What The Hell?

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

I am sick. SICK!

I just caught up with an online friend who shared a little nugget from her husbands Stake Bishopric meeting.  For the record, as she stated clearly online, she did not post the information with her husband's permission.  She is the one who made the decision to share the information, so all those who want to get him into trouble for this are barking up the wrong tree.  Period.  

This is a copy of the post she made on a message board.  I use this with her permission, and I thank her again for allowing me to use it! 

I had to sleep on this overnight to make sure it was the right thing to post this, because I really don’t want to take a risk of getting my DH in hot water right now. This information comes from Stake Bishopric Meeting (a meeting held once per month where the Stake Presidency counsels all of the bishops and their counselors), and I’m sure the content of those meetings are not meant to be shared unless instructed to do so. For this reason, I’m not even asking DH’s permission, which might sound really bad, but it’s for his own protection. If the priesthood leaders who presume they preside over me ever somehow caught wind that I post on this site, it wouldn’t be difficult for them to find which one is me, I’m sure. So let me make it clear that it’s my decision and my decision alone to pass this along.  

So with that said, as most of you probably know, my DH is the 1st counselor in the bishopric. Btw, he has asked to be released because he feels he needs to be spending his time with his family right now as our children and I make this difficult transition out of the church, but the bishop is dragging his feet, and we both agree that he is stalling because he believes that I’m going to come to my senses. Anyway, he came home last night from Stake Bishopric Meeting in a TERRIBLE mood. When I asked him what was wrong, he at first refused to tell me because he was afraid I would be too angry. A little bit later he went up to bed obviously stewing, so I again asked him to please tell me what was wrong. He started with how he had first attended Round Table where they discussed collecting for Friends of Scouting and doing the re-chartering—both of which my DH is in charge of, and NOT happy about for many reasons that I won’t get into. So with that sour taste in his mouth, he then walks into SBM, only to have the topic of discussion be Proposition 8. Apparently, a letter was sent down to the Stake President, signed by the 1st Presidency, stating the church’s stance. My DH didn’t get to actually read the letter, but copies were passed out to each bishop with instruction that if they hear of any member or their wards opposing the church’s position, they are to be reported to the Stake President immediately. (The worst part for me is that our SP’s own brother whom he claims to love is gay.) The SP went on to state how there were people in our area who were collecting money to oppose the Proposition, and this was unacceptable. Hmmm. So apparently it’s okay for bishops to put collection boxes outside their offices and Stake Presidents to start web sites to collect donations to support Proposition 8, but those who oppose have no right to do the same? My DH was sickened to his core. Everything inside of him is screaming that this is wrong. Not only is he opposed to Proposition 8 himself, but he expressed how he just cannot believe that the church can justify taking such an active stance in government—obviously it goes against even our own Articles of Faith. 

I think he just lost his last bit of faith in the LDS Church. He’s been pondering about whether or not to give the bishop a date that he needs to be released by, and he will now be doing that.  

So far, I have not written a letter or signed the petition to the First Presidency on the Signing For Something web site because of the fact that my DH was in the bishopric and there is enough spotlight on our family right now without me being invited to a disciplinary counsel. I was already warned by my SP that if he finds me spreading my reasons for leaving he will not hesitate to excommunicate me, as his job first and foremost is to protect the church. Trust me, I'm not intimidated by his threat, but I'd rather not put my family through the drama. As I've contemplated whether or not it was the right thing for me to remain silent or not, I've wondered if with all those signatures that they would even really take notice of mine. Now that the SP has made it clear that he is on the lookout, I’m probably asking for it if I sign. I won’t do it without first letting my DH know of my decision, but it’s looking like Signing For Something has just recruited one more signature. 

For those who don't know, SigningForSomething.org is a website that collects letters and signatures for people who are against the church's stance in politics and human rights.  If you would like to add your signature or letter, letting the Mormon church know that they are more than out of line, please do.  The website is collecting new letters and signatures every day, and the response has been amazing.

Now, for the rest of my rant...

The church is telling people how to think, act, and believe.  It is taking the time, money and talents from it's members and using those things to push their own agenda.  

I am amazed at the number of people that have decided this issue is the last straw for them.  This is proof that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints doesn't care about equality.  How can you be a member of a church that would do this to people?

How could anyone be a member of a church that tells them what they can and can't support politically?

How could anyone with a heart not stand up and say something about it?

I hope more people do.



  1. [kɹeɪ̯ɡ̊] Says:

    Of course I KNEW the church was doing shit like this, but there's just so little proof because those involved in it are generally so beaten down or believe unquestioningly.

    I've past getting mad at the church manipulating its members. It's just sad and pathetic. I just hope that the truth about how immoral the church is becomes more common knowledge.

  1. Andee Says:

    My big brother is gay. He has been the butt of jokes, he has been bullied, he has been told that he is evil.

    My brother now drinks heavily, and I haven't heard from him in a long time.

    I wish the rest of the world would realize that he isn't broken, there isn't anything wrong with him...

    If he wasn't tormented so much when he was a teenager and young adult, his life might be very different right now. I think about it a lot. There isn't much I can do if I don't know where he is... but there is something I can do to stop this from happening to another little kid out there.

    It's people like Thomas Monson who took my brother away. I don't blame Thomas Monson for the drinking problem, that isn't my point... what I am saying is that the mindset that gays and lesbians are wrong and they need to be fixed is hurting everyone. Not just gays and lesbains... everyone.


  1. [kɹeɪ̯ɡ̊] Says:

    It most definately hurts everyone.

    The simple fact that even my sister who is a believing Mormon is angry at my parents for the way they've treated me as a result of their unthinking devotion to the church's policies shows how deep the divisions are becoming. Not only is the church's stance seperating gay children from their families, but it is forcing siblings, parents, friends to pick sides for or against a doctrine that is hateful and destructive, and just plan evil.

    I don't understand how the church cannot see that when you start alienating the faithful, believing members, you're destroying the one thing you had going for you. The church has decided to make this issue a defining one, and that is going to destroy the church, because our society is fed up with discrimination and hate, and a lot of people are beginning to finally learn that God would never want me to be treated the way I am by "Christians" simply because I'm gay.

    I'm really sorry about your brother. What most gays in the church experience growing up (especially those my age and older) is so beyond immoral and disgusting I cannot even express. When a religion, a church that professes to teach love and joy causes (yes, causes) people to experience crushing depression and be suicidal, to hate themselves that much because of whom they love, that religion has absolutely no moral authority whatsoever.

    Again, I can't even express my anger and revulsion at what the church has done to so many thousands whose only "sin" is that they were born gay (or female, or black...)

  1. Andee Says:

    You have no idea how much respect I have for you. I will never know exactly how hard it was for you, but I know it was very painful.