I'm Dreaming...

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , , ,

I took this photo today, I loved the color.

When someone leaves the Mormon Church, there is a grieving process, much like something you would go through when someone you love very much dies.

Something we loved very much did die.  Our belief died.  Our trust died.  Relationships died. Friendships died.  In some cases, those leaving the church are completely alone.  A spouse leaves with the children, extended family gossips about the horrible sins that you "must" have committed to determine the church false, or you find yourself completely without friends.  In a way, our way of life died.  We had to start over and learn things all over again.

The way our family and friends perceived us changed, and the way we looked at ourselves changed.  It's a painful process...

There was a point in our lives when we had all the answers.  We knew that we had to follow certain steps, endure to the end, and make sacrifices... but in the end we would be rewarded greatly with an eternal family in the Celestial Kingdom of heaven.  

We sat with our families in church meetings, bonding to each other as well as the doctrines that were taught to guide us.  Almost everything in our lives revolved around the church's approval. We wouldn't drink coffee or tea, we would pray daily, family home evening on Monday nights, mutual on Wednesday nights, Boy Scouts, Sunday meetings, priesthood, relief society.  The list goes on and on.

When you come to the conclusion the church can't possibly be true, and take the stance to stand up for your beliefs and not to support the church, your entire life changes.  It's one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, and I often wonder when I will stop feeling so hurt and angry. When will I have more power in my own life?  These things will come with time, I am sure.

My Mom and I went on a really long walk today, and we got to chatting about the church.  I turned to her, and said, "You know... I really wish that one apostle... someone... would just fess up and tell the truth."

I am dreaming.  That wouldn't happen.  There is no way in the world the church would ever admit it was wrong about anything.  They are, after all, supposedly run by a man who can chat with God at any given time... admitting they were wrong would mean that either God was giving them wrong information, or that they didn't know how to read the information God gave them. Yeah... that would happen.

I know that there are people out there who really believe in the Church, and they strive to be the best Mormons they can be.  These are good people, who don't hurt others or judge others.  I don't wish the things I have been through on them... but I have a hard time staying silent knowing they are being misled and lied to.

Where is the fine line I should walk here?

Do I want to bring the church down?  Is that what I am after?  Is that why I want one of the head honchos to grow a conscience and fess up?  

One thing I do know is that I will never stay silent.  I am not out to ruin a good person's faith, but I am not going to stand around while people are being mistreated.  

Ugh, ramble city... 


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Dear Mr. Monson

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , , ,

Mr. Monson,

You don't know me, but I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for my entire life (29 years).  I was born and raised in the state of Utah, a place that makes Mormonism seem normal.  Nearly everyone in my life, including parents, relatives, friends, neighbors and school teachers, would testify that the Church was true, the Book of Mormon was revelation from God, and Joseph Smith was a really swell guy.

I was raised to respect and trust church leaders.  They held callings due to revelation from God, and they would never lead the Church astray, or ask anyone to do something they felt was morally wrong.

I would like to make clear that my testimony wasn't lost due to a sin.  Many local leaders and friends that I have spoken with claim that there must be something I am hiding, or some kind of sin I want to partake in.  That is ridiculous.  I am a good person, I have always been a good person, and the Church had very little to do with that.  It comes from the wonderful parents that raised me and my willingness to stand up for what is right.  I have my faults, like everyone else, but nothing that would make me cower from the church in fear.

I wasn't offended by a ward member or local leader.  This is another excuse many church leaders throw around in meetings and speeches.  I would never abandon my entire belief system because someone in Relief Society made fun of my hair cut or claimed things about me that were untrue.  I have never once come across a person who has been in my position that left because they were "offended."  It's a way of casting us aside and conditioning others to think that we are being overly dramatic.  Being offended is a reason people might become inactive... but it's certainly not a reason for someone to change their beliefs.

Over the past year and a half, I have been reading and studying things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that were never once mentioned to me in my years of church attendance and I need to know why.  Is it because I didn't "need" the truth?  Because I couldn't understand it?  

Mr. Monson, the church has no right to make decisions on what we "need" to know and what we dont.  Your organization requires nothing but the truth from it's members.  We are told to listen to your council, and obey no matter what... thankfully, people are starting to realize that we shouldn't listen to you.

The Church always taught me to tell the truth.  The whole truth.  Lying is something that leads to more lying.  You can't get away from it.  It eventually catches up with you.  Not giving a full account of events is lying by omission.  You learn very quickly how much you can trust a person when you learn what they choose to tell you.  My father once gave me very good advice about those I should trust.  He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Andee, would you buy a used car from that person?"

Mr. Monson, I couldn't buy a used car from you.

There are literally countless ways I was lied to and decived by the Church, and instead of going over those one by one, I am simply going to explain the reason behind my future resignation. The final straw.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seems to have a real problem with allowing everyone to have equal rights.  Polygamy, preaching that those with dark skin were cursed from God and not allowed to hold the priesthood until 1978, and fighting against the ERA are just a few examples. 

I am ashamed to call myself a Mormon.  In no way are you showing that you are a true Christian or a man of God by fighting so hard to limit the rights of a group of people.  The church's actions in the cases of Andrew Callahan and Chad Hardy show that members are not allowed to form their own opinions or political ideals.

Many of my friends have been vocal about disagreeing with the Church's stance on Proposition 8 in California, and they have been met with threats of excommunication and other discipline.  You are trying so hard to make your members do what you say, that you don't realize you are wrong.

You are wrong, Mr. Monson.

You don't know God.


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Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

I found this on Meridian Magazine's website.  I know the article is about Strong-willed children, but the phrase "How and why teaching your child self-esteem may backfire" made me cringe. 

The Surrendered Life 
Excerpt from Parenting the Strong-Willed Child


How and why teaching your child self-esteem may backfire.

By Kevin Hinckley

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My Favorite TBM Comments

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

Photo by seq

The following are examples of comments that I receive from believing Mormons.  I am not angry with them, I am angry with the leaders of the church who continue to lie and cover up history.  

They dont' see it that way.

Sometimes I get frustrated with this kind of thing, but most of the time I feel sorry for them. If they only knew the truth... 


I hope that you truly understand and recognize the position that you as a "former LDS member" have put yourself in. Good luck to you -anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You obviously think I am making a huge mistake by sharing this information with the world, and you are entitled to that opinion. However, you are coming from a position of assuming you are correct... my research has led me to a completely different conclusion, and if you did the research as well, you might just agree with everything I have to say.

I do truly understand and recognize the position I have put myself in.

I refuse to sit back and see my friends and family lied to. I refuse. 

Next time, post with your real name... what are you afraid of? :) Wait, you probably don't want people to know you are even reading my blog, do you?

Interesting when you have to hide what you read from the "brethren" isn't it? Red flag buddy. Red. Flag.


You obviously don't know anything at all. Your facts are all screwed up, but then again you wouldn't do something as stupid as this if you didn't hold some kind of grudge. Grow up and get over it. -Anonymous

Wow, do tell me which facts I have wrong. Please. Explain it.

The church is lying to people, and I am not stupid. I am far from it. I probably know more about Mormon history than you. Again, if I am so stupid and so wrong prove it.

As for holding a grudge, you are right. I was lied to, treated horribly, and I am really pissed about it. I am going to do everything I can to make sure that anyone reading my blog gets the real truth.

Again, if you are going to come to the blog and say things, why are you hiding behind anonymous comments? If you are so proud of your knowledge of Mormon history and facts, use your name. What are you afraid of? Don't be a coward. -Andee


you just don't get it haven't you ever felt the spirit ever you are horrible -anonymous

I have a hard time believing someone being as rude and judgmental as you are right now is feeling much of any real spirit.

I am not horrible.

You on the other hand are dishing out very personal insults to someone you don't even know.

If you want to discuss things here, be civil. It is possible. If you can't get your point across in an adult manner you shouldn't post at all. It shows how little you really know about the subject. -Andee


i believe in this church with my whole heart. i am only fourteen. but i know this church is true. there are some things we just cant fully explain. we have to have faith in god. my parents "secret underwear" are actually called garmets. they are sacred and you problbly shouldnt show pictures of them online. that wasnt very nice. the comments you make are rude and sarcastic, they hurt my feelings even though i know they arent true. please take the picture off. and please take this whole website off. your not telling the truth you are telling partial truth with sarcasm, making something spiritual and rightous, sound strange and evil. thanks, Marie

Nice to meet you Marie.

