Rocking The World

Posted by: Andee / Category: , ,


Today I had the opportunity to have a conversation with a self-proclaimed "Jack-Mormon." I have never been a huge fan of that term, myself. I have been called that many times, and it insulted me. Just because I was inactive I had to have some kind of silly title? I am getting off track here... sorry.

Keeley (name changed to protect the innocent) hasn't been in a Mormon chapel in over 6 years. She drinks on occasion, and she is my age (29) and not married. No, neither one of us are lesbians. I have to say that. I do. There are too many people who assume I am into the ladies simply because I am single. It's annoying. I am not insulted by it, but it's just not who I am. Getting off track again. Oops.

Keeley's home was full of church activities growing up. She told me that church wasn't just a Sunday thing... church was discussed every day. There were prayers, meetings, family home evening, scripture study, and the many hours devoted to her parents callings. She remembers sitting at home helping her Mom cut out stuff for a lesson she was giving... lets just say that Keeley was raised by uber-true-believing-Mormon parents that raised their children to be the same.

She feels like she is a disappointment. That pisses me off. She is anything but a disappointment. She is intelligent, kind, and most of all she loves everyone for who they are and not what they believe. I think any parent would be happy to have a kid like that. Call me crazy.

What is it that makes a child a disappointment? Is it because she stopped going to church? Is it because she doesn't believe in the church as much as her parents and siblings? Maybe it's because she wasn't married in the temple like her sisters and brothers, or had children? Is this all her parents wanted for her? What about her happiness? Off track again. Dammit.

During our conversation that lasted about an hour, she proceeded to ask me questions I wasn't sure she wanted the answers to. I warned her first. Once you learn that Joseph Smith married 14 year old girls by threatening them and their families with eternal damnation, you cant go back. You can't. Many have tried. Many have failed. She told me she wanted to know.

This is the first time since my journey started that I felt like I was destroying someone's testimony. I know she probably didn't have a huge testimony, and that she didn't really agree with many of the doctrines and practices, but I knew the information I was about to give her would rock her world. Like the emotional earthquake I wrote about yesterday. I was scared as hell when I figured out all this stuff... did I want to be responsible for someone else going through that kind of pain? Did I want to be the one to make the relationship she had with her parents even more strained?

I voiced my concerns. I was honest with her. I didn't try to convince her that my opinions were right, or that Mormonism was stupid. I just gave her the facts and resources that helped me on my journey.

How is it that a 29 year old woman, who was raised in the church, and been through the temple didn't know about Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon with a seer stone in a hat? She was FLOORED. Floored wasn't even the right word. She kept saying, "really?" and "Are you sure about that?"

Yes, really. I am sure. I am sorry.

I didn't even begin to talk about the Book of Abraham. The whole time we discussed Joseph Smith and his life. She didn't know that he had so many wives, or that they were already married to living men. She certainly didn't know that a couple of them were only 14.

I have asked this question so many times on this blog, but I can't let it go...

How can the church think they are a truthful, honest organization while keeping these things from their membership? Lying by omission. It makes my blood boil. How many people have been baptized in the church before hearing the whole story? How many kids go off to missions every year because they believe Joseph Smith was a loving, kind, and honest man? How many? How is that *not* lying?

Keeley is aware that I am posting about the conversation we had. As a matter of fact, she might be reading it... I gave her the link. I wish there was more I could do to help her, because she is in for one hell of a ride.

Andee


13 comments:

  1. steve-o Says:
    July 31, 2008 at 6:03 PM

    I think it's noble that you warned her before telling her these truths. That act alone should help your detractors that you're not quite the angry anti-Mormon that they believe you to be.

    I have similar concerns about not wanting to be the person that bursts someone's faith bubble, so I rarely bring up any religion, let alone Mormonism, with my wife or friends. They don't seem interested in hearing anything that contradicts their beliefs anyway.

    Anyway, props to you, Andee.

  1. Andee Says:
    July 31, 2008 at 7:13 PM

    Thank you Steve-O...

    It was hard to tell her some of the stuff. She thought I was pulling her leg a couple times. I wasn't.

    It sucks.

  1. Unknown Says:
    July 31, 2008 at 10:25 PM

    Im sorry, that is such a hard position to be in. I have a friend I am going thru the same thing with, she is confused and hurt and it sucks to know I helped cause it.

    If the church was honest with it's members in the first place we wouldn't be in this position.

