Windy Sydney

I found this list compiled on the Recovery From Mormonism short topics page. I found the list entertaining, simply because I have heard some of these things many times throughout my lifetime. I can't take credit for this, the author's name is Captain Entenille.

Mormons are fond of spreading "faith-promoting rumors." Members so badly want for the church to be true, in the absence of any evidence they are prone to grab on to anything that might help promote that belief. Then that rumor gets repeated and embellished to the point where most actually believe it to be true. Here are my top ten, yours may differ.


The Smithsonian Institute uses the Book of Mormon in its research.

This one started over a hundred years ago and just won't die. Periodically the Smithsonian Institute (and the National Geographical Society) sends notices to the church saying "please, please tell your people to stop calling us. We have never found any connection with your book and any archeology discovered in the Americas."

Polygamy was needed in the early church because there was an overabundance of single women who needed husbands.

Not so! A check of every census record of Illinois and Utah, from 1840 through 1900 reveals that (like all western frontier locations) men outnumbered the women by a good margin.

The LDS church has no paid ministry.

This in true only at the local level through the stake presidency. The top 85 or 90 leaders (General Authorities) do quite well. They receive a salary, allowances, and also are paid as board members for the vast number of church-owned corporations. In the early history of the church, Joseph had a revelation that God desired "he should not labor" and in an act of nepotism, he named his dad the "patriarch," authorizing him to charge a dollar a blessing. (today's patriarchs receive no compensation)

The LDS church is the fastest growing church in the world.

It's certainly fast growing, but if you are talking raw numbers, the Catholic church is probably growing fifty times as fast, simply from the birth rate alone. If you are talking percentages, the Assembly of God in Brazil went from almost zero to ten million in only four years! It took the LDS over 160 years to reach that level.

The reason the original LDS temple ceremony and the Masonic ritual were virtually identical was that they were both the original ceremonies of Solomon's Temple.

Completely untrue! Secret ceremonies weren't practiced in Solomon's Temple, it was open. Masonic leaders will explain that when Masonry originated in the 16th century, few people could read or write, so it designed a ritual of skits and symbolism to convey its message, as was done in Solomon's time. Within a few days after he became a Master Mason, Joseph simply copied the same ceremony for the Mormon Church.

The church name, "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints," is divinely inspired.

If it is, God sure fumbled around a good while before doling out a little inspiration. The original church name in 1830 was "Church of Christ." In 1834 it was changed to "Church of the Latter Day Saints." Then four years later, in 1838 it was again changed to its present name.

Joseph Smith made a great prophecy in 1842, the Rocky Mountain prophecy, by predicting the Mormons would come to the Rocky Mountains and become a mighty people.

Church historian Dean Jessee produced the original manuscript from History of the Church showing the authorship was in 1845, after Smith's death. Then years later, after the Saints were in Utah, someone penciled "Rocky Mountains" into the document. Jessee was chastised for revealing this historical tidbit.

After Joseph Smith was killed, the apostles knew Brigham Young was the successor by his "transformation" into the image of Joseph.

All the apostles were requested to keep diaries, which are now historical documents. On this Aug. 8, 1844 meeting not a single one recorded it. It didn't pop up as a folk legend until about twenty years later.

In the first year of the Mormon settlement in Utah, a plague of locusts (Mormon crickets) threatened to wipe out their crops. God responded with a "miracle", sending an army of seagulls to devour the insects.

This one is true -- however the miracle part is somewhat embellished. The locusts have a seven-year hibernation cycle, and unfortunately the early settlers hit it on the end of the seventh year. For mutual protection, they had made the mistake of planting all their fields together. Therefore, the locust attack was concentrated in one spot in the valley. And the seagulls, which by their fossil remains have been at the Great Salt Lake for over 2,000 years, simply enjoyed their every-seven-year feast. They still do -- only now it's spread over thousands of square miles. (2001 was a bad year, 2008 is next).

And for the last one, I want to collectively group thousands of "magic underwear" tales. You've got to hear some of these! When any TBM survives any accident, calamity, or near miss, the reason is always attributed to his/her wearing the holy drawers.

