Stop It!

Posted by: Andee / Category:


Dear Unbelievably Rude 13 year-old Customer,

I am sorry you saw the wrong price tag on the item you wanted to buy, but that was your mistake... not mine. Calling me a bitch under your breath because you didn't get your way was uncalled for. Also, ordering your grandfather around is a really rotten thing to do. You treated him like shit. Stop it.

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

I know you love reggae, and I appreciate that. However, playing music all night long isn't exactly the neighborly thing to do. Especially when the bass in your stereo system shakes the walls. There are other people who live here. Next time this happens I will drive to Wal-Mart, buy a Barney the Dinosaur CD, and blast it as loud as possible. Revenge is sweet.

Dear Wal-Mart Worker,

I have no idea why I continue to shop in your store, especially after how I was treated today. I asked for help with something extremely heavy, and all I got in reply was a big sigh and a roll of your eyes. I didn't complain about you because I know what it's like to have a bad day. You shouldn't treat customers like that, you might end up losing your job. I pray to God you never end up working with or for me.

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

No, I don't think Mormons are horrible. Do you even bother to read what I write, or are you forming an opinion before you should? Please stop emailing me to tell me how rotten I am and look in the mirror. Who are you to judge?

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

Stop fighting. Get a divorce and move on. I am tired of hearing, "You don't understand me!" a million times a night. Get counseling or move the hell on. Really.

Dear Roomie,

It is your time to do the dishes, clean the counters, and sweep the floor. Please... for the love of God, help me out around the apartment. It's not womans work, and even though you are joking when you say that, it still pisses me off.

Love, Andee


2 comments:

  1. Truly Confused Says:

    Can I please add one?

    Dear Trashy Neighbor,

    You were asked to be quiet by the landlord when you moved in. Digging a horseshoe pit in the front yard and having your drunken guy friends playing does not make you quier. Walking around with with a cigarette hanging out of your lip, while shirtless with that big old beer gut may have permanently ruined my sex drive. I heard you and your friends talking about what "the girls like". May I suggest that you get a job? Nothing impresses girls like a man who can actually pay his own bills, and not rely on the state system. Also, drinking beer and playing horeshoe and wiffle ball is not all that impressive.

    Finally, if you don't mind, can you please step in front of a bus so that I can have peace in the final 5 days in my apartment? Thanks so much,

    That "bitch" who lives next door and does that crazy thing called work.

  1. Andee Says:

    Oh yeah... please let me add one for ya, too!

    Dear Truly Confused's neighbor,

    Grow a brain, heart, and a little compassion. Get a life. Be nice. I would hate to have something really smelly come your way. If it does, you deserve it. Be good to my friend you jackass!