Windy Sydney

Growing up I was always taught that I shouldn't get married unless it was to a return Mormon Missionary. I have mentioned that over and over again, but I think it's important to keep saying it. God forbid you marry someone because you love them, right?

Anyway, I have heard many stories of people who went on their missions at the age of 19 (roughly) and paid their own way on top of it. I asked some of my friend on PostMormon.org to share their experiences in the field as a Mormon Missionary. I asked them to share one positive thing and one negative thing. I wasn't prepared for the amazing response, and the incredible stories. I will let their quotes do the rest of the work...

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I would say the best part of my mission was the people - especially the people who opened their doors to ME. Whether members or not, those that I could have a relationship with and unwind from the stresses of missionary work I found to be the best place to be. I was never a pushy missionary - I can never remember challenging any member to "set a date," "pray which friend they would like to approach," or the myriad of other tactics used to find coverts. I only went on splits once. Because investigators and converts were so far and few, I saw my role to be a part of the congregation and lend my support.

My mission president was the worst part. One companion sums things up fairly nicely. When he was asked by the MP why he was out here, my companion said: "To love the people." The response: "No Elder, you are here to baptise." We were instructed to follow the "suggested schedule" exactly. We were forbidden to get in larger groups of missionaries than six. We were told that we had to eat at 5 PM with members, and instruct them that this was the way it had to be. The only time he showed any emotion (and that is from his own recounting) is when missionaries returned all the money they didn't use on their missions - yes we were told that it didn't belong to us, and we had to return it. By the end of my mission, I wasn't concerned with anyone else but myself as following the "letter of the law" led me to the utmost despair. Finally, by abiding by the spirit of the law, I found a happiness I had never known before. And, being entirely convinced that "wickedness never was happiness," and that the gospel was called the "plan of happiness," I knew that God was pleased. BUT, when it was time to go home, the MP said he didn't think I was worthy of a temple recommend (I was the only one going home that month that hadn't been one of his zone leaders). He finally consented on the 11^th hour (literally) with the plane leaving shortly. I never believed as a TBM that my mission was accepted of the Lord. -Carter

I have never been on a mission, but the points I would make, I don't know if you can use them or not is that you are learning how to be salesman while on your mission. I know a lot of return missionaries that have done very well for themselves as car salesmen. The bad side is that it just doesn't make sense that you can't have contact with your family other than letters. It just seems a little ridiculous that you can't have easier access to your support group. I think a lot of missionaries would do a lot better if they had to option to call home if they needed to. -Kristi

Good thing-it ended

Bad thing-I talked a lot of good people into mormonism. Good thing-they probably all went inactive (most mormons where I "served , dishing out lies, were inactive) Bad thing-what if one stayed active? I'm sorry -God

For me, the best thing was being able to serve in a place where my ancestors came from. I really felt an affinity to them and the country, and still miss Sweden more than I probably should, 15 years later.

A bad part was being sent home four months early for clinical depression (well documented), but the worst part was having my bishop ask me several times, upon return, if I'd really been sent home early for sexual misconduct . I realized then that that is what everyone in my family and ward would probably think, because isn't that what TBM's secretly think when they find out a missionary has been sent home early?

I should have just left the church then, and stayed gone. But within nine months I'd be married, and I wanted to make my new TBM husband happy, so I went back to church. Dumb me. -nessid

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The worst thing: putting off my university degree. It was to be 13 more years before I would be able to go back and finish. There was a good deal of disillusionment with a smidge of guilt thrown in that I had to battle my way out of.

Several "best things": met some very cool people both in and out of the church, got an opportunity to use the French language I'd been studying since high school; got a fresh perspective on life, love, and truth; began to seriously question the Corporation of JC of LDS; met DH.

Our MP tried very hard to be human and treat the missionaries like humans as well. -hartlyn

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Best aspects- Learning Spanish, Castellano and English. Had to learn them proper rullles of English in order to understand, comprehend, and think in Spanish. This ability or lack thereof has given me an incredible advantage in every job since my return. In my career this has also proven to be a lifesaver as I was able to get the better of 2 idiots who decided to see what they could get away with. I overheard one of them ask the other if he was ready to play and to just say go when the time was right. I gently and politely asked the one closest to me if he would kindly inspect the inside of my Glock .45 for debris. I was yelling like a vienna boys choir soprano whose finger was stuck in a door but they got the message really quick. Anyway, I would say the language opportunity and the country and people of Argentina was truly a lifetime experience.

Worst- Argentine medical system and my MP who basically showed me the way out of the church with his incredible lack of candor and basic human kindness. That opened a door that a few years later I entered and then 12 years later I turned around and closed. Still have injuries to this day, while not the fault of the church, a little better understanding and compassion might have prevented. The emotional scars will last a lifetime and at times I use them to my advantage but not always.

Keep on keepin on! -Dawgma

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Best: Living in different cultures. Learning a new language. Making friends, and laughing a lot with the other silly missionaries. Being totally engaged in something I believed in.

Worst: Living in roach-ridden filthy places. Working as a female for a moronic patriarchal system. Getting doors slammed in our faces every day. Riding mopeds in the rain and snow. Telling a bunch of lies (even though I thought it was true at the time.) -Winyan

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The Good: The people. As a missionary, so many members open their doors to you. A smaller percentage open their doors to you as a person, and not just because your a missionary. They want to get to know you, where you came from, and who you are. I know missionaries are asked these questions mindlessly, but there are those people who actually will actually develop relationships with the missionaries. There are people in my mission who I will always be grateful for.