The reality is that safety records, medical records, and the observations of safety experts, paramedics and hospital emergency room personnel all show that Mormons have the same percentages of accidents per capita, and the same injury/death ratios as anybody else in the general population. But the imagined protection continues to make good fodder for monthly Testimony Meetings.

Here are more random Urban Legends found online...

A tornado went through an area and wrecked many homes but a ward building was left standing. (by Percy)

Two missionaries were killed and shortly afterwards (1950's I think) twin tornadoes came through the town and destroyed many buildings and killed alot of people. It was God's revenge. (by Percy)

The Three Nephites (the following 7 legends by Deconstructor)
Lots of stories about these guys roaming around like Highlander.

Jesus Visits the Temple Regularly to Talk with the Prophet
All the "temple lights were on last night" stories go under here.

Priesthood Blessings
There's at least as many stories about blessings as garments. Mormons use the same selective memory trick with blessings. If they live, it's the priesthood, if they die, it was meant to be so you should be happy.

The Spirit Helped My Find My Lost Keys/Purse/Wallet/Credit Card/ etc..
'nuf said.

We Met Each Other/Were a Family Before We Were Born
Remember the old "My Turn On Earth" and "Saturday's Warrior" roadshow crap? Lots of urban legends about this.

Indian Skin Turning White After Joining the Church
There were lots of stories about this during the 1950s and 60s. Even Kimball spread these stories around.

America's Founding Fathers are Mormons
There's the story of the founding fathers all appearing to a prophet in the St. George temple and demanding thier temple work be done. There's the Mormon leaders saying the Constitution was "inspired" and is "scripture." Then there's the new huge statue in Provo of Jefferson, Washington and Franklin all kneeling in prayer Mormon-style.

Here's one I heard a few years ago (by wonderman)

In one of the temples, a temple worker became aware of a large crowd gathering in the foyer. She assumed it was a busload of people just arriving to go through and went about her business. Then she observed two very large men dressed in armor and carrying swords who positioned themselves in the entryway so as not to allow the people inside the temple. The temple worker realized that the men were angels protecting the temple from a horde of demons.

I wondered, since both angels and demons are immortal, why would the angels bother to wear armor or carry swords?

Missionary Training Center (by al-marek)

A mercenary at the Empty Sea had had a dream that there were Nephite warriors guarding every door and window at the Empty Sea. Also, he saw legions of angels descending from above to guard the Clubhouse from hordes of demons. The demons were trying to destroy the Celestial Triangle (MTC-BYU-temple), but the legions of Nephite warriors kept them at bay. This mercenary related this dream to a visiting GA who "confirmed" that it was true.

Rumor is that the pres of the Provo Clubhouse lived near the Clubhouse. One night, at about 2 am, he got up for a drink of water. (There must have been a monster outside his room.) He noticed that the lights inside the Clubhouse were on. As he made preparations to dress and investigate, the phone rang. It was the profit of the cult, telling the Clubhouse pres that "the Lord" was in "His House", you know, just looking around, and that the Clubhouse pres should just go back to bed.

The Holy Ghost will stop you from divulging temple secrets. (By Sobriquet)

My TBM mom was really big on this one. It cracks me up when I look back on how melodramatic she'd get when she'd catch herself starting to say too much.

We'd be sitting there talking about the temple, and she'd suddenly stop talking and put her hand over her mouth. When I'd ask her what's wrong, she'd say, "The Spirit stopped me from talking," or "The Holy Ghost made me mute because I was starting to tell you too much." She was very dramatic about it.

I guess I shouldn't think it's funny because she was probably terrified that someone or something would soon be coming to slit her throat.

Actually, I'm pissed! Damn cult doing that to my mom!

Did you hear the legend of the unworthy temple attendees? (All Ears)

There was the rumor of a group going into the temple to get their endowments. Allegedly, one of the workers stopped the procession and said, "There are two people here engaged in adultery. Please leave now." No one moved. The worker repeated what he said. Finally, when no one would leave, he made a THREAT and said "There are two people here engaged in adultery and if they do not leave now I will call out their names!"

Then, quietly, two of the members in the procession left.