I understand where you are coming from. I have been in your shoes. I was once 14, and when I was that age I believed the exact same things you believe right now.

I want you to understand that it isn't my goal to be sarcastic, rude, and I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. Unfortunately, I am telling the truth. I wish I was full of crap and the church was everything it claims to be, but it's not.

I know what garments are. I know what they stand for, and I know that many people consider them sacred. I get that. You don't need to keep something secret because it's sacred to you. The only reason people do keep it a secret is because the church tells them to. If they symbols on the garments represent something holy, why in the world would it be a secret? Wouldn't you want to share that info with the world and get more people to see where you are coming from?

I am not going to change my post or take out any of the photos. 

I am also not going to take my website down. As convinced as you are that I am wrong and spreading lies, I am equally convinced that I am correct. I have done the research.

You mentioned that I am only sharing parts of the truth. What is it that I said to make you think that? Do you realize that the church tells half-truths?

You are only 14 years old, and I respect you for taking the time to voice your opinion. There is nothing on my website that is false. Nothing. If you believe different, that is okay... but it's my right to voice my opinion as well. The freedom of speech belongs to everyone, right?

Good luck to you, I mean that. Next time, I would really appreciate it if you gave me examples of what I said that was false, sarcastic, and rude. I don't mean that in a nasty way, I would just like to know what it is that you are talking about.

Thanks for reading my blog, and good luck. -Andee


Hey Sydney,

You say on a few occasions in this thread that you in deed have done your homework by checking your references. 

Will you be so kind as to give me the reference for the following statement.

"The Mormon Church has, in the past, baptized Jews who died in concentration camps into the Mormon Church, and when family members found this out, sued the Mormon Church... and won." 

Thank you


Here are a couple sources Carl...


Mormons Aim to Stop 'Baptism' of Holocaust Victims

by Howard Berkes http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4586805

Here are more links for LDS people baptizing holocaust victims... even though EHL is correct with his assessment.


I have many more, let me know if you need them. -Andee


I absolutely love all of the anti-mormon "facts" that exist out there. So informative, so helpful, and they way they enrich peoples lives is truely honorable. I hope that all of the anti-mormons and on the fence folks out there understand one thing, anyone can manipulate "facts" actually there is a whole profession out there dedicated to it, it's called politics. So you can stop missrepresenting your facts as truth and quit lying to people about the Mormon church, it's unhealthy for you and simply not true. Just because you didn't have the faith it took to get over the things about the church you didn't or more likely couldn't understand doesn't give you the right post our sacred ordinances online. Nothing you say or do will stop the progress of the church, in fact people like you drive investigators to the missionaries doorsteps every day. So I am asking you to end your blog, effective immediately, or I will do some research on windy sydney and start posting all of your missdeeds and the real reasons you left the church, which for everyone else out there is 99% due to sin, ie drug or alcohol abuse, or sexual missdeeds. So this is your opportunity to start making good choices, I will check this blog in 36 hours if I find it, I will begin revealing who you really are to the world. Yes I am a mormon and yes I am far from perfect and yes I will follow through on this. Leave the sacred alone or I will become a thorn to you. Don't believe me, just ask the guy who made the movie God Makers what his life was like after he was revealed to be a lying fraud like you. You have 36 hours from now. Start erasing. -Anonymous (The Spear)

Dearest Anonymous,

I do love that you come to my blog and assume that I am of course, wrong. Did you ever stop to think for one minute that you might be wrong? Of course not! You are obviously right and I must be an apostate scum.

You are the one who doesn't have the facts right buddy. Do the research and prove me wrong.

Please. -Andee


When I was a missionary I met so many missinformed people just like you. I don't assume anything for one, and in fact doubts are healthy when one wishes to seek truth. Problem is you and every other anti out there do nothing more than twist words and phrases to conform to your views. And then have the audacity to come back with excuses like, "oh you can get a warm fuzzy feeling from this or that", to try and manipulate people into thinking that praying for truth is an invalid way to find it. I'm not going to try and convince you and you sure won't convince me and in reality you have literally no influence on anyone, you are a nobody and will likely remain as such, that said the reason I am taking the time to write this is because you offended God and myself by placing those sacred things online. If I were you I wouldn't be waisting my time writing your thoughtless replies, and start erasing the stuff you have on here, the clock is ticking. 29 hours to go. -Anonymous (The Spear) 

29 hours to go? What exactly are you going to do? Please. I am not afraid of you, nor should I be.

I know for fact I haven't lied in any part of this post, and your lack of any proof otherwise is obvious.

Take your threats and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. :) 

By the way, if you are so proud of your knowledge of the "truth" why won't you use your name? It's really easy to post threats anonymously... why not back them up with your name. Oh... wait... you probably wouldn't want people that you know to hear you talking like this. After all, it isn't very loving and Christ-like, is it?

Man up. Use your name. -Andee


Don't all of you anti-mormon dunnces wish that I were making physical threats. But if you had really understood the first post you would know what I am referring to. In history we learn of the Crusades where Christians and Muslims fought eachother for both Jerusalem and it's Holy relics. My mission here is very much a crusade in it's own right, the difference being that instead of bloody sword fights I will simply just expose you for what you are, a fraud. And since your little buddy eight hour lunch decided to chime in they can consider themselves next. You criticize me for remaining anonymous yet don't give your full names either. And yes Jesus did associate with sinners but again what you anti's forget is that he didn't associate with the Saducees and Pharasees which is what you all are. So as far as my name it's Peter but to make my crusade against anti-mormon hypocrisy complete you may refer to me as The Spear. Not only will I poke holes in your "facts" but I will expose every anti-mormon person on your page. All of them will blame you for their fall. I will begin with you Sydney, next will be eight hour lunch, then Landon, then your australian buddy who defiled the sacred garments, then the so called Pastor. And I will continue down the line until my crusade is finished. Even Jesus had his limit with fools defiling the Sacred, remember the part of the Bible where he used a whip to forcible remove people from the Temple? Probably not, well he did and what I am doing is the same I asked you to not defile the Sacred and instead you decided to mock it even further. So part one of my riddle is this: fact, Christopher Columbus wasn't looking for an alternative spice route to India when he landed in the Americas, so then what was he really looking for? If you can answer that you will begin to see what is fact and what is fiction, you work with fiction not fact yet most people accept it because it's an easier pill to swallow, that doesn't make it fact. I am a fair man you now have 11.5 hours. Start erasing. -Anonymous (The Spear)



I feel bad for you on the other side.

I think it's pretty sad that you have wasted such time on proving a religion wrong with false facts.

Maybe you should get a life. -Anonymous

I have yet to have anyone tell me where my lies are. Please, prove me wrong. What are my lies? Do tell. -Andee



You grew in the church and yet you never know where you are standing. 

I truly believed to what anonymous said. And I to myself, know that the Church is true. And someday, this blog that you created will be a standing testimony against you.



With all due respect, I truly know where I stand. I truly "know" things because I have scientific evidence. God gave me a mind, and I am going to use it.

I don't need people stopping by to "warn" me about my blog and my eternal salvation. It's not only none of your business, it's out of line for any true-believing Mormon who shouldn't judge others. You know that, right? Just checkin. -Andee


While looking for a picture of the Logan temple I stumbled upon your site by accident. I believe that everyone is entitled to have their own opinions. However, I find it very interesting that ex-LDS members always find it worthwhile to spend massive amounts of time creating websites,etc. focused on trying to destroy others faith. Just because I don't agree with the Catholics or the Jews, I don't criticize or disrespect what they believe. Whether you believe or not, it seems pretty ridiculous to post pictures of people in their garments on a blog. I don't care what you do with it in the future because I won't be visiting this site again, but for your own sake it might be wise to find something better to do with your time. -Anonymous

Dearest Anonymous,

I am glad you believe everyone is entitled to our own opinions. 

