Windy Sydney

Why is it that people who leave the church have a hard time telling their friends and family that don't belong to their ward that they have stopped attending? Some people actively dodge certain family members so the subject won't have to be discussed.

People who are active and have a testimony can't really understand why people don't have the same outlook. They are convinced they are the ones who are right, just as we are convinced of the opposite. Sometimes I hear comments like:

"You had a testimony two months ago! What happened?"

"Did someone offend you?"

"I have problems with that doctrine too, just put it on a shelf and don't worry about it."

Mormons tend to take it personally when someone stops attending their church. I don't understand why that is. Then they start dishing out the guilt trips... family members are super-good at this tactic.

*sniffle* "I just wanted us to have a forever family!" *sniffle*

"You need to pray and read your scriptures more... do you know what you are doing to our parents?"

"Why are you looking for reasons to leave?"

When people try to make me feel guilty about leaving, I have to put them in their place. I have to explain to them that it's not an error on my part, and them even thinking it's an error on my part is pretty arrogant. I have countless issues with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I am not the only one to feel this way. Why is that *my* fault?

When family and friends eventually figure out that you have gone inactive or left the church altogether, you then have different things to worry about. If you have kids, and they stay with their Mormon friends and family for an overnight stay, you have to expect them to be exposed to the very church you find offensive. Your Mormon friends and family are convinced they know better and that you are being led astray by Satan himself... and you are taking your kids down with you.

Sometimes inactive or resigned members are given the "gift" of one of the church magazines delivered to their home once a month. This happened to me quite often when I was a kid. I wasn't active at the time, neither were my parents... but somehow the Friend Magazine made it to my fingertips every 30 days.

If PostMormons are strong enough to tell their Mormon friends and family to knock it off, we are seen as angry, or mean people. Mormons then look at that anger or meanness and assume it's because we are lacking the gospel. Everything we do or say can be made into pro-church propaganda.

Kids are impressionable... imagine dropping your kids off at their grandparent's house for the weekend and upon picking them up they tell you about how the temple is there to keep families together forever. Stuff like this shouldn't happen. There is no respect shown from people that do this to kids behind their parent's backs. Lard help me if that ever happens to me... I will lose my temper in a hurry.

I guess I just find that most of the Mormons I know don't respect other's beliefs. They claim they do, but still find any reason to bring up the church or slip little nuggets of Joseph-Smith-goodness into conversation. Some of my friends have even gone so far as to tell me my name was on the temple prayer rolls. What the hell am I supposed to say about that? My life is just fine, thank you. I really don't need your prayers... pray for someone who needs it, like the people in Darfur!

Missionaries and bishops have been sent to my door over and over again during the past year. Not because the missionaries and bishops were honestly concerned or wanted to get to know us, but because our friends and family alerted them! Do we need to explain over and over again the reasons why we left? Obviously. It's not as if they will listen to us anyway. They won't.

We lose all credibility when we become apostates. Suddenly, we don't know what we are talking about, and we have read the wrong information. We couldn't possibly be right, because the holy ghost tells them.

Look, my fine Mormon Friends and Family, I understand where you are coming from. I know that you believe in this church with your whole heart and soul... but you have to understand that I am never, ever, going to agree with you. Please stop trying. If, and when I have kids, and you try to teach them about the church behind my back, I will be pissed. Very pissed. I am a grown woman who can make the decisions she sees fit for her family.

The. End.