I know I have talked about this before... but I have to bring it up again. Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, for beating a dead horse... (I just realized how truly sick and sad that phrase is. Who would beat a dead horse? Nevermind...)
There is definitely a reactivation effort. Most of the inactive Mormon friends I have, have been receiving unannounced visits from stake presidents, bishops, EQ Presidents, Relief Society presidents, as well as visiting and home teachers. Others, like myself, have had visits from random missionaries, and people from the ward. It's obvious that the church is asking/pressuring/telling members and leaders to contact the inactive members and "get to know them better."
One friend even mentioned that a couple relief society members stopped by her home and said something like, "We didn't see you in the relief society meeting, so we wanted to stop by and bring you some cake..." Cake? Um... thanks? The kicker, is that this person hadn't been to church in over 2 years. Did they expect to see her in the meeting? They shouldn't have. Why did they bother to start caring about it now?
The one thing that upset this person was that how nice and kind they were. Don't get me wrong... being nice and kind is great. I wish more believing Mormons would be nice and kind to me on this blog! What bothers her about it is how they were NOT nice and kind when she WAS active. They didn't give a flying rats ass about her until they stopped seeing her in church!
It's so fake.
It's almost like a used car salesman trying to find common ground with you, to make you his friend, so he can talk you into buying something.
Here is the thing... we don't buy it. Not anymore. We know the truth, we have made up our minds.
We don't leave the church because we didn't have friends. We don't leave the church because someone offended us and made us cry. We have honest problems with the doctrine and the way things were and still are handled. Stopping by with a slice of cake isn't going to help... even if that cake is double chocolate cherry with whipped cream. And... while I am on the subject of people bringing over food, I know it's done to be nice... to share something... but do people really thing a slice of chocolate cherry cake with whipped cream is going to change our minds? Do they think we are going to take one bite out of it and think, "Wow! That was delicious! That had to come out of a kitchen of someone who belongs to the one true church! I was so wrong! I feel the holy ghost through this chocolate goodness!" Yeah, I know... sarcastic and random, and I know they mean well, but it's just weird sometimes.
Instead of the "lets get to know you better" approach, the church would be much better off addressing these problems head on. Publicly. Write honest articles in the Ensign, explain that Joseph Smith had more than one wife, that 2 of them were only 14, how the translation really happened (and why they haven't talked about it before). Talk about these things at General Conference... talk about them in the press. Admit you were wrong for these things... they were not commanded by God, that much is obvious. God would certainly never tell anyone that they were cursed because they had black skin. Has the church ever apologized publicly for that? No. Maybe it's time... I would much rather hear that kind of message at my doorstep than, "Can we share a message about the first vision?" (Which version of the first vision are you talking about...?)
If the church loves me as much as they claim they do, why can't they find it in their hearts to be honest with me? They lied to me for years!
When missionaries or other members find out someone has left the church, they immediately start questioning and chastising them... challenging them as to why they "really" left. Most of these kinds of people are told what they "should" do:
- You need to read the book of Mormon again!
- You need to pray more!
- Joseph Smith is/was a true Prophet!
- I know this church is true!
Don't members realize how arrogant these comments are? How do you know we are *not* reading our scriptures or praying? Why must active members assume the absolute worst of those who don't believe?
We must be a group of really bad/evil people, huh?
Ugh!
June 21, 2008 at 5:47 PM
Spot on! People are leaving the church in droves right now because they find out things about church history they didn't know. Our clergy isn't trained and tends to do a great deal of damage to some people-they are not prepared to deal with the issues at hand.
The problem is that once you learn things about the church, you cannot ever go back to not knowing. The church was great before I knew JS pursued 14year old girls and that BY was a raging racist. The church was great until I read ALL of the racist comments about "the negro" being "inferior".
The church was great until you learn that JS "translated" the BOM with a stone in a hat that he previously used to search for treasure. The church was great until I found out that not only did they fight the ERA, but that they told women to lie about it because "people won't understand" (gee, I don't see how anyone would be concerned with an ulterior motive by the male leaders in a patriarchal church". The churc was great until I need some community.
The leaders don't seem to get that when they hold their members accountable, they need to have that same level of accountability and openess. People can forgive quite easily (think Jim Baker), but they want some accountability first. I think if the church were willing to admit they made mistakes in the past, stayed out of politics (like gay Marriage in CA) and actually let women have the power they are afraid to give them-the people may be willing to come back.
