August 13 is my father's birthday.
He was an amazing man. He taught me to tie my shoes, how to ride a bike, and he made damned sure I didn't, "throw like a girl." He loved dogs, hated cats. He ran miles on his lunch breaks from work, and never once told a friend he couldn't help them with something. He built fences, sheds, moved people all over the place, and even helped my grandparents bail hay. There wasn't anything he couldn't do. Really. A true jack-of-all-trades.
Both of my parents were at every once of my dance recitals, plays, piano recitals, concerts, solos, games, and awards ceremonies. If it sounds like a lot, it *is* a lot. They were always there, never missed a thing.
He coached basketball, little league, and helped with soccer. By the time my brothers and I were too old to play, he volunteered to be a referee. He was a boy scout leader, and someone everyone could turn to for help.
Everyone knew my Dad. They knew he was a straight-shooter with a great sense of humor. He was honest, to the point, and kind. He was generous, with his time and money.
He was a good person. His life was much too short. I spent much of my day thinking about what I would be doing for his birthday if he were still with us. Would we be having the annual barbecue (even though I just went vegetarian... oh, I am sure he would laugh at that!)? Would we go out to dinner? Would he give me hell about adopting three cats? Would he still have salt-and-pepper hair? Would he have different glasses? Strange things to think about, but I wish I didn't have to wonder.
The hardest part about learning the truth about the church isn't how hard it is for me in my day to day life. The hardest part is now knowing that I truly have no answers. I don't know if I will ever see him again and it kills me. It's like dealing with his death all over again. It hurts so bad. It's not fair. He didn't deserve that cancer. He was such a good person.
I wish I could give him a huge hug.
I miss him so much.
I love you Dad. Happy Birthday.
Andee
Me.
WindySydney began as an online journal detailing my exit from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Since leaving the Mormon Church, I have come to the conclusion that religion does more harm than good. I have also become an atheist, looking for logic and reason instead of accepting things on faith.
I also blog about things going on in my life. I am learning photography, I have a severe addiction to diet coke, I am a proud vegetarian, and I have two of the cutest cats in the world. Life is officially an adventure without the magical fairy-tale ending. I plan on enjoying it.
-Andee
Since leaving the Mormon Church, I have come to the conclusion that religion does more harm than good. I have also become an atheist, looking for logic and reason instead of accepting things on faith.
I also blog about things going on in my life. I am learning photography, I have a severe addiction to diet coke, I am a proud vegetarian, and I have two of the cutest cats in the world. Life is officially an adventure without the magical fairy-tale ending. I plan on enjoying it.
-Andee
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August 14, 2008 at 2:09 PM
I really believe that there is an after life. Maybe one that we can't comprehend and won't be able to until we are in it. I choose to believe this though, I have no logic pointing to it. But I believe that if there is one that your dad must be so proud of you.
August 14, 2008 at 6:01 PM
Your dad sounded like a great guy. I am sorry you had to be separated from him so soon. I haven't had to go through anything like that so I cannot know the kind of pain you feel.
August 14, 2008 at 6:39 PM
How sweet of you to remember your dad's birthday. I never do anything to recognize mine (he died in '95) but I do still think about him a lot. You obviously are still dealing with a lot of pain surrounding his loss....((((((hugs))))))
You went vegetarian? Wow, good for you- you're stronger than me! Are you being strict about it or just trying to avoid meat and will make exceptions? Fish? Eggs?
August 14, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Thanks for the kind words guys.
He was an amazing person. I have nothing negative to say about the man. He accepted his kids for who they were, and loved them. There is nothing better than unconditional love like that.
I really hope there is an afterlife. I don't know what to think now. I feel like I was made a fool of over this whole Mormonism nonsense. I like to think he is up there in heaven or whatever cheering me on. He was a firm believer that people should know the truth. He would have loved this information I am just learning about!
To answer the question about being a veggie, I just simply stay away from meat. I eat eggs and dairy, but thats about it. After seeing a video about conditions some of the animals live in, I can't bring myself to bite into a hamburger ever again.
Silly thing is, I don't like vegetables... at all. What in the world am I going to eat now? Lots of pasta and grilled cheese so far. I will keep everyone updated. It's hard, because I love chicken. Love. I just love the animals more.
August 15, 2008 at 6:57 AM
Have you checked out www.localharvest.org ? You can search your area by zip code to find locally produced foods, and you would probably be able to find local, humanely raised chickens. If you don't have a problem with an animal losing it's life to feed you (I don't) at least you can know that it had a happy life, not crammed in a warehouse or cage and pumped full of antibiotics.
Back on topic, I think I believe in reincarnation more than anything else, and that we will encounter certain "souls" in every incarnation. I am sure you will see your dad again.