Without Thinking

Posted by: Andee / Category: , ,


Today I bought a new book. Escape, by Carolyn Jessop with Laura Palmer. I haven't even opened the cover yet, so I can't give a review of the book. I am sure it will be amazing and eye opening when I read it, and I promise to post about it. Anyway... at a meeting someone noticed the book sitting on my desk, and a conversation brewed about polygamy.

I have both Mormon friends and non-Mormon friends at work. Notice I used the word friends. I consider these people friends. They are kind, honest, hard-working, and above all they are good people. I am honestly honored to work with them.

Two of my Mormon friends joined the conversation, and immediately made comments that the polygamy in the book would be nothing at all like the polygamy Mormon women had to endure in the past. They said that the FLDS was a cult, and they were horrible and treated women in a bad way... but the Mormon Church on the other hand only had women marry into polygamy if it was their choice. They even claimed it was because women needed men to take care of them when their first husbands died.

Their comments were almost identical to each other. Each entered the room at different times, and they didn't hear each other talk about it at all. Here is the thing...

Joseph Smith basically forced some of these women to marry him. I said some... not all. He went to the home of a 14 year old girl, and told her that she and her family would burn in hell if she didn't marry him. Do you think it was something she wanted to do? At 14? There were two 14 year olds, by the way.

There were never more women than men, it's been proven with census reports... an no matter what anyone says, it wasn't a "pleasure" (yes, someone used that word) for these women to be in polygamous relationships.

I have to ask the Mormon readers of this blog some questions...

Would you enter into a polygamous relationship/marriage if the current prophet received revelation to do so?

Would you allow your 14 year old daughter to marry a prophet if he knocked on your door and asked?

Do you think it's easy to share your husband with multiple wives?

Why is it that people are so eager to believe what the church gives out? They don't even check... heaven knows I didn't!! I sure took their word for everything, and now I am kicking myself for doing it.

Now, for all those out there who are absolutely convinced that I am raging anti-Mormon who is out there to destroy other's faith, I have to tell you that I didn't even enter the conversation. I didn't bring up my point of view. I just let it be. It bugged me, but I kept my mouth shut.

Those who know me know how hard that must have been... hahhaa....


6 comments:

  1. Anonymous Says:
    June 30, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    Every time I hear someone say how much our ancestors enjoyed polygamy and that it was nothing like the FLDS today, I wonder if they don't have family histories about those times. Mine, on both sides of our family, tell stories of, at the worst, extreme abuse and, at the best, tolerating the practice because it was required. I haven't seen anything saying they enjoyed it. One says specifically, "Our family suffered the trials of polygamy." Another tells of a 15 year old girl who came to America a year ahead of her mother and siblings. When the mother got here she was already married to a much older man. The account says she never lost her faith in the church and prayed a lot, but seldom smiled. I'm glad to see statistics that prove there weren't more women in the early church than men. I never did believe that. Myrna T

  1. Andee Says:
    June 30, 2008 at 11:48 AM

    Hey there Myrna,

    I don't know why people would automatically think that it was something anyone could possibly enjoy. Polygamy is more degrading to women (in my opinion) than we could possibly imagine!

    Thank you for the comment, I agree that the practice was at best, tolerated because it was something that was required.

    I think it's kind of a disservice to those women to assume they had it easy. They didn't.

  1. Anonymous Says:
    June 30, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    D&C 132:64 - And again, verily, verily, I say unto you, if any man have a wife, who holds the keys of this power, and he teaches unto her the law of my priesthood, as pertaining to these things, then shall she believe and administer unto him, or she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord your God; for I will destroy her; for I will magnify my name upon all those who receive and abide in my law.

    Ouch! If a woman doesn't believe in polygamy then god will destroy her? I love how they're running away from polygamy once again. The first time it was to avoid having their possessions (including temples) seized by the feds, this time it's to avoid being mistaken for a cult offshoot. Disingenuous.

  1. Anonymous Says:
    July 1, 2008 at 5:29 AM

    Hi Andee,

    I found a mormon women's message board when I was first "investigating"- strangely enough that's what led me to postmormon.org and the truth about mormonism- and someone there asked that question...most of the women said "no way", and only a few said that they would grudgingly obey the prophet. There were a couple who joked about how great it would be to have sister wives but I think they might change their minds when the reality of that situation hit. Someone else brought up the polygamy in the celestial kingdom bit but there was a big uproar of " we'll understand everything then- heavenly father won't make us do anything that will cause us to be unhappy"...... I wish I could copy and paste some of that but they only keep like 2 pages of threads active and I can't access the old ones. You'd have a field day with that site!

  1. Andee Says:
    July 1, 2008 at 9:25 AM

    Hey Amber!

    I have had many of the conversations that you are describing. I kept asking them why Heavenly Father would ask this of them. They replied they didn't know and that they just needed to have faith.

    Screw that!

    I am not going to follow an obvious sexist religion on pure faith. Lets not even get started on how racist it is!

    I wish I could shake some sense into these women :)

  1. James Says:
    July 3, 2008 at 6:56 PM

    I have done a lot of thinking on this subject. Why would God command it, it's occurrence in the LDS church is not the only time it has been commanded.

    The first possibility I thought of was to help out with possible problems with male to female ratios. I never like that answer and later found out there were about the same number of males to females. It would seem this is a common conclusion people come up with, even with ought testing it.

    Thinking about it more I realized that the reason for polygamy could be to perpetuate good traditions in righteous families. This is of course some more of my own speculation. It being a commandment of God is a good enough reason even if I can't understand it.

    I also thought about why polygamy is not taught frequently in church and the reason is simple. Because polygamy doesn't apply to us now. We aren't commanded to follow it we don't need to concern ourselves with it. The church is more concerned with teaching faith and repentance trying to bring Christ's light into the lives of the members. If members wish to learn about that history they are welcome to it.

    Yes I believe that polygamy was hard for the saints. It was probably hard for Joseph Smith.

    I don't believe that Joseph Smith told families they would burn in Hell. I would really like to get what he said originally from a reliable source. The LDS view of the afterlife really doesn't include "burning in Hell".

Post a Comment