What you don't seem to understand, is that the LDS Church isn't giving the believing members the whole story... the whole truth.

You can sit back and tell me how much you "don't care" what I do here, but you obviously do. You posted here, didn't you?

You might come to know that more and more people are leaving the Mormon church because they are learning what I learned. This website is for them. Who knows, maybe you will be one of those people one day. I certainly never thought I would be doing this...

Toodles, and good luck. -Andee


Why is it nessicary to post these offensive pictures? aren't you ashamed of yourself? -Anonymous


Why are you offended by pictures of underwear and handshakes? What is so offensive? Just because you think these things should be hidden doesn't make them offensive.

It's all about free speech my friend, and no, I am not ashamed of myself. I sleep very, very well at night.

Voicing my opinion and sharing what I know is what I do here. If you don't like it, you can go elsewhere.

Toodles. -Andee


you don't deserve polite conversation, Take the damn pictures down. -Anonymous


It's you who doesn't deserve polite conversation.

No, I will not take the photos down. What gives you the right to tell me what to do?

Free speech, deal.- Andee


This is the first Anti-mormon reading that i have seen.
It saddens me too see this
Im 15 years old...Struggleing mormon but some were in me I know the teachings are true.
You definitly have your own right to your opinion.
I just dont understand this site the true point of writeing it.
Are you trying to educate people with false disturbing facts? it seems wrong to me
But best of luck
sorry that something happened were you lost your faith.
The church Is always there for you even if you are not there for it -Anonymous


I understand that you are only 15 years old, and that you believe deeply in the religion you are in. I am not trying to shake your faith, I didn't seek you out or ask you to read this. You did that yourself.

I have no lied, nor have I spread any "false disturbing facts." Please tell me which of my statements are false?

Good luck to you as well. -Andee


how ironic, I came upon your website because I googled temple pictures so I could put a picture of the temple on my new post that includes my testimony. I don't even know if you'll read this comment because you have so many, but for what it's worth you are entitled to your opinion, and it looks as though you have devoted your time and energy to the destroying of the lords church, and ironic enough I have devoted my time and energy to the building up of the lord's church. I'm sad to hear of your recent exit. -Anonymous


Yeah... the irony.

It's fairly obvious that this is the only article on my website that you have read. You don't really have any idea what I am about or what my intentions are.

Good luck, 



I hope you know how disappointed your Heavenly Father is in you and that you have taken something SO sacred and exposed it to those who aren't worthy of it (yourself included) I pray that the Lord can forgive you in some future day and if not I hope you find the happiness you are searching for without the church. You need to rethink your blog a little bit....you are VERY VERY disappointing and a prime example why SO many people hate the LDS church. Good luck to you in the future eternities. I would hate to be in your shoes.... -Anonymous


I hope you know how disappointed your Heavenly Father is in you that you feel the need to judge others. Way to be Christ-like.

You have no idea how much the Mormon church has lied to you, if you don't like the site, don't come back.

Seems pretty straightforward to me. -Andee


this sight is nothing more than an outlet for hatred and bigotry. If great is the joy of he who brings a single soul to Christ, then what kind of misery waits for those who attempt to poison the minds of our bretheren in Christ?-Anonymous


The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints kept the priesthood away from blacks until 1979. They taught that african americans and others with dark skin were here to represent evil on the earth.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is actively trying to take rights from those in the gay community.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints treats women as if they are second class citizens.

How, exactly, am *I* the bigot? How am I showing hatred? The only thing I am doing is actually talking about these issues, whereas you would probably ignore them and hope they disappear.

I don't hate you for being in the church, you probably have no idea that they are keeping stuff from you as a member. One day, you might realize it. 

Good luck,


That comment about blacks is completly false, No where in the church is it taught that dark skin represents evil. Even in the times of the ancient apostles there was reluctance when they were told to preach to every nation, But when the priesthood was given to every worthy male in 1979, it was accepted with open arms. And if you wish to attack the book of Mormon there are plenty of the same situations described in the bible as well.
As for the gay rights, it is not up to the will men to redefine the term "Marriage" which was invented by God for the purpose of unionizing a man and a woman. Ephesians chapter 5; "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 
Husbands love your wives, Even as Christ also loved the Church, and Gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. 
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
For this cause should a man leave his father and mother and shal be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh." -anonymous

Anonymous, here are some examples of what I am talking about...

President Brigham Young:

"Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African Race? If the White man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so." (Journal of Discourses 10:110)

President Joseph Fielding Smith:

"There is a reason why one man is born black and with other disadvantages, while another is born white with great advantages. The reason is that we once had an estate before we came here, and were obedient, more or less, to the laws that were given us there. Those who were faithful in all things there received greater blessings here, and those who were not faithful received less." (Doctrines of Salvation, p. 61)

Apostle Bruce R. McConkie:

"Negroes in this life are denied the priesthood; under no circumstances can they hold this delegation of authority from the Almighty. The gospel message of salvation is not carried affirmatively to them... Negroes are not equal with other races where the receipt of certain spiritual blessings are concerned…" (Mormon Doctrine, p. 343)

Apostle Mark E. Petersen:

"God has commanded Israel not to intermarry. To go against this commandment of God would be in sin. Those who willfully sin with their eyes open to this wrong will not be surprised to find that they will be separated from the presence of God in the world to come. This is spiritual death…

"The reason that one would lose his blessings by marrying a Negro is due to the restriction placed upon them. "No person having the least particle of Negro blood can hold the Priesthood" (Brigham Young). It does not matter if they are one-sixth Negro or one-hundred and sixth, the curse of no Priesthood is the same. If an individual who is entitled to the Priesthood marries a Negro, the Lord has decreed that only spirits who are not eligible for the Priesthood will come to that marriage as children. To intermarry with a Negro is to forfeit a "Nation of Priesthood holders…

"The discussion on civil rights, especially over the last 20 years, has drawn some very sharp lines. It has blinded the thinking of some of our own people, I believe. They have allowed their political affiliations to color their thinking to some extent, and then, of course, they have been persuaded by some of the arguments that have been put forth…We who teach in the Church certainly must have our feet on the ground and not to be led astray by the philosophies of men on this subject…

"I think I have read enough to give you an idea of what the Negro is after. He is not just seeking the opportunity of sitting down in a cafe where white people eat. He isn't just trying to ride on the same streetcar or the same Pullman car with white people. It isn't that he just desires to go to the same theater as the white people. From this, and other interviews I have read, it appears that the Negro seeks absorption with the white race. He will not be satisfied until he achieves it by intermarriage. That is his objective and we must face it. We must not allow our feelings to carry us away, nor must we feel so sorry for Negroes that we will open our arms and embrace them with everything we have. Remember the little statement that we used to say about sin, 'First we pity, then endure, then embrace'…

"Now let's talk about segregation again for a few moments. Was segregation a wrong principle? When the Lord chose the nations to which the spirits were to come, determining that some would be Japanese and some would be Chinese and some Negroes and some Americans, He engaged in an act of segregation…

"When he told Enoch not preach the gospel to the descendants of Cain who were black, the Lord engaged in segregation. When He cursed the descendants of Cain as to the Priesthood, He engaged in segregation…

"Who placed the Negroes originally in darkest Africa? Was it some man, or was it God? And when He placed them there, He segregated them…

"The Lord segregated the people both as to blood and place of residence. At least in the cases of the Lamanites and the Negro we have the definite word of the Lord Himself that he placed a dark skin upon them as a curse -- as a punishment and as a sign to all others. He forbade intermarriage with them under threat of extension of the curse. And He certainly segregated the descendants of Cain when He cursed the Negro as to the Priesthood, and drew an absolute line. You may even say He dropped an Iron curtain there…

"Now we are generous with the Negro. We are willing that the Negro have the highest education. I would be willing to let every Negro drive a Cadillac if they could afford it. I would be willing that they have all the advantages they can get out of life in the world. But let them enjoy these things among themselves. I think the Lord segregated the Negro and who is man to change that segregation? It reminds me of the scripture on marriage, 'what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.' Only here we have the reverse of the thing - what God hath separated, let not man bring together again.