    I've found myself wanting to plant seeds but also dreading being asked questions about the history. It really is a no win situation.

    Hang in there. You are a great friend for telling her the truth and helping her through it.

  1. Anonymous Says:
    August 1, 2008 at 6:25 AM

    Props indeed. I wish I knew more people like you IRL- thoughtful, sensitive to other people's needs, genuinely caring. Why can't the TBM's who come here to chastize you see these qualities? Do you really believe they all found your blog by googling temple pictures for their blogs? Ha!

    Good luck to your friend. I can't imagine how hard it must be not only to come to terms with your religion being a farce, but the backlash from friends and family.

  1. Elder Joseph Says:
    August 1, 2008 at 9:51 AM

    The Mormon church does not deserve those good members it has deceived and hoodwinked from its beginning.

    I say Let them go free from bondage.

    I shared my concerns with a TBM friend and instead of thanking me for truthful facts she has decided to shun me.

    Thats what mormonism creates unfortunatley.She joined the church at 20 believing what the missionaries and church lessons taught her were true.It took 16 years later to meet me to find out the real facts.

    I don't think we should purposely hide what we know just so as not to shake anyones world.At the end of the day they will be passing on a false version and potentially duping many others.

    As humans we deserve the full truth and any decent person will respect us for that.Unfortunately Mormonism conditions its members to look on us who tell the truth as satanic or willful sinners etc.

    They will inevitably stumble on the facts sooner or later.The sooner the better.

    Think of all those new converts who are been emotionally sucked into something that if they knew the real truth they would most likely not join in the first place and add to that the resultant trauma, loss of trust and potential family problems it causes.

    90% of our converts ( Asylum Seekers)use the church to help themselves .I guess its fair game.The church wants Numbers for its PR stunts , in return they get desperate Asylum Seekers who have no allegiance to the church whatsoever.Our local Methodist /Evangelical churches have drop in centres to help Asylum Seekers and no one tries to baptise them for figures.

    The church's exclusive one true church claims are false but the members are sincere.In fact so sincere that when they find its a dupe they try to inform others of not falling into the same trap.

  1. Seth R. Says:
    August 1, 2008 at 6:43 PM

    I disagree with your conclusions, but whatever. I'm not here to argue it one way or the other.

    I just thought you'd find some hard data on Joseph's marriages interesting. There's a website that has laid it all out here:

    http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/

    Have a pleasant evening.

  1. Andee Says:
    August 2, 2008 at 9:35 AM

    Johnlester,

    You Said, "I have more problems with the LDS church than everyone here combined."

    Not sure why you think that. I haven't even come close to sharing everything that I find is a problem. I think your statement is meant to cast our problems aside. Not cool.

    You said, "However, I know for a FACT that Mormon Scripture is inspired and that Joseph Smith is a prophet. For more see:

    http://groups.google.com/group/fatherabrahamschildrentogether"

    You don't know jack squat for fact, and we all know it. You believe, you think... but you definitely don't know, and you definitely don't know for FACT. Hate to burst your bubble, but thats how it is.

  1. Andee Says:
    August 2, 2008 at 9:41 AM

    JohnLester,

    I went to that webpage you linked to, and I can't believe some of the things you say.

    I disagree. BIG TIME.

    Good luck.

  1. Anonymous Says:
    August 3, 2008 at 4:28 AM

    WTF is that supposed to mean johnlester? Besides being uber-creepy, it is incredibly insulting....you pretty much just dismissed anything she has to say by treating her like a child. Are you really that much wiser than the rest of us?

  1. Andee Says:
    August 3, 2008 at 10:15 AM

    I know Amber. It's why I chose not to reply. Some people just want a reaction, and I think that is what he is after.

  1. Andee Says:
    August 3, 2008 at 2:01 PM

    JohnLester,

    I am glad you showed your true colors early. This will be your last statement on WindySydney.

    It's blatantly obvious that you feel you are better than females, among other things. All people are equal here, and until you can accept that... well... you can post elsewhere.

    Toodles.

  1. steve-o Says:
    August 3, 2008 at 2:16 PM

    Good lord, what a dick. And he provided some more reasons to ignore scripture as the "word of God". Well done, JohnLester.

  1. Andee Says:
    August 3, 2008 at 2:37 PM

    Hehe, what is it about this blog that attracts religious nutcases? Just curious? Hahaha....

Post a Comment