Windy Sydney

Most of the people who frequent this blog know that I had a meeting with my Mom's ex-bishop (she has since resigned) last week and asked him tons of questions about the church. The meeting was very respectful on both sides, and I sincerely think her ex-bishop is a good person. He means well, and he believes in the church with no question. I do respect that, and I told him so.

When we began talking about the issues with women and the church I kind of knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it. There was the usual, "He was speaking as a man, not as a prophet," and "God will give us revelation on that when we need it." It was when he explained his take on polygamy in the celestial kingdom that he shocked me...

He was quick to tell me that this was just his opinion, and nothing more... but he believes that more women will make it to the celestial kingdom than men. Why? Because "Men are jerks."

It doesn't really answer many questions for me. Why do we need to be "married" in heaven? Why would that even matter? I certainly don't believe for a split second that I should have to share a man with sister wives if I worked so hard to make it to the highest level of heaven. What sense does that make?

The one thing I took away from that meeting was a sense in knowing that I had made the right decision. No one in that room could clearly state what was doctrine and what wasn't. No one could explain things that happened in the past and why they were glossed over to create a picture of the church that exists today. If God really had a living prophet, wouldn't he make it painfully clear to everyone to save them? I think so.

I am still debating on whether to resign or wait to be excommunicated. I really think that the whole issue of me being a member on the books rather small, but it would really be nice to have the relief society stop sending lovely photos of Jesus to my apartment door.

When it comes down to it, they don't have any authority over me. They can call me to some silly "court of love" if they want, but I will laugh in their faces. They don't have control over me or who I am. I shouldn't have to waste any more of my time worrying about that. One day I want to resign, another I want to make them make the first move. The whole thing is rather ridiculous, because they are basically holding my name hostage. They will label me a Mormon until one or the other happens. Wonder how long it's going to take?