"Think of the Negro, cursed as to the priesthood…This Negro, who, in the pre-existence lived the type of life which justified the Lord in sending him to the earth in their lineage of Cain with a black skin, and possibly being born in darkest Africa--if that Negro is willing when he hears the gospel to accept it, he may have many of the blessings of the gospel. In spite of all he did in the pre-existent life, the Lord is willing, if the Negro accepts the gospel with real, sincere faith, and is really converted, to give him the blessings of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. If that Negro is faithful all his days, he can and will enter the celestial kingdom. He will go there as a servant, but he will get celestial glory." (Apostle Mark E. Peterson, Race Problems - As They Affect The Church, Convention of Teachers of Religion on the College Level, Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah, August 27, 1954) 

Get back to me. -Andee


So, it is true that once you have abandoned your beliefs in pursuit of sin you cannot leave the Church nor its members alone. The real question becomes then what is your sin that you are not willing to give up?-Stewbacca


I killed a man just to watch him die... then to cover up my crime I assumed a new identity as a young woman in search of her soul. Then, as luck would have it, Satan himself came to me and told me I could have all the money and power in the world if I gave him my soul. I took him up on the offer right away.

Since then, I have been eating small children, stealing the life savings from senior citizens, and laughing like maniac.

Oh, lets not forget the sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Lots of drugs, too. Heroin, X... you name it. I would tell you more, but I am late for a drive by shooting and then we are knocking off a gas station. I get to hold the GUN! -Andee

That was truly a terrible attempt at an evasion. I doubt that you have ever held a gun much less fired one. I would bet that you spend your time thinking about how much you have been wronged and by whom. Poor little girl had it all but couldn't deal with the stress of "perfection". You would make the deal with the devil for just a little more of whatever it is that you "need". I will not debate the truth with you nor anyone of your kind because that is an exercise in futility. 

However, I wonder something. How do you excuse to yourself the breaking of promises. A promise is a promise no matter to whom you made it. You made promises and now you would go back on them and say it is ok because you never believed. That is ludicrous. I could make all sorts of promises and then just say I don't believe. Say on a car loan for example. Oh, look I want that car. Sure, I'll sign the paperwork. Uh, oh, I don't believe in car payments so I don't have to make any. And finally, be assured, I have seen bad and you ain't it. -Stewbacca


It's called sarcasm, it was a joke... not evasion.

What do you want me to tell you? I drink Diet Coke and coffee? I don't sin! Who the hell does anyone think they are asking someone that question? It's invasive and insulting to say the least.

What *you* are trying to do is evasion. You are trying to take the focus off the issues I have with the church, which are valid by the way, and on me. I haven't done anything to warrant that kind of thinking. You are out of bounds and out of line. 

You are trying so hard to hurt my feelings or make me upset that I find it comical. I am not trying to be some "poor little girl." That is a label you put on me, not one I painted for myself.

You are trying so freaking hard to make this my fault. It's not. The church isn't what it claims to be...like it or not that is how it is.

The things you are implying are outrageous. Take a step back, look in the mirror, and ask yourself if Heavenly Father would be proud of the way you are judging me. Please.

You claim I need self-examination, and that speaks volumes for you. 

Again... sarcasm... look it up. Duh... -Andee


Sometimes these people make my head hurt.


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Cool Stuff

Posted by: Andee / Category:

Here are some random products found on Unique Daily.  If you haven't been to this website, you are missing out.  Some of the things discussed on Unique Daily can be NSFW (not safe for work) so you might want to browse there on your home computer. 

Harry Organiser and Accessory Holder

Harry is designed to creatively organize your everyday conventional stuff and be used in an unlimited number of places and spaces such as the office, kitchen, bathroom, garage, bedroom, entryway, closet, or wherever your imagination takes you.

Nordic Rock: Stone Ice Cubes

Nordic Rock is mined from ancient Swedish pollution-free base rock. It is the purest way of cooling your drink - literally 'on the rocks'. Stone does not melt, which means no unclean water in your glass. They are also reusable making them very eco-friendly.

Inflatable Floating Swimming Pool Cooler

With room for 18 cans and labeled cup holders, this raft is the ultimate inflatable cooler. Perfect for pools or lounging in the lake, your cooler float has an insulated center compartment for cans and ice surrounded by an inflatable ring with six built-in cup holders to keep everyone's cans accessible and easy to identify.

Castle Villa Carton

The castle is a play-house made of cardboard. It's interior is a life-size coloring page and its white exterior can be colored and decorated as per one's imagination.

Lockable Outlet Safe

Lockable outlet safe keeps valuables safely concealed. Looks like an ordinary electrical wall socket but opens into a secure mini vault.

Inflatable Football Pitch

Most of us have played football at some point in our lives. Well now football has just become a lot more fun and even more exciting. No longer will you be watching the Premiership on TV, you'll be in the garden living the dream.


Job Interview? Briss? Court Appearance? Yes, a necktie is definitely called for, and not a clip-on! No problem...relax, take a deep breath, remember your days in the boy scouts, and study the oh-so-easy knot-tying instructions printed right on Fred’s handy How Tie. 

The Floating restaurant table

Part restaurant table, part BBQ, part lounge and part water activity platform, this electric-powered, water-going party platform for ten is primarily ai

med at the rental market where its versatility makes it suitable for myriad applications. Indeed, it’s an entrepreneurs’ dream.

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Posted by: Andee / Category:

I don't know if I believe in ghosts or not... probably not... although, if I have learned anything over the past year and a half it's that anything is possible.  Not logical, but possible.  The more I learn about photography, the more I understand that these photos can be manipulated in many ways to make them appear to be something they are not.  Who knows?

I have always been interested in all thing paranormal. These are photos from a website called GhostStudy.com.  I don't own these photos or stories, and I don't pretend to. Please check out GhostStudy.com for a HUGE list of ghostly photos. I have shared a couple of these before, but most are new. Check the website out if you have time.  It's pretty cool.

Anthony writes, "This photo was taken last summer and to us it looks like there is a women behind the steering wheel! Please help us to figure out what is going on here?

Picture taken July 2004
Ferry from Dover to Calais (Ferry name Pride Of Aquillia)
We were on our way to Spain; I took a photo using my mobile phone of my wife and 
daughter standing on the deck of the ferry. They were leaning against the white rails you see behind them. As I said, I took the picture and sent it back to a friend in the UK who sent me a text back straight away asking who the person in the center is???? We looked at the photo again after receiving this text and realized that there is a figure standing between my wife and daughter which I didn’t notice when I took the picture. The head is visible but if you look where the torso should be where is it?  

My wife said that to her it felt that our daughters head was resting against her hair but as you can see it wasn’t. As I have said they were both leaning against the rails and it looks like the figure is either standing behind them (impossible no deck just a drop into the sea) or between them.
Also if you look at the rails they are white but the head between my wife and daughter isn't white? It is not the thing they tie the ropes to when in port as these are on the deck and not placed on top of the rails. This is the actual image from the phone and has not been altered or resized in anyway, this is why it is so small. It looks to us to be a male with blonde hair.

Roy writes, "I work in law enforcement for a living, but I am an amateur photographer for a hobby. I was taking a picture of an old truck off of Honey Run Road in Chico, California. I swear that I saw nobody inside of this truck when I took this picture. I even walked right up to it. Later when I downloaded the picture onto my computer, I looked closer at what I thought was part of the rear window and it is clearly a face (close-up above, full image below). It appears to be looking right at me when I took this. Your thoughts? I am thoroughly creeped out."

James writes, "My aunt gave me a digital camera for my birthday and since then my wife and I go to a cemetery to take pictures from the dirt road every so often (mainly because I'm too chicken to go inside in the dark). The cemetery is only about a 1/2 mile from my house and it also has a crematorium. The cemetery was est. in 1874 so it has some old graves. I've gotten 2 pictures of small orbs but nothing like this. To me it looks like the little girl is in a hurry to go somewhere (close-up above, full image below). The only thing is, I went back during the day to take a look and the little girl would have to be only a foot and a half tall. Take a look and tell me what you think."

