Family Togetherness

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,

After reading about a mother who was unable to attend her son's wedding, I wanted to vent my frustrations with the whole Mormon-temple thing.

I know Mormons say that it's such a peaceful and loving experience in the temple, and that it's an experience they would never forget, but I have also talked with people who went to the temple and had a giant "What the fuck?" Moment. It goes both ways, and to be frank, I think people are more likely to compliment the temple experience because they don't want to seem less spiritual as their friends and family. Just an opinion.

Now, I have personal experience with being excluded from weddings and sealings because of not having a temple recommend. I know first hand how it feels to be treated as if you are not good enough, or that you were a giant sinner... and because you are a giant sinner you are unwelcome in the house of the Lord.

I don't understand why people believe that?!?!?!?!?!

Why in the world would God want it that way? He wouldn't!!!

God wants us to be happy, he wants us to be with our families and love each other, right? Why would he exclude people on wedding days? What sense does that make?

When I asked Mom's bishop about this, he pretty much ignored the question. Instead he focused on why temple recommends were so important. He even mentioned that young adults like myself, who happened to be unmarried, wouldn't get a recommend. Yes, Mormon readers, he said that.

I follow the commandments... I don't lie, cheat, or steal. I don't sleep around, and I certainly don't covet thy neighbors wife... and it's certainly not because I killed a man just to watch him die. Why am I excluded from God's house?

Does God play favorites? Does he label people? What about the people who get temple recommends by lying to their bishops, I know of many. What makes it okay for them to go to a temple wedding, and people like me (and many others) who are good people are left out?

Many of my relatives put on a good show about loving their apostate kin no matter what, but when it comes down to it they judge me the same way the church does. I am not good enough. The whole thing about family togetherness is just a show. The minute someone disagrees with the church they become unworthy.

Here is a photo I took the night before Mom and I had a meeting with the bishop. I took the shot at the mailbox she used to send in her resignation. Hope you like it.



  1. Nicko Says:

    Hey Sydney,

    Been a whilst! Not really ha...

    Things have been interesting on my end, but it has more to do with my rage against China right now and some local athletes saying some really dumb things which make me wanna scream...but enough about me.

    I just wanted to share with you my experience. I was married in the temple with my wife. My parents were excluded for not being members. They refused to turn up to anything outside the temple out of their own personal 'protest' against the church. I was fine with it to be honest. They have some strong convictions about it all, as do I.

    I want to say that the temple ceremony is so much different to an actual wedding ceremony. We seem to pomp up weddings in our day, but to be honest, I really think that a limited number of people should be at sealings period. Its not for them at all, its for you and your partner to make some serious covenants to each other that are personal in a way that doesn't involve other people. Having heaps of people in there in my opinion is the worlds way of dealing with marriages.

    I understand your frustrations, but thats been the way of temple ceremonies throughout history. The Old Testament Temple was very restrictive as to who could enter, much more so than now. Ancient Egyptian Temple Ceremonies were very exclusive. Even now, there are other religions were sacred spaces are excluded from public view. The Mormon's however seem to be localised targets. I don't really want to get into why.

    Fact is Sydney, the Temple is a sacred space for those 'willing' to take upon themselves some pretty serious committments to the LORD. Your Bishop seemed quite harsh, but also quite poignant. You completely humiliate the temple ceremonies and garments, there is no way you should be allowed in. Its like saying that a anti-semitic should be allowed to enter a synagogue.

    Having said all of this, I have intimate experience with the disappointment of not being allowed inside. Its quite upsetting, but when you completely understand what the temple is for, things become clearer.

  1. Anonymous Says:

    The mormon church teaches that the temple brings families closer together. But the hard fact is when someone is left on the outside and someone is on the inside they are SEPARATED! Anything that puts a label on someone else as being "bad" doesn't help with family relations either.

  1. Oppressed Says:

    Lets not forget that you have to pay tithing to get a recommend, so if you're a perfect saint you still can't get in unless you pay up. Whats that you say ? You are Mother Teresa of Mormonism but you can't get into heaven ? Why ? Because you didn't pay your tithing so you can't have special ordinances done in the temple.

    Its a "SURPLUS" not a 10 percent of GROSS. Only greedy church leaders added that years after the establishment of the Mormon church to take advantage of the gold mine they were sitting on.

    The temple is just another way to segregate members from their families and make money from you. And lets not forget the temple sealing's original intent, which was to hide Josephs plural marriages. Doh !

  1. Sydney Says:

    Thanks for the comments everyone.

    Oppressed, glad to finally meet someone who understands where I am coming from with the money issue. I can't believe more Mormons don't see it.