I also enjoyed the beauty of Colorado and Kansas. The weather and scenery were much different than the southeast/sub-tropics I grew up in.

The Bad: The missionary program. Even before joining the church, I seriously considered entering in the ministry and becoming a pastor or chaplain. Holding the priesthood and serving a mission seemed to fit in with this desire, but the missionary program was nothing like I expected. Most times, I didn't feel like a minister; I felt like a salesman. As an LDS missionary, I was out to sell religion. There were opportunities where I was able to minister to someone in need, in a variety of ways, but I mostly felt like a programed drone. I always felt that God expected more of me, but the missionary program of the church was so restrictive that I never really became the minister I felt God wanted me to be. -nxtOracle

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Best thing about my mission:

-Meeting some wonderful people that I will always hold close to my heart.

Worst thing about my mission:

-Teaching untruths to people
-Feeling superior to others not of my religion
-Selling my '69 Mustang Mach 1 to help pay for my mission (still hurts to this day!)
-Allowing my Mission Pres and his wife control me with their stupid petty rules
-The amount of time studing and researching the scriptures
-Delaying college
-Attending mission reunions (what the hell was I thinking?!?)
-Giving blessing after blessing thinking they actually were doing something

Oh, did you only want one response...sorry. -L. Tom

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The best thing: I met my wonderful wife-to-be along with making a few great friends.

The worst thing: I am not an arrogant person, but I allowed myself to think like missionaries do and I thought that I understood so much more than all those poor non-Mormons out in the mission field and I viewed them all as so lost and misguided, but if they would just accept my message they could be as all-knowing as I was. Missions turn so many nice but inexperienced young men and women in to such pricks, even if only temporarily. So embarrassing. -PeaceOfMind

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Best: Met Daria (DW) in the MTC and enjoyed learning a new language, living in a different and rich, historic culture and the warmth of the people (especially if you left religion out of the discussion).

Worst: Endless, depressing, unsuccessful finding work day after day where we would bother and disturb people who were generally happy and living fine lives. As I think back, we were so arrogant to think they were miserable and lost and needed to listen to us or their lives would be worthless, meaningless and terrible. Ugh. -Clusterfetch

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The Good Thing: I went to Spain. I don't know how I would have managed being in some nasty place like Boise, Idaho or something. But I'm sure I would have found something of report or lovely there. But I really do thinki the location saved my sanity. It was terrible enough having so much cog dis freaking me out continually, so Spain was my saving grace. That country is gorgeous, the people are gorgeous. And I say that from *me*, not from the schtick they always say in the church and in the MTC.

I became a huge fan of the language and I followed *that* route as my major in college and ended up with a degree in Spanish Linguistics from ASU. I'm glad I had that edge, because my dad wanted me to become a dentist just like *all* of my three brothers did. What a joke, they've all admitted to me that they did it for dad. My dad has turned out to be a complete and utter f*ck up, no integrity at all, asked me to pay for my mom's funeral because I *owed* him for raising me well.

The Bad Thing: Realizing that it was all a terrible waste of time, a terrible mistake. I altered other people's lives for the negative! -esteban

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The Good:

I learned Spanish. To this day, I continue to benefit from having learned it. In fact, I'm going on a business trip next week to Puerto Rico because I'm the only one in my office who speaks Spanish.

I learned to appreciate other cultures and, believe it or not, other religions. While I still believed that we had the one truth, I still recognized and understood that some people were happy in their faith traditions. Some of that also may be due to the fact that my family converted so all our cousins and grandparents were non-mormon. I was always taught to respect that.

I made a lot of good friends. Many of my closest friends have also left the church which might say something about birds of a feather. On the other hand, two I can think of actually work for the church so who knows. At least one of my mission buddies posts here.

I think I learned to be a better husband. I remember thinking at the time, "If I can get along with this dickhead, I can get along with anyone." Marriage is way easier.

I had a good mission president. He was not a numbers pusher and he was genuinely kind. After hearing stories from a lot of other people, I can't believe my luck in getting a decent one. For that matter, my branch president in the MTC was also a singular human being. I got lucky twice.

I was lucky enough to be called on a mission during the time when they were 18 months for elders also. I don't think I could have done the full two years.

The Bad:

It was stressful. My dad died right before I left. I never dealt with the emotion and thus was left to deal with it in the mission field. I barely made it. I was seriously depressed. I was homesick a lot. My friends, for the most part non-mormon, would write me letters about their college experiences and all the sex they were having (no joke) and that was hard to take.

I was sick a alot. I probably lost 30-40 pounds. I was pretty unhealthy most of the time I was there. I pushed myself to work through the pain because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Faith only gets you so far though.

Unlike some I've heard about, my mission experiences probably helped to keep me active for years longer than otherwise. I was truly converted. Shoot, I already totally believed in it all, but I believed even more afterwards. Some of my experiences and feelings from the mission kept me on cruise control for years.

Companion issues. Out of all of the companions I had, I really only had two or three that I truly liked and got a long with well. One that I definitely couldn't stand and a couple I just tolerated.

I was way behind with school. I didn't go at all before the mission because my birthday was the fall after high school. I thought they more or less just shipped you off. By the time I learned otherwise, it was too late. I could have gotten two full semesters in if I had known that. As it was, I didn't start college at all until I was 21. -Zim

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The very best thing about my mission? I didn't have to go on one!

I took control of my own life at seventeen and never more was burdened by the morg. Damn fortunate I'd say. Wasn't cursed with a BS degree in Bigotry from YUB either. -MooseHaus