Tom writes, "A friend sent me a pic of a cathedral that he visited on his trip to America. when I looked at them, I noticed a ghostly figure, and what appears to be a small child, sitting on one of the chairs!!!!I pointed it out to him, and he said it definitely was not there when the photo was taken, but he had been sitting in that exact chair about a minute earlier!!!!!!!!!! weird, huh? ( P.S. I love your site)"

Mark writes, "This a picture of my girlfriend that I took with my camera phone, while we were out at a restaurant at the Burswood Casino in Perth Western Australia. I took it on the 16th Feb, 2005 but to be honest didn't really notice anything until just recently, about a month after it was taken. I've had friends tell me its probably just light glare, or dust but the image there looks way too defined and detailed for simple dust or light refractions.

Nearest I can tell, its a head of girl or old lady, possibly even an orange dress of some sort, maybe. Understand I'm a little skeptical myself but I just cant explain it. You can see the table behind it, through it, even the edge of the table is slightly distorted, refracted even when it passes behind her. Size wise, it would of had to be right behind my girlfriend, on the chair the its head hovers above. Though what makes it even weirder, is the location. A casino restaurant?

I don't know, I leave it up to you to decide what you think, but it was just too weird for me to ignore. My girlfriend wouldn't even look at it. Also there is a guy sitting behind her, you can see part of the grey t-shirt he's wearing. Now this is a non smoking area, its illegal here to smoke in enclosed restaurants. SO that rules out cigarette smoke. Though I bet a lot of smokers wish they could blow smoke faces."

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Polygamy and Gay Marriage

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

I have mentioned many times how hypocritical the church is for telling people who they can or cannot marry.  The church was told that it couldn't practice polygamy, and kept practicing it in secret until it finally stopped... what was once something needed for celestial glory became unimportant in a short time span.  No doubt the leaders of the day fought like hell to save plural marriage, but they were unsuccessful.

So, the church members know what it is like to be told who you can and cannot marry.  They dealt with that very thing and they didn't care for it.

Now they are trying to do it to someone else?  Ugh. How stupid.

Someone brought up a point that I hadn't thought much about...

What if the church is concerned that the members would feel they should again practice polygamy if they felt the law would support it?


Of course, I still think that the leaders are simply bigots who have no idea what the hell they are doing right now.  


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FlatLander's Excommunication

Posted by: Andee / Category: , ,

First, let me begin by saying that it is late, I worked a looooooong shift today, and my spelling is going to suck.  Forgive me...

A few months ago, a group of friends and I had a conversation on PostMormon.org talking about the church's stance on gay marriage.

The church claims that it isn't doing anything to tell it's members which way to vote in California (and other states) regarding gay marriage, yet they are asking wealthy members to donate money to their cause and asking other members to volunteer their time, walk door to door, and talk to other members of the church about the church's stance on the issue.  Sure... not telling them what to do... right... *insert photo of Andee rolling her eyes right here*

We were all on the message board wondering what we could do to take a stand on the issue.  I had an idea that people should have a mass resignation over the issue.  The more people agreeing to resign over this, the better.  That is one message the church can't ignore, right?  

Andrew Callahan, aka, Flatlander, put extra time and attention to a website that he named "Signing for Something."  He took the idea and ran with it.  People from all over the world have added their names and letters to the website in support of gay marriage and the church's stance on limiting rights for gay couples.  Every time I visit the website, I nod my head in agreement at the individual's choice of words for the church.  Some letters are angry, some are sad and resigned, and some are just in awe that the church could involve itself in politics in this way and still keep a tax exempt status.

Mr. Callahan knew it was only a matter of time before his involvment would raise eyebrows in the church's heirarchy... and he was right.

A couple weeks ago he had a visit from his bishop.  His bishop, who he considers a friend, wanted to give him the option of resigning his membership from the church before excommunication was discussed.  

I hopped online and saw that Flatlander (again, Mr. Callahan's screenname) had made a thread explaining what had happened to him.  There were many opinions on what he should do.  Resign and take the power away from the church?  

My advice was to make them excommunicate him.

If Mormons leave the church because they disagree with the brethren politically or otherwise, they are almost (almost, I said!) admitting they were wrong.  In my opinion, Mr. Callahan is only standing for what he believes is morally correct.  To resign for that is ridiculous.  I, along with others, told him to wait for the "court of love" and notify the press that the church was threatning him for his personal political beliefs.  I am happy to report he did just that.

Many news stations all over the country (an possibly internationally) have interviewed Andrew Callahan and shared his thoughts on the matter.  This is exactly what the church didn't want.  They wanted him to go away, and they only made it worse.

Applause, Andrew... applause my friend!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is threatening to excommunicate him because he voiced his own opinion and stood his ground publically.  They are basically saying that if you don't do what they say, you are gone.  This is something Mormons shouldn't stand for.  Ever.  Every single person out there has the right to believe and vote for what they want.  

Where would this line of thinking stop?  What if the church decided that polygamy was again needed?  Would they excommunicate people who raised their hands and said, "Ummm, what the fuck?"  

I am hopeful that the recent press that Andrew received has started conversations in the homes of people who might not otherwise consider both sides of the argument.  Conversations like these open eyes and hearts.  

Andrew, congratulations on the results of your hard work.  You are getting recognition, and you deserve every little bit of it.  You had the guts to do what many others wanted to do, but couldn't.

Thank you.


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What The Hell Was I Thinking?

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

This morning I was brewing my morning cup of Joe and I had a brief moment of clairity.

Life is good.

I walked over to my computer, opened up my browser to MSNBC.com, and then checked my email.  The coffee smelled wonderful.  I added cream and sugar, and a little touch of cinnamon. When I took the first sip, I knew that that moment would be one of the best I would have all day long.  Alone, quiet, and peaceful... yumminess.

Five years ago I wouldn't have dreamed that I would be starting my mornings this way.  My life has changed, my mind has changed, and I am so much happier.  It's all about the outlook I have now.  Instead of "enduring to the end" I am enjoying the journey.

It's with this outlook that I smile and laugh at my former self... what the hell was I thinking? Here is a small list of things that I used to believe when I had my Mormon blinders on... for those who don't know, Mormon blinders are glasses you put on that make everything the church does seem rosey and beautiful.  Do not operate heavy machinery with Mormon blinders on.  Do not mix Mormon blinders with any other kinds of medication.  If you experience any swelling in the face or buttocks, take off the blinders immediately.  Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Things I used to believe:

  1. God cared deeply if I drink coffee and tea even though there is no real explanation as to why, and hot chocolate is fine even though the word of wisdom clearly states Mormons should stay away from hot drinks.
  2. All tithing is spent in ways to help humanity.  The church gives this money to aid people who really need it.
  3. The leaders of the church would never lie to me.
  4. I wasn't fulfilling my potential as a woman because I wasn't married.
  5. I needed to pray, fast and read scriptures until getting married and being a mother sounded like fun.
  6. Being a "special spirit" was a compliment.
  7. We needed to perform ceremonies on earth in order to be with our families together in heaven.
  8. Every person I met was an opportunity to share the gospel.  These are not potential friends to accept as they are, they are potential members of the church.
  9. If people saw you in a store on a Sunday you would be in the bishops office explaining yourself within the week.
  10. Dry, monotone, whispered speaking is a sign that the spirit is present.
  11. Blessing the food to nourish and strengthen your family is good even if you are about to sit down to butter-covered potatoes and cheesecake for dessert.
  12. Calling a priesthood holder for a blessing before you go to the hospital is a good idea.
  13. It would be an honor to shake hands with the prophet.
  14. God cares if girls wear dresses to church or not.  
  15. If someone dies, it is a woman's duty to make a casserole, preferably "Funeral Potatoes" and drop them off at the house of the deceased.

Luckily, my parents were pretty cool.  They didn't force us to not play on Sunday, or wear our church clothes at home to watch conference.  They let us be kids.  It was nice.

