to help your fellow man, you don't have to give money to your place of worship in order to volunteer your time to help people.

I don't believe that you should have a yearly meeting with your bishop to prove you have paid a full tithe in order to keep your temple recommend. God isn't keeping count. C'mon.

I don't believe God would ask you to keep secrets. He wouldn't want super-secret ceremonies in order to get into the highest kingdom of heaven. He wouldn't want secret handshakes. He wouldn't want secret temple names. It's silly. God doesn't need that... it's God!

I don't believe God would ask you to lie. He wouldn't ask you to practice polygamy and keep it secret, especially to your own wife. He wouldn't want you to lie about anything. God is about love and honesty.

What do I believe?

That is a good one. I believe in being a good person, and an honest person. There are people out there who think I am full of hate, but they are wrong. The only thing I am full of is passion to share my experiences and opinions.

I would like to say one thing to a certain few people who continue to leave comments claiming I am a horrible person. In your opinion, this blog is "Anti-Mormon" (a word I have mentioned before that I don't agree with, but that is another post for another day) and you have been asked by the church to stay away from "Anti-Mormon" material.

Why are you here? Why are you reading? Why are you trying so desperately to prove me wrong? What brought you here in the first place?

Sometimes you find truth in the strangest of places.


  1. Nicko Says:

    Part of the issue I think is that your blog is like 70% antimormon (let's not squabble of the terms) stuff and 30% other stuff. I guess people see it purely as a blog devoted to attacking the Church. There is other stuff there too, like your photos which I tend to enjoy personally. But they don't see that.

    The other issue maybe the accessibility of your blog. My wife found your rather controversial post on the mormon temple by typing in LDS baptism on Google search whilst looking for a picture for her Primary newsletter. Of course, curious natures sometimes mean that your blog will be approached (in particular that post) and members will sometimes react instinctively and attack you as such. I suppose that is one possible reason you get these 'haters' coming along. It'd be interesting to see the statistics on your return visitors.

    I guess I come back personally too because (and not what you would like to hear) I enjoy sociologically seeing what the postmormon movement is all about, per se. I've been to the website, but in someways, that can be a little too ambiguous. Seeing your experiences as an ex-lds living in Utah is interesting and it gives me insight into some of the people who live there. But don't worry, your blog is no experiment of mine. Its just an interest I suppose.

    Anyway, I also enjoy debating, and sometimes I reply to your posts because in part that is what I do for a living. I guess old habits are sometimes hard to break.

    Needless to say I don't think I've ever got from you that I am trying to say that you hateful or an evil person. I just think you're misguided ;) jokes....

    And so you do me too I'm sure. I think its good to disagree willingly and discuss things...like the ancient greeks used to. I dare say we'll never convince one another that either are wrong...but perhaps we'll gain an appreciation of each other's position in life.

    Anyway, I've gone on wayyyy to long, I'm sure. I apologise for taking too much space. I really do like your pics though..haha.

  1. Sydney Says:

    Thanks for the comment Nicko. I am happy to say that I am now free to comment personally again. I am glad that the whole scary-guy mess seems to be over. Thanks for your support in the matter.

    I appreciate that you don't believe I am an evil or hateful person, and I believe the same about you. We agree to disagree, and that is almost an art form. Most people can't do that. I am not out to prove that I am right and the Mormons are wrong, I am just sharing what I believe, and what I am going through. You seem to get that.

    As for the camera I use, it's a Cannon Rebel XTI. It's a nice little camera, and I haven't had any issues with it so far. It runs great.

    Thanks again for representing Mormons in a positive light. Most of the true-believing Mormons who leave comments are right-fighters and forget what it's like to practice what they preach.

    Take care.