How Can You Not See It?

Posted by: Andee / Category: ,


At the extreme risk of sounding like a broken record, I want to get something off my chest about the roles of women in the church...

Women are not equal in the Mormon Church. Period. If women *were* equal, they would be able to hold the same kinds of leadership positions as the men in their lives. You would walk in to a Sunday Morning service and see a female bishop. Women would be blessing the sacrament.

I have mentioned this to some of my Mormon friends before... they claimed that women were respected equally, and that women did have power. Obviously I disagree.

Equality means being equal. Men and women are not equal. How can they not see it? Are they in denial? Do they delude themselves into believing that women have an equal voice?

At the age of 19, most Mormon young men go on a mission for the church. It's pretty much expected of them, it's not something they would even consider not doing most of the time. It's just how it is, something they are supposed to do. Why doesn't this same thought apply to the 19 year old girls? Why are boys expected to go and not girls? Where is the equality in that?

The same thing pretty much applies to being a wife and mother. I grew up in the church in Utah, and it was generally just assumed that the Mormon girls would get married and have children. They didn't exactly get the same advice when it came to careers... girls are taught at an early age that they should be mothers. What if they didn't want kids? What if they didn't think they would be good mothers? Why pressure someone to be a mother if they dread the idea? Don't you think that would do more harm than good in the child's life?

When I was speaking with my Mom's bishop about this issue last March, he basically told me that his wife didn't mind not having the priesthood. He told me that she didn't want the responsibility. That might be true. She might not give a damn about this, but that doesn't change the fact that there is no equality. How can you claim there is equality if it's so obvious there is none?!?

Why should gender determine so much?

Boys do things that girls can't do. How can you not see it?


3 comments:

  1. Anonymous Says:
    June 26, 2008 at 8:44 AM

    You are right on with this Sydney. One of the things that caused me to first question my faith was the teaching that women should be subservient and silent in the church. The justification for this comes directly from bible passages (don't ask me which ones- I am not a preacher or biblical scholar)- but I have read that there is evidence in scrolls supressed by the catholic church that Jesus was trying to change that with Mary Magdalene- making her equal to the other apostles. I couldn't understand why "god" would make me a lesser being. The whole thing seems like a scheme designed by men to keep them in charge!

    The thing that bothers me most about the sexism within the mormon church and some others is the strict definition of gender roles and the scorn and ridicule cast on women who choose to live differently. Why must a girl marry? Why do boys go to college to get educated and girls go to find a husband? Why am I expected to have children just because I have a womb? Will "god" really love me more if I stay at home instead of working to help support the family that you insisted I have? They talk big about free agency but when it comes to women's rights to choose it doesn't seem to apply.

  1. Andee Says:
    June 26, 2008 at 5:04 PM

    I am glad I am not alone here, Amber, I knew I wouldn't be.

    I can't believe that more people don't see it. It's so painfully obvious that women are second class citizens! Why do we take it? Why do we put up with it? Because it's expected of us? Not anymore.

    There is no free agency in the Mormon Church. You do what they say, or you are an apostate. That is your free agency. Glad I chose to exercise mine.

  1. Anonymous Says:
    June 26, 2008 at 7:56 PM

    It isn't just the sexism, it is the "no really, you are equal and if you don't see that then you aren't being righteous. I know this because I have the penishood".

    My former bishops wife (the "famous" one I have told stories about) told me about how real the mantle was with her husband being bishop. I said "so, that goes away if women have it". I now think that is just the power trip. As I was preparing to leave (and in light of the recent letter and the fact I live in CA I probably will formally now), I went to my bishop with my concerns. He talked me into a blessing and no showed-incidentally 3 months after home teacher did the same prior to surgery. I finally hear from good old Stevie 3 months later. I left him a message back and told him I was hurt he had flaked on the blessing. Well, that was 16 months ago and haven't heard a peep since. If I was man, he would have called and apologized and addressed it. And if I had been a high priest he would have for sure done it immediately. But as a single woman with no husband representing her, I didn't mean crap to the church and he knew he could treat me anyway he wanted to.

    I can give you list after list where the leaders treat women like garbage, and the women let them. The women have no confidence or understanding that they deserve to be equals! It is not wrong to want what we willingly give men. Wanting to have power and a voice is not bad-men just assume they deserve it.

    For the love, the SP won't even hold a "court of love for a woman" a bishop does. A woman doesn't deserve that time because she doesn't hold the M priesthood.

    I hate that we are teaching young girls to be oppressed and young boys that they have the right to oppress!!!!

Post a Comment