This is neither here nor there, but when I was first researching Mormonism I went to a Mormon message board and read through some of the entries and topics.  One woman was asking the fellow women in the "relief Society" room for suggestions on keeping her children still and interested in watching general conference.  I rolled my eyes and shook my head.  This was long before I realized the whole thing was a pile of horse dung... I just couldn't believe that there were women out there trying to force their 3 year olds into church clothes and making them sit on the couch to watch boring old men talk into the microphone.

They are kids.

They don't have great attention spans.

General conference isn't for them!  Hell, they wouldn't even understand half the stuff they are talking about.

What are/were people thinking?????

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Halloween Gifts

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

It's time for another "cool things" edition of WindySydney.  These pop up from time to time, usually around holidays, and I showcase things that I think are unique and interesting.  This time, the holiday is Halloween and the items come from Perpetual Kid.  I like the website because it has made my desk fun.  I have lots of little toys and funny notepads to make me smile... you should check it out if you haven't before. 

The Ex Voodoo Knife Set


Hanging Harry Light Pull


Bone Chillers Ice Cube Tray


Dead Fred Pen Holder


Fuzz Crime Scene Scarf


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Oh, My Gawd...

Posted by: Andee / Category:

I found this on LDS.org.  It's a part of a lesson given to Young Women during the three hour block of church on Sundays.  It's a list of possible activities for the Young Women to do to learn more about Homemaking.... because we all know that a girl should be married at 18, pregnant by 19, and she shouldn't desire a career of any kind.  Here is the link...

As always, the church's quotes will be in italics, and I will voice my concerns in bold.  This is one of the reasons I became inactive when I was in high school.  They were teaching me things like this instead of how to be closer to God.

1. Invite a specialist to teach the class how to replace a faucet washer, change a fuse, repair an electric plug, unclog a sink or drain, or hang a picture.

Because these things help us to be closer to God.  What the Hell? Really?  Should we also pray before we attempt these "manly" duties so we don't burn the house down or die of electric shock?  Make sure there is a priesthood holder there, just in case someone needs a blessing.  You never know.

2. Learn correct techniques of minor clothing repair and hold a mending party with class members.

A mending party! Really? OMG! I am so excited!   We can sew buttons and patch our jeans!  Woweeee! Are the boys doing this too? No? They are playing basketball in the cultural hall? Oh. That sounds... fun.. *sigh*

3. Invite a specialist to teach the use of color, style, and fabric in clothing, and apply this information to planning clothing.

No Mormon woman is good unless she can make matching outfits for her children and family .  If you can't do it, you are not good enough.  God won't like you if you can't sew.  God cares deeply about the style and color of the fabric you choose.

4. Invite a specialist to teach what to look for when buying clothes and fabrics, how to read and understand labels, and how to care for fabrics.

Do people really have trouble with this?  They don't know how to read lables?  You need a specialist to teach it?  Good Lord, just read the freaking label!  If it says "dry clean only" don't do anything stupid.  How hard is that?

Also, I would like to know why the boys don't learn this one as well.  Are the girls supposed to do all the laundry?  It certainly looks that way.  Is it woman's work?  Silly question.

5. Invite a mother to teach the class how to bathe, dress, change, feed, and care for infants and young children, including how to comfort a fussy baby.

Because we all know that we are going to be bathing, dressing, changing, feeding, and caring for babies until we can't pop them out anymore.  Are they boys going to do this one? No?  This is all up to the girls? What are they doing? More basketball?  Bastards!

6. Invite a specialist to teach the class about money management, budgeting, and credit buying.

This one cracks me up because this should be required for ALL married COUPLES to attend together.  Why is this just for the girls? Do tell?

7. Invite a specialist to teach about home decorating, including the use of color, balance, harmony, and proportion and ways young women can improve the appearance of their homes.

This one could be fun, but how is this supposed to help us be closer to God?  Oh, wait... this is one of those little get togethers where they make plaques that say, "Families are Forever" and "I am a Child of God."  Again, this isn't exactly something that girls need to know.  None of this has anything to do with religion whatsoever.

8. Plan and hold a special food event, such as a cake-decorating party, an international food fair, a breakfast party, or a heritage cooking night.

Oh, Gawd.  

Because we are short order cooks?  Because we will have so many children that we are going to need to make our own Molly Mormon birthday cakes?  We have to make everything perfect, you know.  If you are not perfect you are covering up a sin.

9. Have a recipe-sharing party where everyone brings a favorite food for the others to sample and where recipes are exchanged.

Because girls cook and boys don't?  What the hell?

10. Hold a “creative-cookery night” by dividing the class into teams to prepare food from ingredients placed in a sack or box.

If that last one isn't proof enough that they are trying to make homemaking fun and exciting for girls so that they will want to stay home, instead of further their education or careers I don't know what is.

These little lessons pissed me off so bad as a teenager, and I can say without question that they still piss me off.  They were trying so hard to make homemaking seem like fun to me. 

I remember one Wednesday night we were making Gingerbread houses or something like that, and one of the leaders was walking around the room making comments like, "Oh, that would be lovely!  I can't wait to see you teach this to your children!"


I wish I were joking.  I do.

For the record, I don't have any problems with stay at home moms.  My own Mom stayed home with us when we were kids, and it was great.  The thing I have a problem with is how the church conditions young women to believe that this is their "divine role."

Women are so much more than wives and mothers.  Young girls should know that.


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Gingerbread Haunted House Disaster

Posted by: Andee / Category:

My Goal

As I mentioned in a post earlier this week, I bought a kit to make a haunted gingerbread house for Halloween.  I was excited to get started this morning, so I cleaned the kitchen to make sure I had a lot of surface to work with, I put on some drabby clothes in case I made a mess of myself, and I opened up the box and read the instructions.

I was trying to do everything the way it said, and I thought I was doing well until time came to build the structure of the house.  I had one wall and the front of the house put together, and I was doing my best to hold them steady so the black icing would dry.  It wouldn't dry.  Maybe I am impatient, but it was taking forever.  I had one pastry bag of black icing, and one bag of orange, and it was taking nearly all the black icing to get the walls up!  I was discouraged, and I wasn't sure what to do.

I decided to take a break and think about some options.  I have powdered sugar, eggs and water, and I had the ability to make white icing if I needed it.  I decided that the house could be a black structure with white and orange details.  Wrong.

I washed my hands and went back to the table to get back to work... and I saw it... the black pastry bag had somehow opened and there was black EVERYWHERE.  All over everything.  I could have cried.  Ugh.  It took me a while to clean up the mess.  Now my gingerbread pieces are covered in a thick film of black... maybe I can still make it work.  It can be an "artsy" house.  

I am done with it for the day.  What a freaking nightmare!


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Yeah, *I* Am Crazy!

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

I am feeling extremely sarcastic today, you have been warned. I am sick and tired of people treating me like *I* am the crazy one! 

You know, they were right.  I was just offended.  Someone must have said something to me in a Relief Society meeting that hurt my feelings.  I should just get over it and forgive and forget.

I should marry the next return missionary I meet, because any couple devoted to eternal marriage can make it work, right?  I should start popping out babies right away, and stay home to raise them... not because I want to, but because that is what God wants for me. Endure to the end, so I can pop out more babies for eternity!  That's my goal! To share my return missionary with polygamous wives in heaven and raise millions of spirit children in an eternal daycare.  Whoop-deee-freakin-do!

I must be out of my mind for leaving the one true church that could guarantee those lovely blessings... Of course, that depends... I have years and years of tithing to catch up on.  Lard knows they need my money.  How can they build a 2 billion dollar mall without me?  It's the Lords work!

I just need to read the Book of Mormon more, fast, and pray.  I need to turn to my male Priesthood holders for help.  The same ones that think standing in a circle with their hands on my head while they pray will cure me of illness or bless me in some way.  How I love their magical powers.  Yes, those special men must have a spark of wisdom for me.

Maybe they can give me a blessing to help me forget the racist comments made by past prophets and other leaders.  Or maybe they can convince me that God really did want those prophets to say such horrible things, like dark skin being a curse because they didn't choose the right side in some war before we were even born.  Yeah... that's the ticket!  That is TOTALLY believable!