June 21, 2008 at 11:50 PM
You have a real way with words my friend! I wish I had the ability to write like you!
You are right. The leaders could do ANYTHING they wanted. Truly, anything, and they would get away with it. Even if they were caught in something illegal, they could play it of to the members of the church, and the members would buy it.
They owe apologies to millions of people... hundreds of millions. Blacks, Catholics, Women... all of us. They said and did things to hurt us, and pretended like it was water under the bridge.
Sorry, it doesn't work that way. If only they would learn that.
June 22, 2008 at 6:09 AM
Excellent post! You're right on about the leaders being able to do anything they want. The admonition not to criticize the leaders of the church, even if the criticism is TRUE, gives them that power. Are you kidding me! They've given themselves permission NOT to be accountable to anyone. The arrogance astounds me. And so many members, like unthinking sheep, meekly follow it. It's truly fascinating and sad to stand on the outside now and watch it happen.
I'm so angry about their involvement with the CA gay marriage issue, I'm going to be spitting venom for some time. I'm headed to Utah next week - Lord help my family if any of them feel the need to comment in support of the church and this issue in my presence!
June 22, 2008 at 11:51 AM
LOL, I think the same thing about you when I read your posts.
Members of the church will buy anything. They chalk it up to a test of their faith and keep believing. Most people don't see things clearly because it is one small piece at a time. For example people learn about polygamy and are upset, but they rationalize it. It was only in UT, there was a shortage of men, etc. Then they find out JS practiced too, but they already accept BY so they can go with it. Then it was JS with a 14 year old, but that isn't so bad...It is so slow that people don't wake-up and see it because it doesn't come all at once.
The church will never apologize. They are not that humble. The church keeps getting $ and members, why should they be sorry for what they did? Think of what local leaders do to offend people and they won't be accountable. It is just worse for the higher up leaders.
June 22, 2008 at 9:26 PM
Truly Confused,
I agree with your statement as usual. I wish I could meet more people who just "got it" like you do! We are definitely two peas in a pod as my grandmother would say!
I believe they would gain a lot of respect if they admitted their past sins, but it's a catch 22 to them.
Admit they did something wrong means they were not led by God through a Prophet.
Not admitting they were wrong means they alienate the generations of people they hurt.
No matter what happens from this point on, they lose. The membership will continue to decline, and the LDS Church did it to themselves. The lie can only exist for so long... heaven knows it's been going on long enough!
June 22, 2008 at 9:46 PM
Thanks for the comment Kristen! I have got to learn to be more careful to reply to comments in order. It must be sort of confusing when people read it!
I am planning on writing my feelings on the Gay marriage issue tomorrow. I have the day off and a lot on my mind. I am spitting mad about it too!
I hope you have a safe trip to the Moridor, and I also hope you don't have to listen to church stuff 24-7. That is what usually happens... the more some of these people talk about the church, the better it makes them feel. Like God is up there counting the number of conversations about the church or something. Maybe this is just a personal observation, but in some of the families I have stayed with over the years, they think the more they discuss the church, the more righteous they are. Strange, but true.
Be safe!
June 22, 2008 at 10:04 PM
I am just happy that I am in CA and can have more of a voice this time against what the church is doing. Before I was in the "if I just try harder" pattern. Now, I realize it doesn't matter how hard I try. They are still wrong!
June 22, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Thanks for the well-wishes, Sydney. I've actually told my family I won't say anything about the church if they won't. But if they feel the need to lecture to me or tell me I'm wrong, then I'll go point-by-point through the reasons I don't believe anymore.
Can't wait to see what you write about the gay marriage issue. Fortunately, we're going to San Francisco after Utah, to visit my husband's family. I'm sure it will be a breath of fresh air after my Utah stop.
You're right about them talking about the church all the time. My mom brings something up in every conversation. In my family, the number Greg Olsen prints you have on the wall pretty much determines your level of righteousness too. My mom has about six, so she's right up there at Celestial Kingdom level ;) .
June 23, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Kristen,
You are welcome, safe travels to you!
I also love how the tone and level of their voice changes when they are talking about the church. The immediately turn into a reverent, quiet, peaceful person... at least, thats what they try to do. It makes me giggle every time. Sometimes they get the wrong idea and think I am laughing at them... not true. They don't even realize they do it. Just laughing at how often it happens.
June 23, 2008 at 10:15 AM
Truly Confused,
I am glad you ARE voicing your opinion on this issue.
You are right, no matter how hard we try, it's not true! Awesome statement.