Trying Too Hard

Posted by: Andee / Category: , ,

I love watching General Conference on television. I obviously don't do this for the spiritual aspects of it, as a matter of fact, the thing usually makes me angry enough to turn it off a couple times. Last October I watched a few talks with my Never-Mormon roommate and I had to leave the room. Julie B. Beck and her lovey-dovey nonsense got to me.

The reason I enjoy watching is because I am seeing now, for the first time, how fake everything is. It's actually pretty funny once you notice it.

Let me explain...

Anyone who walks to the pulpit at General Conference (or any other church meeting for that matter) talks in this sugary-sweet, singy-songy, reverent tone that pretty much lulls me to sleep. I think they do this to make it seem as if they are truly feeling the spirit, but it's over the top.

If I close my eyes, I can picture Julie B. Beck's talk in the October 2007 General Conference. To be honest, I don't have to try hard... that image will be pressed in my brain for eternity because it made me so mad. She has her hands clasped together on the podium. Her hair and clothes are perfect, and "pressed to perfection." She closes her eyes to emphasize certain words in her now famous "Mothers Who Know" speech. If you could hear what she was trying to say, you would have heard this: "Look at me, I am so full of the spirit that I could spew chunks all over the first row!"

It goes farther than speeches and talks. It goes to Sacrament Meetings, in the long boring prayers that people fall asleep to.

Once a person is well known in the church, they automatically add an initial to their name. It could be their first name, or middle... but it's always there.

Gordon B. Hinkley
Thomas S. Monson
Neal A. Maxwell
Julie B. Beck
M. Russell Ballard
Boyd K. Packer
Henry B. Eyring

In my humble opinion, it even shows in the titles of some of the books they publish... it's like they are trying to sound sweeter, kinder, smarter, and more loving than they really are. Sometimes they throw extra words in there like "thou" and "thine" to make the titles seem more spiritually inspired. Sometimes they just simply move words around to make the title seem more inspired. Here are some examples of what I am talking about:

That It All May Be Edified
Boyd K. Packer

Teach Ye Diligently
Boyd K. PackerAs The Father Hath Loved Us
Vaughn J. Featherstone

Whom The Lord Loveth
Neal A. Maxwell

All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience
Neal A. Maxwell

Not My Will, but Thine
Neal A. Maxwell

Because He First Loved Us
Henry B. Eyring

Here is something I found in the August 2008 Ensign...

May We So Live
Thomas S. Monson

See what I am saying? It's just weird to me. Can't we talk like normal people? Do we have to pretend to be super-spiritual?

Maybe it's just me.