Joseph Smith was never found guilty of anything... so I don't have anything to worry about there.  He only married other women because an angel threatened him with a flaming sword. It's not something he wanted to do, have sex with a bunch of women... oh, no!  He was a man of honor!  He wouldn't harm a soul, or a printing press!  Unless you count marrying other women behind Emma's back and lying to everyone else about the practice of polygamy.  It's not something we can fully understand now.  Only the Lord himself could say why Joseph was supposed to marry two 14 year old girls.   We just need to have faith.

Heck, he was a good boy with no education!  A gifted translator! Why... he even managed to translate the Book of Mormon with a rock and a hat!  Do you know anyone else that can do that?  I don't! It must be true!

What was that?  The Book of Abraham?  There is no way to know if the two papyrus were the same thing.  You are just trying to disprove his amazing ability.  You must be possessed by Satan.  The Kinderhook Plates?  Huh?  What are those?  Are you listening to those Anti-Mormons again?  Shut up and eat these funeral potatoes.

Quit whining.

The church uses incorrect paintings and illustrations to kids and investigators to make it easier to believe... *ahem* easier to understand.  These are moldable minds.  We don't want them thinking too much.  We have to remember that they are the next generation.  Who will pay for and attend the temples around the world if we don't shape them?  Everyone desires to attend the temple, they just don't know it yet.  Say it with me.  Pay-Lay-Ale.

It is not a cult.  

It's not.

Shut up.

What? You don't like the temples?  Why?  Money?  But... people want to give us that money.  It's not their money anyway... it's the Lord's money.  

Shut up.

He can spend it however he pleases.  If he wants to build a mall and condo high-rise in Salt Lake City, he can!  Don't question the prophet!  If people are sick and hungry it's God's will.  The mall is more important.

Coffee?  Are you going to risk your temple recommend and eternal salvation for coffee?  You just want to sin, don't you?  Are you sleeping around?  Oh, my God... you are gay, aren't you! 

You can't even make the simplest sacrifice.  You are a selfish person.  I know these things because I am one of the elite.  I can look in your eyes and see that you are broken without the Church.  Even the good ones fall away.

Yeah, *I* am the crazy one.


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Another Change

Posted by: Andee / Category:

Maybe there is something wrong with my life right now.  I keep wanting and desiring change.  I have done things like change the blog around a million times in a month, I have gone vegetarian, and I chopped off all my hair the other day.  Not too short, it's about chin length now... 

When believing Mormons who hate my guts read that previous paragraph, they are going to assume that I am desiring change because I am unhappy.  Not true.  I am happy, and I am learning to try new things.  It's fun, and I learn more about myself every day.

It's just weird... I used to hate change, now I desire it.  I thrive on it.  It makes me feel alive.

Maybe the healing process is starting to kick in, or maybe I am just a weirdo who thinks too much... who knows?

I am still working on the lengthy post that I promised everyone.  You might not even care about it, but I don't want anyone to think I am getting bored of the blog or that I am planning on quitting.  This is probably something I will do until I am dead and in the ground.  

I bought some Halloween food kits the other day, and I am going to work and post about those, too.  One is a gingerbread haunted house, and the other is a Halloween candy kit.  It should be fun, and I have extra candy to add to the haunted house.  Who knows, maybe I will get enough practice in that I will try a Gingerbread house at Christmas!

There hasn't been much else going on... just lots of work and then more work.  I am not forgetting you guys! I have Wednesday and Thursday off, and I plan on updating the Hell out of this blog... promise :)


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Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

I get frustrated when I talk politics with people in Utah.  Everyone is usually in the same mindset:

Vote Republican, Vote Mitt Romney, Obama = bad, McCain = hero.

The other day I was talking with a co-worker in the break room about politics.  I didn't start the conversation... the other girl did.  She was sitting across the table with a copy of the Ensign in front of her and she started asking me questions.  She knows I don't "care" for the church, and she was one of the first to notice the CTL ring on my left hand.  I don't think she was trying to pick a fight, but I do think she was eager to debate with me.

She asked me who I was going to vote for.

I told her I was voting for Obama.

She asked why I was voting for "Osama."


Why in the world can't you just get his last name right.  He isn't Osama Bin Laden, terrorist in need of kidney transplant... he is Barak Obama, presidential candidate.  

After correcting her on the name, I told her that I agree more with Obama's policy than McCain, and the fact that Sarah Palin made rape victims pay for their own rape kits at the hospitals (this is a rumor I heard, and I have no evidence of it... when I had a couple days off I plan on researching it further) really pissed me off.  I am a femminist, and she isn't.  I don't care for the woman.  At all.

I want the troops home, and she wants them guarding the safety of Iraq.  I get that Iraq needs help, and we should have never been there to begin with.  When I mentioned that, she looked at me like I had grown a third eye or something.  She couldn't believe that I said it.

"We are there to help those poor people!"

"We went there because there were supposedly weapons of mass destruction... they were never found... this was about weapons.  There were no weapons."

"They destroyed the evidence!"

"Yeah, sure they did."

"How do you know there were no weapons?"

"How do you know there were weapons?"

"I listen to the radio! Where do you get your information."

"I watch CNN, Headline news, MSNBC and others constantly when I am home.  I am constantly on my computer..."

"You can't trust the news! They hate republicans! You need to listen to AM Radio! Why don't you like Bush?"

"Why would I like him?  He shouldn't even be president in the first place!  He didn't win the popular vote, and it just so happened that his little brother was governor of the state he needed help from?  Shady much?  Oh, and don't even get me started on the economy..."

"The economy isn't Bush's fault.  It's that black guy!"

I walked out.

Here is the thing.  I hate talking religion and politics at work unless I know it's with someone who can handle it.  There are only a couple people that I can have meaningful conversations with, and I treasure those moments... trust me.  I can't believe that most of the people I come into contact with have no problem calling Obama "Osama."  They think nothing of it.  Not just at work, either... I heard an older couple at Wal-Mart (Gawd, I hate Wal-Mart) talking about Obama being a terrorist in disguise.

This story was 100% true, not made up, and I have the ulcer to prove it.


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My Apologies

Posted by: Andee / Category:

Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a couple days.  I have been busy working on my photos I took this week.  

Yesterday we had a small storm and then a HUGE beautiful rainbow right outside my apartment.  I must have snapped 100 shots of the thing.  I really wanted to catch some lightning, but I had no luck.  

I am working on a post that you will all like (I think) and its a lot of work.  

Don't worry my friends, Andee will be back.  :D

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Wake Up!

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , , ,

I have already posted about this twice today, but I can't stop thinking about it.  So, here comes yet another rant, from yours truly, about why everyone should have the same rights.  Ignore me if you want, you have probably heard it before :)

My big brother is gay.  He is an artist, he can draw like you wouldn't believe... amazing sketches of movie characters, horses, and landscapes once decorated my bedroom because my big brother was that good.  

I remember one Christmas sitting down with my brothers with our new coloring books and crayons that Santa left us.  My little bro and I couldn't figure out why Steve's (his name has been changed because I don't have his permission to out him like this... that would be really messed up...) pictures were so much better than ours.  Steve sat down and showed us that if we colored the image using the same stroke instead of changing the direction of our crayon all the time, the image would look cleaner.  He also taught us how to outline the image in a darker shade to give it depth.  I will never forget sitting with him, and I still use those techniques when I feel artsy enough to sit down with a coloring book.  Not only is he an amazing artist... he is a teacher.  Little Bro and I picked up his techniques in less than a half hour.  He was patient and kind, and I still think he could have a huge career teaching what comes naturally to him.

Steve lived with his Mom, so I don't know the details about his daily life... I love him very much, and I remember looking forward to the weekends where he would stay with us.  I would plan little games to play, and they drove him crazy.  Little bro and I annoyed the hell out of him. :)

One day, Steve told us that he made up a game for us to play.  Little bro and I were excited, and we asked Steve what the name of the game was... he said, "Find Steve!"  It was a version of hide and seek, using the entire block we lived on.  Little bro and I searched high and low for Steve, but we didn't find him.  We eventually gave up, and started waiting for him on the picnic table in the backyard.  Steve came home a couple hours later, and we found out he was playing at one of his friends' house.  He tricked us, but we didn't care.  We were excited for him to be there... and we had fun.

Steve never dated, and I am sure my parents, along with his mother, had thoughts that he might be gay.  It was never really talked about.  Little bro and I were too little to even understand what being gay meant.  It didn't matter. He was a brother and we loved him.

This is what I don't understand... why do people change how they feel when they learn someone they already know and love is gay?  Is it religion?  I don't think so... probably for most, but the common denominator in my eyes is that it makes others judge them. It's not about their gay or lesbian friend or family member being happy... it's about how other people will look at them.  It's really selfish and messed up.  

I haven't heard from Steve in many years.  I am pretty sure I know what town and state he lives in, but that is about it.  Last I heard he was in trouble with the law because he was caught drinking and driving.  He was also drinking heavily at a family function, and it seemed to my family members that he might have a problem (I was unable to attend and didn't see it first hand, because I was in Orlando at the time).  

I wonder where Steve is all the time.  Is he happy?  Does he have someone in his life?  Is he okay?  Does he know that I love him no matter what?  I wish I didn't have to worry about that.  

I wonder if Steve's life would have been different if he wasn't gay.  He was no doubt bullied and teased in high school because he wasn't dating or people put two and two together... is that what made him start drinking?  Maybe, maybe not.  

The reason I am fighting so hard for this isn't because of Steve.  Steve is a grown man who can make his own decisions in life.  I will always be here for him and I hope he knows that.  The reason I am so vocal about this issue is because there are little boys and girls out there who know they are different... who know that they are not like everyone else... and it breaks my heart to think they don't have anyone to turn to.

Where would Steve have gone to talk to someone about this?  Certainly not to anyone in the town we lived in.  Everyone was religious and Mormon... it would just make things worse.

Gay marriage is important because its an understanding that everyone is loved and appreciated for who they are.  If people feel loved and accepted, they might not turn to things like drugs and alcohol.  They might not think about suicide all the time because they don't feel accepted or loved.

It's important because it's the right thing to do.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is trying desperately to ban gay marriage.  They are going to the members of the church and asking for donations for the effort.  They are asking their members to volunteer their time in the campain.  They are putting themselves smack down in the middle of politics, which is something they claim they never do.  

Another lie.  Shocking, isn't it?

I know I can't stop people from thinking that being gay is wrong, but I can remind these people that their beliefs shouldn't impose on people that are not even a part of their group.  Why should you force others to live up to your "standards?"  If you don't like gay marriage, don't participate in it... but you don't have the right to make that decision for everyone else.  

The United States of America was founded on the right that all men are created equal.  Why is that so hard for people to understand?

The Mormon Church is threatening to punish those in the church who are being vocal about disagreeing with them.  Some of my friends have been threatened with excommunication, and others have been sick over the fact that  the church leaders they knew and loved were asking them to do something off of their moral compass.  By making these threats, they are trying to make everyone conform.  They are trying to make everyone feel as if God himself told the prophet to do this (I am not saying that was actual revelation... it's just how it appears because people are told to follow the prophet no matter what).  

They are out of line, and they are wrong.  Where is the free agency if people feel pushed to make a decision like this?  They either do what the church says, or they are treated as if they don't have enough faith.

I am embarrassed at times that I used to stick up for the church when people called it a cult, or made fun of things like polygamy and temple garments.  The church leaders are the ones making this decision, not the general membership, and the general membership has no real choice.

Steve is out there somewhere, and I hope he is happy.  I hope he has love, a home of his own, maybe even a dog.  I hope he still puts his pencil to paper and creates beautiful things.  

I wish he never had to deal with the constant judgment and taunting of the people in his life.  It shouldn't have happened, and we can all do our part to make sure it stops happening to other people.


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Posted by: Andee / Category:


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What The Hell?

Posted by: Andee / Category: , , ,

I am sick. SICK!

I just caught up with an online friend who shared a little nugget from her husbands Stake Bishopric meeting.  For the record, as she stated clearly online, she did not post the information with her husband's permission.  She is the one who made the decision to share the information, so all those who want to get him into trouble for this are barking up the wrong tree.  Period.  

This is a copy of the post she made on a message board.  I use this with her permission, and I thank her again for allowing me to use it! 

I had to sleep on this overnight to make sure it was the right thing to post this, because I really don’t want to take a risk of getting my DH in hot water right now. This information comes from Stake Bishopric Meeting (a meeting held once per month where the Stake Presidency counsels all of the bishops and their counselors), and I’m sure the content of those meetings are not meant to be shared unless instructed to do so. For this reason, I’m not even asking DH’s permission, which might sound really bad, but it’s for his own protection. If the priesthood leaders who presume they preside over me ever somehow caught wind that I post on this site, it wouldn’t be difficult for them to find which one is me, I’m sure. So let me make it clear that it’s my decision and my decision alone to pass this along.  

So with that said, as most of you probably know, my DH is the 1st counselor in the bishopric. Btw, he has asked to be released because he feels he needs to be spending his time with his family right now as our children and I make this difficult transition out of the church, but the bishop is dragging his feet, and we both agree that he is stalling because he believes that I’m going to come to my senses. Anyway, he came home last night from Stake Bishopric Meeting in a TERRIBLE mood. When I asked him what was wrong, he at first refused to tell me because he was afraid I would be too angry. A little bit later he went up to bed obviously stewing, so I again asked him to please tell me what was wrong. He started with how he had first attended Round Table where they discussed collecting for Friends of Scouting and doing the re-chartering—both of which my DH is in charge of, and NOT happy about for many reasons that I won’t get into. So with that sour taste in his mouth, he then walks into SBM, only to have the topic of discussion be Proposition 8. Apparently, a letter was sent down to the Stake President, signed by the 1st Presidency, stating the church’s stance. My DH didn’t get to actually read the letter, but copies were passed out to each bishop with instruction that if they hear of any member or their wards opposing the church’s position, they are to be reported to the Stake President immediately. (The worst part for me is that our SP’s own brother whom he claims to love is gay.) The SP went on to state how there were people in our area who were collecting money to oppose the Proposition, and this was unacceptable. Hmmm. So apparently it’s okay for bishops to put collection boxes outside their offices and Stake Presidents to start web sites to collect donations to support Proposition 8, but those who oppose have no right to do the same? My DH was sickened to his core. Everything inside of him is screaming that this is wrong. Not only is he opposed to Proposition 8 himself, but he expressed how he just cannot believe that the church can justify taking such an active stance in government—obviously it goes against even our own Articles of Faith. 

I think he just lost his last bit of faith in the LDS Church. He’s been pondering about whether or not to give the bishop a date that he needs to be released by, and he will now be doing that.  

So far, I have not written a letter or signed the petition to the First Presidency on the Signing For Something web site because of the fact that my DH was in the bishopric and there is enough spotlight on our family right now without me being invited to a disciplinary counsel. I was already warned by my SP that if he finds me spreading my reasons for leaving he will not hesitate to excommunicate me, as his job first and foremost is to protect the church. Trust me, I'm not intimidated by his threat, but I'd rather not put my family through the drama. As I've contemplated whether or not it was the right thing for me to remain silent or not, I've wondered if with all those signatures that they would even really take notice of mine. Now that the SP has made it clear that he is on the lookout, I’m probably asking for it if I sign. I won’t do it without first letting my DH know of my decision, but it’s looking like Signing For Something has just recruited one more signature. 

For those who don't know, SigningForSomething.org is a website that collects letters and signatures for people who are against the church's stance in politics and human rights.  If you would like to add your signature or letter, letting the Mormon church know that they are more than out of line, please do.  The website is collecting new letters and signatures every day, and the response has been amazing.

Now, for the rest of my rant...

The church is telling people how to think, act, and believe.  It is taking the time, money and talents from it's members and using those things to push their own agenda.  

I am amazed at the number of people that have decided this issue is the last straw for them.  This is proof that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints doesn't care about equality.  How can you be a member of a church that would do this to people?

How could anyone be a member of a church that tells them what they can and can't support politically?

How could anyone with a heart not stand up and say something about it?

I hope more people do.


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